Lie to me if you have to

rachswi

Someone please tell me my kid will eventually sleep on his own. I feel like we've tried everything to get this kid to sleep without being held and all of it has been an epic failure.

We've tried swaddling with a regular blanket. We bought the "miracle swalddle." We've put him down when he's dead asleep. We've put him down when he's drowsy. We've used the pack n play. We've used his bouncy seat. We've warmed both up. We've warmed the whole room up. We've put shirts I've worn that smell like me down under him. We've given him a pacifier. I've laid there with my hand on top of him so he knows I'm there. I've tried laying down next to him with our bodies touching and that still won't do it - he will not sleep for more than 30 minutes unless he's held.

I don't know what else to do. Zeke is almost 5 weeks and I've spent almost all of those 5 weeks in the recliner in our living room. I just want to lay in bed while my child sleeps.

Does anyone with a super attached child have any tips? Is there something else I can do? Or do I just have to wait it out and keep trying? Honestly, the attempts make the nights more exhausting than just sleeping in the recliner with him - Zeke gets as many as 5 hours of sleep at night when I hold him, so I'm able to get about 4... Part of me just wants to keep sleeping in the recliner since then I actually get sleep, but I want Zeke to be able to sleep on his own since that's better for him (and safer).

Lie to me if you have to, but please tell me this will get better. Any tips you can offer would be great.

GoogleMD

I think it is just about finding thr right combination. We got out LO 4 different beds before finding one that he liked enough to sleep in every night. We now have a bassinet that sits in bed with us. He has an actual frame and the side comes up about 12 in so I don't worry about rolling. But he is able to see/smell me and I can comfort him if he starts fussing.

We have also found that we need to keep him nice and warm, we started putting a onsie on under his sleeper, and then swaddle.

I am guessing you have tried this, but the noise machine was a life saver for us, especially after finding that he really likes thr crashing waves setting.

Good luck, he will sleep by himself eventually

mollynap

No advice but I'm in the same boat! We have the fancy Halo bassinest and I have gotten lucky two times when she sleep in there for more than 15 minutes.

I try every night but it's sometimes easier just to have her sleep on me so we can both get some sleep!

rachswi

@GoogleMD yes we do white noise - forgot that one. He likes the straight white noise. It calms him down and will put him to sleep but even that won't keep him asleep.

We haven't tried his actual crib yet since that's not in our room but maybe we need to

SweetTooth126

My LO is 5 weeks. We have tried a bunch of sleeping options (pack n play, mamaroo, rock n play, stroller bassinet, halo bassinet) and this is what works for us. He used the snuggle nest surround xl in bed with us for a while. This is nice because it's on an incline. Eventually I wanted my bed back so I put that whole thing into the halo bassinest next to our bed. We put him down when he is dead asleep, swaddled, with brown noise (softer than white noise). He sleeps 2-3 hour stretches in that, which is all I can ask for right now! Keep trying different combinations, mama! He will grow out of this!! Hang in there.

RaisingJulian

I know some people hate doing this but do u let him cry for a bit when he is lying down? My LO started pulling that to but I started letting him whine for a bit and he would fall to sleep. I don't mean let him lay there screaming his head off though. My 3 year old just started sleeping through the night & that's only because he knew if he woke up & cried for milk I would get it for him. When I figured that out I stopped getting the milk & for a week or so he kept waking up damn near all night but we kept with it so now he learned & we're completely fine. So I learned with this one that if I leave him for a bit (when he's not hungry or wet) he'll fall back asleep on his own.

wimamaof2

We're trying to get our LO used to the crib. We put a rolled up towel to incline the mattress. So far, he takes 2 naps a day in it. We are also getting him used to sleeping in his pack and play. He would only sleep about 15 minutes before crying and this morning he slept 1 full hour, whined a little, I have him his paci and he soothed himself back to sleep. Keep trying to put him there...even if he sleeps a little bit. It will be tiring. We've been doing it for 4 weeks and it's now paying it off.
At night, he sleeps un his glider. We will be transitioning to the crib at night time soon.
Best of luck to you!

NovemberSno

Have you tried a swing? It's not really a good habit to get into but it may work. Let him swing until he's dead asleep and then stop it so you can rest. That way once he's sleeping you won't need to move him at all. Maybe a combo of that with your shirt and warmth? Worth a shot since you've tried everything else?

MargaretC5

With my first we used to put him in the swing and push it back as fast as we could (like twice as fast as it runs on its own). At the same time we would turn on the hair dryer, we found the louder white noise helped much more then the noise machine when he was screaming. When DS fell asleep (15 to 30 minutes), we would turn the swing on to the max speed and turn the hair dryer off. If he started to stir we would turn the hair dryer back on.
Good luck.

sadyy131

Not sure if you've tried this, but have you used something that vibrates? I know you said bouncer, does it have a vibrate setting? My LO sleeps best with vibration, so we've been trying to transition her from the bouncer to her bassinet by using this little vibration machine we found at target, I believe it's by Eddie Bauer. It's a little box that you stick in the bassinet, stroller, etc and it makes it vibrate. It's a life saver let me tell you.

rachswi

He screams his head off when he's in the swing. seems like if he knows he's not touching mom or dad, life is ending. He sleeps with one hand on me (sometimes even holding the collar of my shirt) like he's ensuring I won't go anywhere.

Our seat only bounces. I'll have to try vibration.

doodleoodle

When you've laid down in bed with him have you tried cradling him in the crook of your arm and keeping him close?

rachswi

doodleoodle said:

When you've laid down in bed with him have you tried cradling him in the crook of your arm and keeping him close?

Yes I've even tried having our bed warmer on so he still feels warmth all over like he does when he sleeps on me

bravoandprosecco

I'm having the same issue and now have him sleep with me in bed (I know the danger don't yell at me) but I did just discover LO likes to sleep on his side so now I put him in the rock n roll slightly tilted and it helps!

kwaldy

LO likes to be warm. Like toasty freaking warm. She now sleeps in a rock and play next to our bed, but we have to drape a receiving blanket over it to keep the air warmer. She hated cold air on her face and spent 3 nights screaming until we figured that one out.

wulfpackgirl

Swaddle, then let him fall asleep on your chest then put in a rock n play. That's how we did it at first. Two months old and still seems to like his rock n play but mine isn't the best sleeper either. He's sleeping on my chest right now in the rocker. I need to get up and do some things but he's so sweet and peaceful. I don't do this everyday.

rox7777

My kid was like this for the last week or so. Finally last night I just laid him down in his crib with the fan on and walked away. I made sure to turn off all the lights and the only noise was the fan. He ended up falling asleep and staying asleep for 3 hours.

My first slept on my chest for 6 weeks. We finally got him to sleep swaddled on the boppy between us and then at 4 months he switched to the pack n play.

rachswi

Sarah052085 said:

I'm having the same issue and now have him sleep with me in bed (I know the danger don't yell at me) but I did just discover LO likes to sleep on his side so now I put him in the rock n roll slightly tilted and it helps!

Based on how LO sleeps on me I think he may be a belly sleeper but he can't roll over yet so I may try putting him on his side and see if that makes a difference.
@kwaldy - Zeke likes being super warm too. Maybe I'm not getting it warm enough for him and need to go warmer

@wulfpackgirl - will try. We just got the miracle swaddle yesterday and will try that again tonight

lyankowi

I am so sorry @rachswi good luck tonight. @kwaldy might be right about warm air, can you try a receiving blanket covering the top of whatever he's in.

MercyC1130

I've been having fun with this for just a few couple days.. Bless your heart, 5 weeks..
I hadn't heard of the 6 week thing. That makes me nervous! My little guy is only 2 and a half weeks.
I like what someone said on another thread and have just been reminding myself; everything is just a phase.

angelinthepit23

If he does like being super warm maybe try throwing his jammies/swaddle/blankets in the dryer to warm them up. My LO also likes being snuggly so we do this with his after bath towels and jammies.

rachswi

Starting to think we may need todo this in stages. We hadn't been swaddling him because he seemed to hate it. And he keeps startling himself awake if his arms aren't pinned so he wasn't sleeping in a pnp or bouncer or anything. Thinking maybe we need to get him used to swaddling first then try laying him down once he's not fighting the swaddle so forcefully. Idk.... We've already been trying for 2.5 hours to get him to sleep in the pnp. He was in deep sleep but woke up as soon as we laid him in the warmed up pnp with an extra blanket over him.

Could he just maybe still be too young to be ok with being apart from me? Am I forcing this too much?

A&A9222012

Our little guy was having the same issue. He slept in his pack n play once and crib once but stopped. I went out last night and bought a rock n play with the auto rocker. Best purchase...he slept last night from 12 to 430 and 5 to 830!

loverofnaps

DS will be 6 weeks tomorrow and has not slept on his own for more than a couple hours. We've tried everything as well and have resorted to bed sharing until he wakes for his first feeding (which is usually 3 hours, sometimes up to 5 hours) then we move to the couch so I can nurse and not disturb DH. When DH gets up for work, w e head back to the bed. This is the only way I've managed to get sleep.... I'll deal with the consequences later!

taykerslake

LO was good in the beginning about sleeping on his own and then the last few weeks will only sleep for more than half an hour if he's in my arms or lying in bed beside me. Even if I get up to go to the bathroom he will wake up. Tonight he finally slept the entire night in the pack and play. It will get better. I know it's tough. We're all probably sleep deprived and missing our beds with our SO's but one day we will look back on these days and be thankful we got to snuggle our babies this much.

BryDienta

Lurking from O15 but I was in the exact same boat.  Found out LO will ONLY sleep alone on his stomach.  He has amazing head control and holds himself up with his hands so we tried a nap on his stomach and he did amazingly.  Since then he has slept 6+ hours every night in his bassinet on his stomach!  I know you're not supposed to put them on their stomach but we all needed better sleep and he's now a great sleeper.  So maybe try a nap on his stomach and see how it goes.  Good Luck!

helsbels222

When he sleeps on you, does he usually sleep on his belly? Do you lay him down on his back in his pack n play?

Also you probably tried this but his body against yours produces a lot of heat. He may like it very warm. Try another layer on him.

peachesnpearls

We've changed diaper before feed, feed, burp and key is double swaddle with Muslin blankets so he can't feel when we lay him down then rock on chest in glider and place in rock n play asleep on vibrate--- also lowering temp in house to 68 has helped- little dude slept 5 hours , one night wake for past 3 nights at 3.5 weeks and about 8.5 pounds so not a huge chunk and BF! Love love love the rock m play. Trying to do at least 1 nap in crib... That's not going as well...

rachswi

@helsbels222 - he sleeps every which way when I'm holding him. Face down, in the crook of my arm, on his side.... But won't do the crib. I'm thinking I may try putting him down for a nap on his belly so I can watch how he does. He has great head control and is really strong so he may be able to handle belly (both DH and I are belly sleepers but I've been hesitant to let LO sleep on his belly because I know it's not as safe)...

Another layer may help. I'm afraid of getting him too warm since he's in a fleece sleeper under the swaddle. But maybe if I wrap him a second time, he won't get as much of my body heat when I'm trying to get him to fall asleep

mrsgabus

Anna has slept in her bassinet for 2 nights now ...before That she refused to be anywhere for more Than 30 minutes unless it was on me.

The last 2 nights we have woke her up to feed at 12 am, changed her and then put a sleepsack on her. Put the vibration on the bassinet and then laid her down. She does fuss for a few minutes but then she seems to fall back asleep.

As a mother of 3 ... it will get better. If you find a way that works take what you can get

rox7777

rachswi said:

@helsbels222 - he sleeps every which way when I'm holding him. Face down, in the crook of my arm, on his side.... But won't do the crib. I'm thinking I may try putting him down for a nap on his belly so I can watch how he does. He has great head control and is really strong so he may be able to handle belly (both DH and I are belly sleepers but I've been hesitant to let LO sleep on his belly because I know it's not as safe)...

Another layer may help. I'm afraid of getting him too warm since he's in a fleece sleeper under the swaddle. But maybe if I wrap him a second time, he won't get as much of my body heat when I'm trying to get him to fall asleep

Our guy likes to be snug too. I do a onesie or cotton sleeper with a muslin swaddle under a swaddle me. Double swaddling seems to be our trick. Otherwise he sleeps on his stomach. He's 8 weeks but last night he slept 6 hours on the pack n play on his stomach.

helsbels222

rachswi said:

@helsbels222 - he sleeps every which way when I'm holding him. Face down, in the crook of my arm, on his side.... But won't do the crib. I'm thinking I may try putting him down for a nap on his belly so I can watch how he does. He has great head control and is really strong so he may be able to handle belly (both DH and I are belly sleepers but I've been hesitant to let LO sleep on his belly because I know it's not as safe)...

Another layer may help. I'm afraid of getting him too warm since he's in a fleece sleeper under the swaddle. But maybe if I wrap him a second time, he won't get as much of my body heat when I'm trying to get him to fall asleep

That's what I was getting at. I know it's not safe like sleeping on the back though. You should be okay as long as you watch him to see how he does and keep the fitted sheet and mattress smooth and flat. My DS slept on his belly because it was the only way to keep him from spitting up in his sleep.

ColoradoHiker

Any chance your baby is too warm, rather than not warm enough? DS does seem to run hot like DH and I do. At a month olds, we're now putting him in a long sleeve onesie and a loose swaddle (muslin or cotton receiving blanket) at night. Or only a sleeper, no onesie or swaddle, during the day. He gets really warm and sweaty otherwise, even though our rowhome is not warm at all. I wish you good luck and hope you find a solution soon!

rachswi

@ColoradoHiker maybe. But I kind of doubt it. He sleeps really well when I'm holding him with a blanket wrapped around us so it seems he likes to be warm.

We're currently going on almost an hour and 45 minutes into his afternoon nap. I put him on his belly and that seems to be working. Apparently I have a belly sleeper. So of course I've been sitting here his whole nap watching him to make sure he's ok. So far so good lol. Not sure I'm ok with him sleeping on his belly all night yet when I can't watch him... We have his month old pediatrician appt tomorrow so I guess I'll ask the doc what we should do. 

Pontot31

rachswi said:

@ColoradoHiker maybe. But I kind of doubt it. He sleeps really well when I'm holding him with a blanket wrapped around us so it seems he likes to be warm.

We're currently going on almost an hour and 45 minutes into his afternoon nap. I put him on his belly and that seems to be working. Apparently I have a belly sleeper. So of course I've been sitting here his whole nap watching him to make sure he's ok. So far so good lol. Not sure I'm ok with him sleeping on his belly all night yet when I can't watch him... We have his month old pediatrician appt tomorrow so I guess I'll ask the doc what we should do. 

Your pedi will likely say it's ok. My niece was a stomach sleeper and her doctor said to do what they needed to get her to sleep.
DS likes his belly some times too. We cosleep half the night and sometimes I let him sleep next to me on his belly.