Already scared for delivery...

MommyOfBabyG

I know this might sounds crazy given that I am in the first trimester but I am terrified about giving birth. Pregnancy doesn't scare me but the baby coming our does. My sister went through awful tearing when she gave birth. I have several friends that didn't carry full term and their babies were in the hospital for a long time before they were able to come home. I also had a really good friend die about a month ago in childbirth. As a result I am completely terrified something like these will happen to me.

sorarose

Being nervous about delivery is natural, but sounds like this is something you should discuss with you doctor as they will know your situation better than any of us. 

DrillSergeantCat

It sounds like you have valid reasons to be fearful. No matter how crazy you sound, tell your doctor. I can't tell you how many times I've cried in my doctor's office about anxieties I had. Your doctor needs to know your fears so (s)he can help talk you through them.

dolewhipper

I agree with PP. Have you thought about a doula? They can be a HUGE support for you during L&D

LaurenAsh23

I think we all have things that scare us about pregnancy (naturally). Mine is miscarriage since I've had 2 before. Unfortunately, the more I stress the worse it is for baby. I agree with pp, talk to your dr and look into a doula. Delivery is (hopefully) a very far way away and there's no use in worrying over it now and causing your body more stress.

lalala2004

It may help you to read some positive birth stories. There are tons online and in books. I read one called "Birth a Better Way" (geared towards med free birth). It's normal to be fearful or nervous, but unfortunately compounded anxiety would be more of a detriment that a help to delivery.

PrimRoseMama

MommyOfBabyG said:

I know this might sounds crazy given that I am in the first trimester but I am terrified about giving birth. Pregnancy doesn't scare me but the baby coming our does. My sister went through awful tearing when she gave birth. I have several friends that didn't carry full term and their babies were in the hospital for a long time before they were able to come home. I also had a really good friend die about a month ago in childbirth. As a result I am completely terrified something like these will happen to me.

I understand. However, any major medical event can have unwanted side effects and some of them dire. You can't live your life in fear. There are a number of great books about labor that you can read that can help you prepare. Can you ask your OB to recommend some.

https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/about-bwf/

https://www.amazon.com/Childbirth-Without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/1780660553

You can talk to your midwife and/or OB about your fears.

If it makes you feel better-- I've torn twice (both labors) and I'm TTC #3. Its not pleasant, but its not horrific.

cMichelle0423

MommyOfBabyG said:

I know this might sounds crazy given that I am in the first trimester but I am terrified about giving birth. Pregnancy doesn't scare me but the baby coming our does. My sister went through awful tearing when she gave birth. I have several friends that didn't carry full term and their babies were in the hospital for a long time before they were able to come home. I also had a really good friend die about a month ago in childbirth. As a result I am completely terrified something like these will happen to me.

Worst thing you can do is compare pregnancies. Every pregnancy is different. You have valid reasons to be worried, but when it comes to comparing someone else's experience to yours, is comparing apples to oranges.

meggyme

I'd suggest therapy and classes. Having someone help you through the death of a friend due to childbirth would probably be beneficial. They may also help you determine the source of your fear. The unknown, the pain, change in general?

As for the education, I'm sure your hospital offers a variety of classes. Mine offers all sorts of childbirth classes, parenting classes, and even classes on how to recognize preterm labor and what to do about it. Just my thoughts. Good luck.

alynne1113

Prenatal classes and therapy might help.

1faceinacrowd

I would definitely take a birthing class. I know it's hard when you personally know people who have had bad experiences, but every pregnancy and birth experience is different. 
If this helps at all - I went into labor a day after my due date and after 7 hours of labor (without pain meds), I pushed out a beautiful, healthy little girl after seven minutes of pushing, and didn't experience any tearing at all. Staying on your feet, or at least sitting up, helps to combat tearing and can also progress things more than if you're laying down. Even if you do tear, my understanding is that you quickly get stitched right up and you'll be fine, as tearing is perfectly normal.