TTC after 35

Does your partner know when you test?

For those of you with a partner: Do they know when you're going to take a HPT or have taken one? Do they want to be included? I tested last cycle on a whim and my husband was a bit hurt when I told him later. He said that we're in this together so he wants to know at the same time I do. I guess I get that. Aside from the cost, I passed on getting beta at the clinic last cycle, because I didn't like the idea of someone else knowing and telling me that I was or was not pregnant. Hmmmm...I think both of us have some control issues!

Re: Does your partner know when you test?

  • I always tell him when I am going to test--I appreciate him being involved. But I also only test if AF is late.
  • I tell him if he asks. A lot of times he'll pat my stomach and ask if there are babies in there yet (it's sort of cute).
    Married: 7/9/15
    Me: 37, DH: 36
    Started TTC #1: 9/2015
    Preliminary labs/testing @ 6 months: TSH, A1c, progesterone, prolactin, SA, HSG all normal
    BFP: 5/19/2016, M/C: 5/29/2016
    BFP: 6/22/2016  EDD 3//6/2017

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • I keep it to myself but will tell him immediately if its a BFP. He just finds out when AF arrives.
  • I would just take the test then tell him later. His work schedule is horrendous. So far this time around, AF has always show up and I haven't needed to take one. 
  • I'm usually the first one up and tend to leave my little cup with the OPK or HCG test on top of the toilet seat. He's used to it and dosent usually ask. I'll tell him if I'm getting negatives and feeling down about it. I guess we have been at it so long we just both know when I'm testing, it's not a big mystery. There were days in the beginning I shared more but now I just don't feel like making a big deal unless we get a BFP.
  • this is so interesting, I do not tell him when I'm testing.  In fact, I hide all evidence that I took a test so he doesn't see how many! HA!
    Now, I do tell him of course when AF comes and he is equally as disappointed.
    **child mentioned**
    Me(38)PCOS/Hypothyroid   DH(43)Low T/ED
    MMC at 10 weeks 03/2011 DD born 01/2012   TTC #2 since 04/2014
    BFP 8/26/2016

  • @PattersRN yes, that's very cute that he does that!
  • It's good to know I'm not alone in preferring to keep it to myself. @Sporty1216 - you saying that you appreciate your dh being involved turned it around for me. Yes, I should be appreciative. I will work on that. And happy belated birthday!
  • Sporty1216Sporty1216 member
    edited December 2015
    @BernieRae --I think one of the biggest benefits of him knowing when AF is due or when I might test is that he is more aware of whether I seem down and is able to give me some comfort if AF showed up or I got a BFN. I like not having to hide that emotion. But I also get that it we all handle these things differently too!
  • My hubby knows when my betas are.  It kind of takes the mystery out of it, actually.  I loved surprising him with our first pregnancy.  Put a big sister shirt on the pooch and threw the HPT at him (I was a little excited and shocked).  I'm sad that there's no surprise now...
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • @emsmama15 - Cute memory about surprising your hubby! Yes, no mystery when we're hardcore ttc!
  • I have tested only twice I think, and I didn't tell him, mainly because they weren't even due to a missed period, but took an early response one and was being totally irrational based on stupid symptoms and a "feeling" I had, which is why I kept it to myself.  Now, if it had been positive, I guess he might have been disappointed that I didn't do it with him around.  I learned my lesson and will wait until an actual missed period, and I will tell him I'm testing because he's the type that likes to be included and would want to experience it together.  
    Me: 41
    Husband: 40
    TTC#1 since 9/2014
    Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
  • I mostly hide all evidence. Since starting acupuncture I have been much more open about all we are doing in our TTC efforts. I mainly have done testing in secret to keep the stress off of doing the deed. And since it will be our first making it feel more natural and like a surprise. I did have him jump at the sound of my thermometer when I first started temping and he was still home and in bed. Ha ha. I have told him about taking a HPT when I have missed an AF. I tend to test in secret though because my cycles are so scattered. I think he will be fine finding out after especially since he is usually already off to work or at work when I get up in the morning.
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