Co-sleeping... when to stop?? — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Co-sleeping... when to stop??

My little one is 20 months old and is still co-sleeping. I don't mind it, it is quite convenient because he nurses during the night still. My spouse has asked a couple of times when our LO will start sleeping in his crib and I don't really have an answer. I am not sure that I will ever feel ready, I love the cuddles and am afraid that moving him into his room will be the beginning of him not nursing any more. Anyone have any advice on this? When did you know it was time to move your LO out of your bed/room? How old were they? Did they stop their night time feedings once you moved them?

Thanks for your help!

Re: Co-sleeping... when to stop??

  • If your other half is asking it's time. Your relationship with him has changed so much. Practically stopped if it's like mine, your spouse deserves a say in this.
  • Sounds like your partner would like to be the one getting some snuggles at night! Could you still do some nursing and snuggles as part of a bedtime routine with your LO, before putting LO down in the crib?
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  • On one hand, I am a big believer transitioning babies when they are ready but it has to be an agreement between both partners. My daughter is 2.5 years and still in our bed. My husband has never asked for her to be moved and we get plenty of alone time with each other. 
  • Our nearly 4 yr old still sleeps inn our bed, but she starts the night off in her own bed, and comes and gets in at some point. Occasionally she sleeps all night in her own bed, but very seldom.
    She stopped nursing around 3 1/2, but at the stage was only nursing first thing in the morning.

    Could that be a possibility for you, to move LO into his own bed, but leave the option of him joining you in the night.
    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old

  • I agree with pp that if your husband wants baby in the crib it's time to transfer to crib. I'm a believer in baby comes 1st but babies grow up and move out and husbands are there for life (ideally) so I say don't let a marriage suffer. From what I've read it could speed up the weaning process but your child is nearly 2 and I think that's fantastic and you would still be weaning at baby's pace.
  • I'm gonna be the odd one here and disagree that just because your husband is ready for baby to move out doesn't mean it is the right time. Dads typically aren't as connected to baby's needs as Moms are, and don't understand there will be a natural time when moving baby will make much more sense and be easier for everyone. As long as you are making time/space for eachother as a married couple, cosleeping shouldn't be a wedge in your marriage. (Disclaimer: dads totally have a say! I don't mean you should invalidate his feelings/wishes). I would just ask WHY he wants baby to move now, and see if he would be ok cosleeping until baby weans or turns 2 or just revisiting the topic again in a few months. A lot can change for a toddler in a few months!
    We have coslept with 3 kids, and we moved each child into their own bed right around age 2 (some earlier, some later). You will notice that right around age 2 kids tend to become much more independent. I weaned them from nursing to sleep in our bed to reading books to sleep in their own beds (twin size or bigger with a railing - no cribs or toddler sized beds for us). Either DH or I would get right in bed with them to read, snuggle, etc, but typically stay till they fell asleep. Sometimes they'd wake up and find their way to our bed. No big deal. Now my youngest is almost 3 and she has no problem with me reading/snuggling with her then saying goodnight and leaving the room. And she sleeps in her bed all night. You have to do what is best for all of you, but keep in mind that a baby's needs change quickly - it may seem to your husband that you baby will be in his bed forever, but you will be amazed at how quickly their needs change and how much easier transition is when you do it on baby's terms and not your own.
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