Intro (child/loss mentioned). Need some encouragement.

DA682

Hi all-

I am new to the group. I have one 21 month old, who we conceived after a year of trying. I was diagnosed with low progesterone towards the end of the year and successfully conceived with crinone.  We started trying again this year in May and I got pregnant in July to my surprise.(I didn't use crinone b/c I was charting and had longer LPs with no spotting since having my son).  Anyway I was diagnosed with a missed mc at 9 weeks in August. Failed cytotec x2 and had to have a d+c in Sept.  I have had 2 normal cycles since then and we have been trying with no success. perfect timing and using crinone. This month I THOUGHT I had some extreme squinters but they've disappeared and I took a test today 14dpo and its a clear BFN. So it was either a chemical pregnancy or just evaps.

anyway I am just so so sad.  I am going down the path of depression that I felt during that year trying to conceive my son. I just want so badly to get pregnant again and with every failed cycle, I just go back to that place of feeling like something is wrong. We have had so much drama surrounding TTC and part of it is just my poor coping skills/obsessing/pessimism but it is reinforced by the long time to conceive my son and the miscarriage. I just need some words of encouragement that it hasn't been that long and everything is going to be ok.

Oh and my best friend just had a baby and I am excited to meet her and am excited for her, but its adding to the sadness I'm feeling. 

ceclarlinetlo

Hi @DA682 I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Trouble ttc is hard enough on its own and throw in a pregnancy loss and that's a lot to bear. Have you considered seeing a therapist? I recently started seeing one to help me through my grief over my two losses and frustrations/anxiety stemming from ttc for over a year. I've only had one appointment so far but I'm glad I started.

decoycandy

So sorry to hear the pain you are going through. I know you are desperate to conceive again, but it hasn't been too long and maybe your baby is just looking to the new year for a fresh start. I am also quite an anxious person and it took me 2.5 years to conceive my first (which was lost, mmc) now I have to wait patiently for my body to be ready to ttc again. I understand that the waiting is difficult, but for your health and the health of your future baby, you need to allow yourself time. Set small goals, and try simple breathing techniques and meditation. may your heart (and tummy) be filled with love in the new year.

crob5685

So sorry for your loss and understand how you feel. This journey is so hard. Hugs!

FireInWonderland

My heart goes out to you, and others in your shoes having such a difficult journey TTC. I've only barely started mine, so I don't know how to empathize with you - I can't imagine going through that, starting out with severe anxiety and depression like I have. If you have the resources, I use a combination of therapy, acupuncture and I make sure to love myself by making changes in my body and mind I want to see. The same combination might not work for you, but it might help you find other combinations that do. I truly wish you luck, happiness and a full belly for the 2016 year. Know that you have lots of support and encouragement here when you need something to fall back on.

RipleyLV426

I had a miscarriage in July, and it was the most devastating thing I've ever been through. You have all these hopes, and then they get stolen. I have also had a hard time with my anger and pessimism. But I try to look at it as I got pregnant once, so it can happen again. It's so hard to stay positive, when it seems like everything is going to poop. Just remember you always have us to talk to, and having someone who understands is key.  

Lovefor5inID

Oh you sweet, sweet soul, you lost your child, you have every right to be sad, depressed even. You have the right to be anxious, stressed and nervous about TTC. Your feelings are important, I hope your loved ones validate you in this...you do have the right to be sad but you also have the right to be happy.

It's ok to feel how you do, have bad days and good. Just remember you are a great mother, you are blessed with your sweet little one and will hopefully be doubly blessed soon.

Everyone says to try and relax, take it easy and enjoy the process, that it will happen, but it is not oftentimes made clear HOW to relax, HOW to take it easy, HOW not to be stressed...

Go to to a yoga class, take a walk with a playlist of your favorite kick-a-- songs, look for sweet moments throughout the day, indulge yourself with that dessert you always see And haven't tried, remember you are strong and just take a deep breath...feel whatever you do at the moment...but try and allow yourself small moments have happiness, those small moments will multiply and soon you will find yourself more positive than you are now.

You can do it. We believe in you and please let us know how you are doing. We care and are here for each other.

Autumnrae07

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss and struggles. I was still unsure if TB was gonna be my "home" while ttc but after my loss last month I was moved to tears, literally snotty ugly face crying when the ladies on here left kind words and we'll wishes. I didn't know how badly I needed to just have someone else who gets it to grieve. I hope things look up and your stay here is short and sweet.

decoycandy

I agree with the pp. After all the " it was not meant to be " and " well at least you know you can get pregnant " from well meaning, but clueless loved ones, it was a great comfort to read and "talk to" people who really understood.

queenklau

These ladies here are the best, there is not much else for me to add. I agree with everyone else above, but wanted to add my well wishes. We are here!!