nursing fears

Stephanie7693

This baby will be my third, and I'm really really hoping nursing will work this time.
With my first, she was early and spent the first 16 days in special care. They started bottle feeding her almost right away even though I told them I wanted to breastfeed. I still tried, but my milk didn't come in for 5 days, and they wouldn't let her lose any more weight than she did the first few days. We never got the hang of it, and pumping got me nowhere. My supply didn't produce much since she was never latching and being fed bottles whenever I wasn't there. It was a really hard time for us.
My second was born healthy, and I thought for sure we could make it work. We did, sort of, but he wasn't gaining enough and we had to supplement with bottles, and again the nurses in the hospital gave him bottles against my wishes. I pumped until i went back to work, but my supply dwindled quickly and pumping was only getting us 4 to 5 ounces a day. So again I gave up. I spent so much time crying while my son cried while I tried to nurse.
This time I'm thinking I won't let the nurses take the baby to the nursery at all since they don't seem to listen about bottle feeding. But beyond that, I just don't know what else to do to make sure we are successful this time. I desperately want to nurse my baby, I still regret not trying harder with my first 2.
Any suggestions? I had lactation consultants help with my first 2, but that didn't seem to be enough.

Chichigo

There's a book called Breastfeeding Take 2 that's about nursing after having problems with a previous baby. Try to attend a mother to mother support group meeting such as La Leche League or Breastfeeding USA in your second or third trimester.

Rooming in with the baby should help. Write a birth plan. Make sure your OB and pediatrician know. You can also get t-shirts and hats that say something like mama's milk only or breastfeeder in training.

You can also hire a private IBCLC to come to your home and help. It can be expensive, but if you consider the alternative is spending money on formula each week it balances.

Mrsrundell

This is probably the topic I have the most anxiety about.  So if the baby uses a bottle (at the hospital or at home early after birth) Is it difficult to get them to go back and forth between the breast and the bottle?  Any other books, videos, resources any STM would recommend for someone that is a true beginner on the subject?  

Chichigo

Bottles are easier than the breast. Some babies will quickly develop a preference for the quick and easy flow of a bottle nipple over than the work needed to get milk from mom's breast. Using slow flow nipples and a technique called paced bottle feeding can help.

Websites for more information include Kelly mom.and La Leche League international. I'm also a fan of a blog called the leaky boob.

The most helpful book, IMO, is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. The Nursing Mother's Companion is good, too.

ThePax89

Absolutely unaccaptable for nurses to give your child formula without you giving permission. I am so sorry this happened to you. I think you having the baby sleep in the room with you is a huge step, and not using pacifiers.

If they feed you the nonsense that your need to supplement with formula, suggest supplementing with your own breast milk. My good friend did this, she nursed, and pumped, nursed, and pumped- it was a ton of work but quickly, her supply was established and she now nurses with ease.

Mega luck.

Itsally1011

Breastfeeding was way harder than I thought it would be.  When my daughter was about 36 hours old she become very very hungry.  My milk had not come in yet (and it didn't for 5 days!) and so she was just screaming nonstop.  I made the decision to give her some formula bc she was so miserable and hungry.  She fell asleep immediately.  After that though she never would nurse again!  She ONLY wanted the bottle once she knew it existed.  So I pumped 8 + times a day for months and months and months.  It was exhausting.  I am just keeping my fingers crossed that my milk comes in sooner this time around.  All of this said.....I made the choice not to let myself lose any sleep over this or to be disappointed in myself.  Go easy on yourselves and just go with the flow!  That's my best advice and what I will do this time around as well.

Chichigo

In most cases, colostrum is enough for a newborn until mature milk comes in. A newborn has a stomach the size of a marble. If you feel your baby needs formula while you wait, there are other options besides a bottle. You can use a cup, a syringe, or a supplemental nursing system. If you are really concerned, bring your own bottles with slow flow nipples or request preemie nipples from the nurse (the bottles that come with the formula samples are too fast for a breastfed baby).

jckh912

Breastfeeding is hard work... I nursed both my LOs for 10months (until my job made it impossible to continue). The best advice anyone ever gave me was to take it one day at a time, don't set outlandish goals- you will fail! As @Chichigo said, babies don't need much right away. My pediatrician recommended a pacifier when my DD was born. I was induced, which delays your milk coming in, and my DD was NOT happy that there was no milk until day 6. She recommended I nurse for 30 mins every 2.5 hours and then give her the paci to soothe. We also never nursed to sleep!

1faceinacrowd

My daughter was breast fed and we got special bottles that they make for breast fed babies. Look for bottles with an insert that makes them have to press and latch, the way a breast does. I never had any issues with her going back and forth.

mrsmommya

My daughter took a paci in the hospital and then a bottle of breast milk for the first time at 2 weeks.  We nursed exclusively for 5 months and no trouble going back and forth or with her using the paci.  We were lucky she came home from the hospital eating every 4 hours.  She only nursed on one side for each feeding so I would pump the opposite side at that time to try to increase milk supply.  

Toricharline

Long reply, sorry, just my input. Not going to lie, nursing is hard work. And it sucks in the beginning. BUT with that being said, its totally worth it to stick with it. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. The second 6 weeks it gets better, then by the 3rd 6 weeks, itll be no hassle. Little goals are the way to go for sure. I started with 3 weeks, then kept telling myself "just one more week". By 3 months, I couldn't believe I ever thought of stopping. My daughter is now 19 months and still nurses.. Some babies do get nipple confusion, but not all. I didn't give my daughter a pacifier at all until she was about 1 month old. Its so important to read their hunger cues and make sure you nurse when they want it. It will help with your supply so much. I always fed my daughter on demand, and never had supply issues. Anytime she got fussy, I offered her breast first. If she didn't take it, I would then check diaper or rock her or whatever else. Its also important to have a good support system. Anyone you can lean on or talk to. My husband was amazing and very encouraging. My daughter had her first bottle though at 3 days old, because I wasn't sleeping and my husband insisted on helping. I would pump once or twice a day and once at night also (like 3am) but I was very strict about her only getting a bottle once a day. Anytime you give a bottle, make sure to pump to make up for that feeding. You body makes milk on demand, so less chances of losing your supply if you are constantly feeding or pumping. Your body should regulate around 5-6 months. You'll start being able to tell your baby is hungry before they even start fussing because your boobs will get full out of anticipation since it knows when you normally feed. If its what you want to do, I highly encourage it, and will offer any support or advice you need!

StephLouise35

I read that it's something both you and baby have to learn together, and if the nurses think they know better than mum, they're almost always wrong. Logically, if baby isn't exposed and "taught"/shown from pretty much day one as often as possible, than baby will just end up clinging to bottles. I say you should try and try, as it seems as this is something important to you. There's something called cluster-feeding, where, for some women, who don't produce enough straight away, every time baby gets hungry you feed baby, sometimes it can be every half an hour! Eventually the milk picks up and comes in full blow! Just thought that bit of information would help seeing as you seem very determined to get you're new baby latched! Just been doing some research. I hope this helps! I'm sorry if it doesn't, good luck!!

Toricharline

Cluster feeding mostly refers to when baby is going through a growth spurt or just needs extra comfort and wants to nurse constantly! My daughter would go through phases when she would want to nurse every couple hours for an hour at a time. You just go with it and it helps your supply increase for sure. definitely a leaving process for baby, but it doesn't come natural to everyone so don't be hesitant to ask for advice or help if you start getting frustrated and lost.. My close friend went back to work when her baby was 6 weeks old, (working 5 days a week 12 hour night shifts) and her son is now 1yr old and still has never had a drop of formula. She's ny hero, and proof that it is possible to maintain a nursing rekationsip even while working full time.

Toricharline

Learning process*