Chances of NOT Having an Early Miscarriage

ZedPM3

I'm not sure if anyone has posted this here yet, but reading this gives me some peace of mind seeing as this is my first time pregnant and having heard how common miscarriages are. I'm going to check this every day until my first appointment on 12/30!

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12575727/the-odds-of-not-having-an-early-miscarriage/p1

lalalorelai

Thanks @ZedPM3! I have this saved in my phone and check it every morning. Every day it gets a little bit better  

poeface

Me too

Jodiggity

I just screen shot it there, thank you

bluesky24

Thank you for posting this- I too have this bookmarked on my phone and look at it everyday. Helps me feel a bit more relaxed.

ballofmeat

Thank you for posting this! I am only 3 weeks and 5 days. Each day is a small victory!

mrsmommya

I actually hate this chart. I was 12w and my baby was 9w. Therefore I was in that 2% chance of a miscarriage. Not to scare anyone....but that's my two sense.

lalalorelai

mrsmommya said:

I actually hate this chart. I was 12w and my baby was 9w. Therefore I was in that 2% chance of a miscarriage. Not to scare anyone....but that's my two sense.

I am so sorry for your loss. I do get what you're saying--that less than 2% chance still amounts to a lot of sad, unfortunate miscarriages. 

But I could easily spend every waking minute worried that something is going to go wrong in this pregnancy. I don't think that's going to stop after I'm 9 weeks, 12 weeks, or probably ever. Hell, it'll probably keep going after my baby is born. And some days a 20% chance of miscarrying seems astronomically high to me. But it's all I can do to say "Today I am pregnant, and statistically I am likely to remain that way." This chart helps remind me of that. 

ramoseecology

mrsmommya said:

I actually hate this chart. I was 12w and my baby was 9w. Therefore I was in that 2% chance of a miscarriage. Not to scare anyone....but that's my two sense.

I'm in the same boat, and thought the same thing when I saw this chart. I miscarried at 11 weeks, baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I'm however hopeful that the odds are in my favor this time even though the odds were low last time.

ZedPM3

I'm sorry for your losses @mrsmommya and @ramoseecology . I'm not sure if this helps, but I read that your chances of a second miscarriages are lower than your normal chances of miscarrying (this graph). I think for the entire time it's at like 2%. I can't remember where I read it or else I'd link it (it might even be in the post that I linked in my OP).

allishally13

@mrsmommya and @ramoseecology

Same boat... I was all about the percentages chance last time until I realized the percentages didn't help me that time. This time, just spending every day reminding myself "today I am pregnant" and trying my best to not worry about any percentages. Fingers crossed and positive vibes for everyone.

bonella99

I agree that while it is nice to know that it is more statistically probable that everything will be ok, I will always worry. It seems like I just keep setting thresholds to pass; if I just make it 12 weeks, the risk of MC goes down; if I make it to 24 weeks, the baby is viable; if I make it to 40 weeks, they will be here; if I can make it through the first three months, the risk of SIDS goes down, etc, etc, etc.

Parenthood is just one big countdown to the next round of worrying! But I appreciate what the chart is trying to communicate, even though that remaining 2% is a lot of unhappy outcomes.

I'm so sorry to you ladies who experience a loss; I can't even imagine.  

mrsmommya

Well said @bonella99  It is a constant struggle from one thing to the next....making/raising humans is hard work!  

Also for those who have had MMC we are not fans of the saying "I am pregnant today" because for 3 weeks my baby was no longer living....which I find VERY saddening.

Having experienced a loss, like many women here, what really helps me is just living in the moment.....no charts, graphs, statistics nothing.  Just accepting that if I only have 9 weeks with this baby then I want it to be happy and joyful....am I still nervous/scared at times....of course.  I just don't let it consume me.  I also tell myself that this is the only way to get that baby and this is the path I have chosen.

ThePax89

Yes @mrsmommya I spent my entire last pregnancy terrified. It was brief, as I miscarried early on, but I regret not being ecstatic the whole time.

JournoGrl23

This is my second pregnancy as my last ended in a loss. Unfortunately statistics don't help me either. I'm trying to remain calm and enjoy the pregnancy, but it's so hard. Unfortunately I don't think I will stop worrying until it's born and in my arms alive and healthy. My loss was just such a shock for me that this time I can't help but thinking it could happen again. Hence the reason my addiction to POAS everyday. I really need to stop doing that though.

ThePax89

@JournoGrl23 try and stop with the peeing on sticks. I know it's hard. Worrying about line darkness will be the end of us.

JournoGrl23

@ThePax89 I agree, it will be the end of us. Thankfully I'm running out of tests. I ordered a ton of Wondfos off Amazon when we first started trying so I had some leftover after my BFP. I only have a couple left now. I think I'm going to ask DH to hide them and stop me from looking for them or trying to use them again.

ashleybaker712

@ZedPM3 I have seen the statistics about the chance of a 2nd miscarriage being really low as well. However, I have had 3 in row and all in 2015. Unfortunately, statistic don't calm those in the minority. Somehow, I fall into every stupid minority and statistics suck!

ZedPM3 said:

I'm sorry for your losses @mrsmommya and @ramoseecology . I'm not sure if this helps, but I read that your chances of a second miscarriages are lower than your normal chances of miscarrying (this graph). I think for the entire time it's at like 2%. I can't remember where I read it or else I'd link it (it might even be in the post that I linked in my OP).

ZedPM3

Hugs to everyone who's had previous miscarriages. Keeping you in my thoughts that these babies are sticky babies!!

Chichigo

I had a MMC and I do like the "today I am pregnant" philosophy. Even once I knew I was miscarrying, I felt the time it took gave me a few more days with my baby. Everyone processes fesr and loss in their own ways.

allishally13

Mine was a MMC as well, but I use the quote of "today I am pregnant" not quite literally, but as a means of just living in the moment. I can't predict what will happen, or what has already happened with this baby, but I need some sort of positive affirmation to myself to not go crazy worrying. I understand if others don't agree with this philosophy, just the one I'm using for myself.