Dilemma - Telling Family

2cutepups87

Hi Ladies, 

So I am struggling with a dilemma I need some input on. I can't ask anyone I know in person because they don't know I'm pregnant yet! 

DH and I are preparing to travel home for Christmas and will be visiting his family next week when we will announce our pregnancy to them. Then we will travel to my parents' house a few hours away the next week and announce it to them. The problem is that my Grandma and Aunt live in the same town as my in-laws and I would love to be able to tell them in person since I don't get to see them very often. I even bought my Grandma a little gift to announce it to her. BUT I don't quite feel right about telling extended family members before I tell my own parents. 

My parents are both very laid-back and I don't think their feelings would be hurt if I told others first but I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do. Am I over-thinking it? Or should I just not say anything to the Grandma/Aunt until a later time, though it would have to be over the phone or something? 

BooksForMe23

IMO, I would just do what you want to do.  If for some reason your parents do get upset, you can just explain that you had an opportunity to tell your grandma in person.  That's just my opinion though

Stephanie7693

I'm having a dilemma too, though much different from yours. My mom and MIL have both made it clear that they think 2 kids is enough. Well, now we are pregnant with number 3. Not completely by accident either. I had wanted to announce on Christmas when both our parents will be together, but I'm starting to get nervous that they won't be excited. And if they arent and say the wrong thing, my pregnant self may let that ruin my day, and possibly my kids day too. I'm just not sure what to do. It's killing me to keep it from them already, we are close with both our moms, but I don't know what to expect.

mrsmommya

@2cutepups87 This really doesn't sound like a problem.  Just do what you want and what works best for your schedule.  You know your parents and really this probably seems bigger to you than it will be to them.

@Stephanie7693 Sounds like your mom and MIL are a bit snooty....why do they care how many kids you have? More love, more happiness, more giggles and smiles....wow sounds really sucky.  I would never let someone dictate how many kids I have except for DH and if they offer their opinion then I will give them mine as well.  Not sure how you are announcing it, but If you don't feel they will be super excited then just tell another family member first rather than them.  They will catch on and hopefully not bring down the excitement.

StephLouise35

I haven't told my parents yet but my MIL and SIL know. Only because I was stressed to begin with and my MIL is a nurse (SIL knows because MIL tells her everything). I feel bad, but my parents ALWAYS overreact. I will be waiting until the 13 weeks is up.

amandoza23

With my first, I told my grandma before my mom. I saw her first and I'm a bit closer to her. She just didn't tell my mom that she knew first to save my mom from having hurt feelings.

Stephanie7693

@mrsmommya, I think part of it is that we are so close to them they don't think twice about telling us what they think. And my MIL babies my husband's brother, and is just used to her boys following her advice. Frankly, she is usually right. I know for her it's just that kids are expensive, and his parents are all about saving money.
My mom on the other hand just plain thinks 3 kids will be too much for me. I know I'll be fine. It will be more work, but more fun. She just sees more kids fighting and me being crazy mom referee...
My husband thinks we should wait until march lol. It's my third, there's no way we can make it that long! But I'm thinking about just waiting until they notice. I feel bad for thinking it, but Im starting to think they don't deserve to know right away or have some cute announcement. I almost want them to be a little hurt because of all this.
Sorry for the novel... I'm a confused, exhausted, hormonal mess lately. It's left so little time to be happy and that makes me sad too