Are you still with the same doctor?

silentP

Just curious what you all have decided. I feel like I will feel nothing but anxious and sweaty going back to my doctor if I get another BFP. I guess I like the idea of having another positive experience there, and I believe I can. I like my doctor and the staff, but it is a place of bad memories now.

ceclarlinetlo

I really loved my OB. She did both of my D&Cs and I'll go back to her hopefully when the time comes.

m6agua

I was seeing my PCP. I saw the OB once when I had the ultrasound to confirm the MC. I will continue to see my PCP up to 28 weeks and I will choose a different OB.

lilyaster

I was seeing a midwife group when I had this last miscarriage. I'm definitely a midwife type person, and I've always used midwives for my deliveries, so that's my natural choice. But part of me feels like I'll have the same experience if I go back to that office, and that part of me wants a new start in a different office. (An OB did my D&C, so that's another choice)   I feel like I'll probably end up back at the midwife practice, but I don't know what I'll do at first.

ssnova

If you know my story from other post I have left the OB I was using and will not be returning (she missed red flags at my first two appointments, and I believe there may have been a chance to prevent my mc, as well made very insensitive comments to me just hours after the mc) we have a midwife who we had our follow up work done with and will be using her as soon as we get pregnant again. @silentP even though it may seem hard going back to the same place with the bad memories I think if you really liked your dr that's what counts most and that's what you should focus on.

BornReady

I am thinking about switching, but not necessarily due to my miscarriage. I am OK overall with my OBGYN practice. I've had them for years, but delivered my first out of an ER as I went into labor out of town. I'm contemplating a switch at this point not due to bad memories, but looking for someone who has a higher risk population (fertility, premature labor, now miscarriage) as well as better access to a NICU/neonate team. 

If you feel like you like your practice and trust them I would think about staying. I have a feeling that your anxiety will be pretty high and the memories will be triggered no matter what OB office you are in for your next pregnancy, don't you think? Whether it's the ultrasound machine or the doppler, for women who have had a loss, our hearts are always going to freeze up in those moments from now on. Maybe you could interview/look into some alternatives and see if they are enough to make you want to switch?

silentP

That is a good point @BornReady. It's not as if I can avoid ultrasounds at another practice, etc. I feel well taken care of at my current practice, so I will probably stay. I was thankful he encouraged testing after two losses, instead of waiting for three. I have my follow up appointment next week, so I guess I can assess what I want to do from there. Thanks!

PeggyOlsonFTW

I love my OB and will be staying with her. She was beyond caring and listened to all my concerns after my first loss. She delivers at the best hospital in the region and the maternity and newborn care there is incredible. My only concern is that I'm not sure if she handles high risk patients (which she might consider me since I've had two back to back losses after a healthy pregnancy and am in my mid-thirties), so I'm worried she might have to transfer my care, which would really really blow.

FireInWonderland

I love my OB - and at a military hospital, with military insurance, you don't get as much choice because they won't refer you out when they have OB care onsite. I *could* go out in town here (I have the right kind of Tricare insurance that covers other practices), but I would have to pay a co-pay with the appointments and the delivery. DH also works at the same hospital and was able to check into all of the doctors and we really like the woman I ended up with. She's very attentive, and that's a huge bonus in a military hospital because they're always so busy and sometimes a little subpar in terms of doctor-patient relationships. But she's been fantastic and wants to see me immediately when I get another BFP to start my care and early/ more frequent monitoring. She has gone through miscarriages herself and is very adept at dealing with them and the emotions that accompany them. The only way I'd switch is if I was forced to for some reason.

tinypikachu

I'll be staying with my OB. The first time I saw him was late at night when he had me come in due to some spotting and he was so caring and attentive that the miscarriage experience really didn't put me off. Their office does trigger bad memories (I'll always remember the news I got there and how distraught I was when I was sitting in the lobby waiting for my Cytotec appointment and all the women coming in had beautiful little bumps). The bad memories will be there for me but knowing how much they care and how good they are at what they do is a stronger feeling. When I go back, I'll mostly remember that they walked me through what I went through in the sweetest most respectful way and that they are so rooting for us to get our baby.

fsuswim

@BornReady I totally agree! My ob is great and did everything to help me through my loss. At first I thought of finding a new doctor because of the memories. Now I feel that I would be more anxious at a new doctor compared to a doctor who was familiar with me. If you trust your doctor, you may want to consider staying with them.

chloe97

I'm in the same place as you. I drive by my doctors office everyday and it's a reminder of hearing that my baby had no heartbeat and having my D&C. H hates my OB and I was not super happy with our experience either . She was dismissive of our desire to see the heartbeat at 8 weeks and when we asked why we lost the baby she said "this just happens".

I actually had a doctor I loved that moved to another practice a year ago. I hate to have to travel 30 minutes to see my Dr when she used to be o be 5 minutes away, but what matters most is that my questions are being answered. So we are switching from to her.

FiancB

I was actually planning on switching clinics before my MMC but it made me change my mind. I was annoyed with the clinic because it's hard to get an appointment, a staff said something stupid, and a lot of times they're running very late. But my OB handled the MMC great- that was actually the first time I saw him, normally I just see a CNM. He listened to my concerns and is willing to check my progesterone levels later on when a lot of doctors aren't, and he will be doing my D&C. So now I'm a lot more likely to stick around. 

Still, I agree it's not going to be a great feeling to be back in the same room when it comes time for another u/s. 

silentP

Thanks for your input, all. There is something just not sitting well with me at the moment and I can't quite put my finger on it. Hoping to have more clarity after my appointment next week.

queenklau

silentP said:

That is a good point @BornReady. It's not as if I can avoid ultrasounds at another practice, etc. I feel well taken care of at my current practice, so I will probably stay. I was thankful he encouraged testing after two losses, instead of waiting for three. I have my follow up appointment next week, so I guess I can assess what I want to do from there. Thanks!

@silentP, please let us know what you find out at your follow-up appt. They should have the genetic testing back, right?

Oh and BTW, my ob/gyn knows my history and wants to make next pregnancy as smooth as possible, he had been wonderful so we are staying. He is very confident that we will have a full-term pregnancy next time around. However, he mentioned that in the chance it happens again that he would refer me to an RE/specialist.

MissPrint1219

I switched OBs after my first mc, but have stayed with the same practice for my 2nd & 3rd mc. One thing I appreciate is that, because they are familiar with me, they are much...calmer for lack of a better word..when I come in now. I appreciate that they mirror my level of enthusiasm and understand my cautiously optimistic attitude and desire for more frequent testing and ultrasounds. That said, I have requested a pre-conception consult with a maternal fetal medicine specialist who will work hand-in-hand with my regular OB when I get pregnant again.

silentP

Had my follow up after my D&C today. The testing didn't show anything abnormal with the baby. Coincidentally, my first period after the MC started today, so next month I will get blood work to determine if there is an issue with me. Then hopefully TTC again in February!

Overall, I felt okay being there and glad my doctor is being thorough. I got a little teary due to some pregnant women being there. But not much I can do about that!

Thanks for listening.

FireInWonderland

@silentP stay strong glad to hear you made it through okay. Good luck with your testing and keep us posted, in the meantime we are always here to listen.

Kurtni

I really like my OB, but his office majorly fucked up after my stillbirth. I found out the baby had died during an ultrasound, and went to my OBs practice immediately after. My doctor was on vacation for Thanksgiving, so I saw his colleague who examined me and helped schedule my induction at the hospital. I went in to be induced, gave birth and was told to schedule a post partum visit for 2 weeks. Somehow none of this was relayed to my doctor or his staff. I went in and they thought it was my 28 week prenatal appointment. My nurse asked if I was "sick of being pregnant yet" and about babys movements and I started sobbing before I could tell her my chart was clearly not updated.

I don't know how that happened. My OBs practice is part of the same system as the hospital I delivered at, they use the same computer system and his office is in a building connected to the hospital. I saw one of his colleagues the day I found out and another delivered my stillborn daughter. My stillbirth was caused by a cord accident, but what if it had been something that required further care and my doctor wasn't notified?

My OB was profusely apologetic and personally updated my chart, but I'm just angry this was even possible. During my pregnancy my OB was great, attentive, never rushed my visits or questions and he was very compassionate after my loss.

silentP

@Kurtni, that is horrific. I am so sorry you had to go through that. And I am so sorry for your loss. I know mistakes happen, but wow.

chloe97

@Kurtni I am so sorry that happened to you. I've had 2 very similar experiences. I swear that the nurse/medical assistants don't bother to read the charts. They just go through their checklists of questions with no thought to the feelings on the human beings that they are taking care of. Yesterday at my first post- D&C appt, the medical assistant asked me about my last period and what birth control I was on. Um, what? Then she asked about my living child, even though it clearly notes that I have had 2 pregnancies and 2 miscarriages.  

I saw my new/old OB/GYN who I had been with previously and then she switched practices. I found out that the OB/GYN that I had been going to was actually pulled up to do office visits from being a full-time hospitalist- meaning that she was only doing deliveries before. This explains why she wanted to spend like no time answering my questions, she wasn't used to dealing with women in an office setting. 

My new doctor spent 20 minutes talking to me and H today about pre-conception genetic counseling and told us that we were fine to start TTC after AF starts at the end of this month. I am beyond thrilled that we switched. 

MissPrint1219

@Kurtni - I am so sorry you had to go through that! I'm with @SilentP - just wow.

Kurtni

@silentP @MissPrint1219

Thank you. I still have to go back for a 6 week visit and hope things will go much more smoothly.

@chloe97 that is so frustrating. I understand they're busy but of all the times to rush through a chart...

WinchesterGirl

@silentP I hope you get some answers at your next appointment.

I think I am going to stay with my OB. I originally was not happy with picking this office, because we had a bad experience with one of their senior doctors when my SIL was pregnant. He was very rude and dismissive, so that kind of turned me off to them. He has retired now, however, so I gave it a shot and I am glad I did!

I have now met 3 of the 4 doctors in the office, and all have been extremely kind through this process. They did tests in a timely fashion and did three ultrasounds in three weeks, squeezing me in before the holidays each time.

The day we found out about the MC was actually the first time I met one of the doctors, and he was extremely considerate, and very kind - repeatedly telling me it was not my fault, and he explained all of my options, but told me there was no pressure to decide.

I think it will be hard to go back, but I think I feel very comfortable with these doctors now, and I think as PP said I would have unpleasant memories and anxiety at early ultrasounds no matter where they took place.

Kay6519

I had a miserable experience with my OB and certainly will not be returning to her. She was not willing to listen to any of my preferences or concerns. I had requested to have a natural birth and asked for use of their birthing pool. The OB was determined that she knew best and would constantly tell me that I needed an epidural and would need to be in the stirrups of I wanted any chance of a healthy baby.

I am much better educated now, and will certainly not be afraid to drop an OB who will not honor my wishes to find one who will. We are hoping with our next pregnancy to work with the birthing center recommended by my doula friend.

westcoastfoodie

I'm going to stick with my doctor. She is amazing and has such a nurturing demeanor. I feel like she's really on our side as we TTC and as we went through our past experience so as silly and cheesy as it sounds, I want her on our team. I hadn't even thought about switching.

cammlyn

Me and DH decided to move doctors. But my old on wouldn't even run test on me after our second one. I want someone who would fight for me. My very first appointment with my new doctor he prayed over us and then shook my husband's hand and said "I am going to do everything I can to give you a baby." And because of that we are very happy. We know we will have anxiety no matter where we are but we felt like we needed a change. That office has such bad memories for us now. 2 healthy u/s with beautiful heartbeats and 2 horrible ones with nothing but silence. We needed to put that behind us if we are ever going to find joy.

queenklau

silentP said:

Had my follow up after my D&C today. The testing didn't show anything abnormal with the baby. Coincidentally, my first period after the MC started today, so next month I will get blood work to determine if there is an issue with me. Then hopefully TTC again in February!

Overall, I felt okay being there and glad my doctor is being thorough. I got a little teary due to some pregnant women being there. But not much I can do about that!

Thanks for listening.

Hi @silentP , I am so glad the doctor is being throughout. Please keep us updated to the results. I am almost done with my blood work. So far everything is coming back normal (which was expected having an abnormal genetic test)-i.e thyroid, blood clotting, karyotyope and FSH. I still waiting for the progesterone results (CD21 draw). I had to drag my husband to get the blood work for his karyotyope. He did it yesterday. Hopefully we get all our results by the first month and ttc prepared as best as possible For 2016.

penelope4612

I'm staying with my doctor.  I like her a lot.  She was also unfortunately away when I was going through having an ectopic diagnosed and treated and I dealt with her covering co-workers who were also great.  They really kept on top of me about the pregnancy possibly being ectopic, even though I didn't want to believe it, and kept offering me different treatment options and letting me pick what I was most comfortable with.  Because they were on top of it, I was diagnosed early, my tube didn't rupture and I didn't end up needing surgery (of course, some of this is also probably luck, but I can see another doctor just ignoring the bleeding I was having and not serially testing HCGs).  And, although I'm frustrated at still being benched while getting my new diagnosis of "subclinical hypothyroidism" sorted out, I am somewhat pleased that my OB has decided to go ahead and treat it due to the possibility of it contributing to miscarriages (where as my PCP just said "oh we'll just watch it").

I have to agree with the office staff thing though.  When I went in to get an ultrasound and had to explain to the tech that I was in the middle of miscarrying and possibly had an ectopic, that was really frustrating.  Can't they tell why the doctor ordered the ultrasound?  Also, when I had call to make a follow up appointment with my OB, they were like "for what?".  I know the receptionist has no reason to know I had an ectopic pregnancy, but it sucks to have to say it over and over.

silentP

Hi @silentP , I am so glad the doctor is being throughout. Please keep us updated to the results. I am almost done with my blood work. So far everything is coming back normal (which was expected having an abnormal genetic test)-i.e thyroid, blood clotting, karyotyope and FSH.


@klauerinaking crossing everything for you as you try again!