Weekly check-in 12/6 — The Bump
Parenting after 35

Weekly check-in 12/6

mindaamindaa member
edited December 2015 in Parenting after 35
How was your week? 

QOTW: what about parenting has surprised you the most?
Me-37, DH-38
Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

Re: Weekly check-in 12/6

  • Good week. Baby is on a sleep schedule!!!! Worked itself out easily. :)

    It surprised me that once a parent always a parent. I'd be devastated not to have a child. This makes me think one & done while good & actually smart for many reasons isn't the best idea for everyone.

    I'm surprised that a supportive partner is essential.

    I'm surprised how judgmental people are about everything to do with kids. Names, breastfeeding, preschool, co-sleeping, etc. Maybe this is expounded online. :)
    marijaa333
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  • Tough week here! It's my first time away from baby overnight: I've had to take a 4-day/5-bedtimes business trip. 

    I'm surprised that I'm SO upset to be far from the kiddo. I read a quote somewhere that I now understand very well: "Having a child is like having your heart live outside of your body."  <3
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  • Ohhh! (((Hugs))) I'm sorry!
    marijaa333
  • @marijaa333, so sorry - hope the time goes fast! 
    I used to have regular international business travel and I often miss that and get jealous of all of DH's travel. But I know that in reality, it would be painful to be away and I wouldn't really enjoy the trip.

    DH has been out of town for the last week, so it's been hectic being solely responsible for daycare pickup and drop off. LO is still sleeping terribly and we're struggling with what to do, starting with where. He just outgrew the bassinet of the PnP in our room. So that leaves three options - PnP lower section, crib in nursery or our bed. With DH gone it works great to have him in bed with me, but not what we want to encourage long term. Particularly since we'll be out of town for Christmas, and will have to use the PnP. 

    So I guess what surprises me is that we're only six months in and we're already just so confused and overwhelmed by how to deal with this. I'm already dreading the toddler years! I've read books and talked to people but haven't figured out how to encourage better sleep...  if we should be doing something now or wait a little longer. I think it's just a surprise because we're older and educated and used to problem solving in other areas of our life, but this one feels so daunting. I'm also surprised by how draining things have been our our marriage. DH and I were so close and I really miss him (even when he's physically present, it's just not the same). 

    Whew, sorry for that DD dump!
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    marijaa333
  • Thank you @baby'smom and @midaa!  @mindaa, while i've been away, LO has been doing CIO by himself (dad holds him but he just wails until he falls asleep). As a result, he has gone from waking every 2-3 hours, to sleeping 5.5 hours in a row! So while i would never advocate CIO, perhaps there is some kind of sleep training that could work for you.
  • mindaamindaa member
    edited December 2015
    Thanks, @marijaa333, I always appreciate those success stories. I'm not totally opposed to some CIO, we've actually tried it a couple times in the last month. Most recently, I held out for an hour, it was pretty bad. So I don't think we'll be doing that again until he's readjusted after Christmas travel. I also got the Sleep Lady book to read, hopefully that will have some tips.
    One challenge is that he actually seems genuinely hungry- he'll nurse for real each time he wakes. So I've kinda resigned myself to the fact that we may just have to accept that he still needs that extra nourishment and wait patiently until he's more ready. I think on some level I'm also overwhelmed by the "information overload" on what we should and shouldn't do and how. 

    ETA, of course I didn't actually leave LO crying & alone in his crib for an hour. He was still in our our room, with frequent soothing. Just left out all the details for conciseness.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    marijaa333
  • edited December 2015
    You're at the best stage for sleep training. Make sure you've got a video monitor. Then you won't be enticed to go in & mess up the cycle. 1 hour is way too long!! We followed the steps at "precious little sleep" web site for our older child. We had to cry it out but it was gentle. Very little crying! And it only took 2 days. We kept going in just follow those instructions. Never left to cry more than 5 min then 7 then 10 min. https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com

    I used baby wise for sleep training also but I dont agree with all of it.

    Find out if he's on a wonder week. They don't sleep so great during those periods. https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/wonder-weeks-chart-baby-toddler-sleep/ I wouldn't sleep train during these periods.

    I know we'll have a sleep regression but currently our FORMULA fed 7 week old sleeps from 8-9 to 4. Then we get up for the day 7-8. Does formula make the difference? Eats every 2 hours throughout day.

    Until 13 mos our older ate every morning at 4 & went back to bed til 7. Genuinely hungry. At 13 mos we were completely done with bottle. Then after that for about 1-2 mos would occasionally wake & we'd give a small glass of milk & back to bed. By 15 mos slept all night through.

    ETA: I am totally there with you about my marriage. I love my life but I miss my marriage & my husband. Even if we had time for a date night we'd probably have nothing to talk about anymore. Kids are all consuming!
  • marijaa333marijaa333 member
    edited December 2015
    @mindaa mine definitely woke because of hunger too. And with time the sleep periods lengthened. He does at least one five-hour stretch now, unless he's sick with a cold. I agree about CIO...
    mindaa
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