@NOLA520 there's no real line. But what you can afford and what you think is important; the line is only crossed when moms get all crazy on each other for someone doing something differently. I'm not into material things so I'll get what I need for my little girl but she certainly won't be getting her wipes warmed and her $10 stroller is just as good, for me, as one that costs 10x as much. This works for me, because money is going to get tight but I don't begrudge the people who do want those things.
Wait, you can get a wet wipe warmer? Is that an actual thing???
@NOLA520 there's no real line. But what you can afford and what you think is important; the line is only crossed when moms get all crazy on each other for someone doing something differently. I'm not into material things so I'll get what I need for my little girl but she certainly won't be getting her wipes warmed and her $10 stroller is just as good, for me, as one that costs 10x as much. This works for me, because money is going to get tight but I don't begrudge the people who do want those things.
Wait, you can get a wet wipe warmer? Is that an actual thing???
My friend told me babies hate cold butt wipes so I should get one.... I don't know if that's true....
I don't get why kids having their own room is even a debate. I mean, if you have the space, why not give it to the kid? I have 2 spare bedrooms and zero kids right now, so what I should make the first born live in a closet or something? I'm honestly confused. I don't ever plan to have more kids than rooms in my house so I don't understand why that seems crazy for them to have their own rooms.
This issue is more that some people feel kids NEED their own rooms, and others don't feel that way. This is my first LO and I live in a 3-bedroom house; she will obviously have her own room after she leaves our room. However, if I have three children I don't need a 4-bedroom house because I'm ok with my children sharing rooms. Others may disagree and feel that a child needs his or her own space.
Yeah I don't agree with people having that many kids, so that's probably my UO and will probably just piss everyone off. I feel like 3 is a lot, 4 is pushing it and anything beyond that is insane.
@RoseShadow873 I have never in my life seen or heard of a wiper warmer. It seems like yet another one of those gadgets that are totally pointless. How hard is it to hold a wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it?
Yeah I don't agree with people having that many kids, so that's probably my UO and will probably just piss everyone off. I feel like 3 is a lot, 4 is pushing it and anything beyond that is insane.
What's to agree with here, exactly?
This will be baby #4 for DH. He had 3 with his ex and this is our first (and likely only) together.
I'm getting a little bit confused by the people calling Elf of the shelf creepy. How does it work in the states? Mind you, we did not celebrate Christmas when I was a child, but the kindergarten I went to had a "loft elf" called a Nisse who was able to make himself invisible and he'd hide the chairs or make the milk turn blue if we forgot to put him a Danish Christmas snack called ginger nuts. The kids were usually a little scared of him so none of us would try to look for him. Once a day he'd hide a gift somewhere and we'd take turns looking for our gifts. I loved it as a child and I'm planning to do it with DS
We have an Elf on the Shelf for my DD. She's 8 and loves it. It's fun for her and we use it to reinforce positive behavior more than tricking her into behaving. My DD is pretty well behaved, excels in school, etc. My dad had an elf from the 60s when he was a kid and gave it to my daughter. It looks just like the Elf on the Shelf. I swear the creator had to be a kid from the 60s. So we don't think he's "creepy looking."
I think Mommy wars are bogus. So what if you choose jarred baby food, homemade, or organic, cloth diapering or disposables, choosing various sleep methods, nursery or no nursery, etc., Everyone's going to have an opinion on it. You do what's best for you and your kids, and if your kids are taken care of, that's all that matters.
You clearly have not met my SIL. She is great at making you feel like crap about your life without even trying. I know she doesn't intentionally do it, but if you don't thing her way is the right way she punch it down your throat so you can choke on it.
@NOLA520 there's no real line. But what you can afford and what you think is important; the line is only crossed when moms get all crazy on each other for someone doing something differently. I'm not into material things so I'll get what I need for my little girl but she certainly won't be getting her wipes warmed and her $10 stroller is just as good, for me, as one that costs 10x as much. This works for me, because money is going to get tight but I don't begrudge the people who do want those things.
Wait, you can get a wet wipe warmer? Is that an actual thing???
My friend told me babies hate cold butt wipes so I should get one.... I don't know if that's true....
I think a wipe warmer is pointless. I've never used one. My mom always said to rub it between your hands for a few seconds to warm it up if need be. I changed my daughter using cold wet wipes all the time. I think she was happy to just have a clean diaper.
Yeah I don't agree with people having that many kids, so that's probably my UO and will probably just piss everyone off. I feel like 3 is a lot, 4 is pushing it and anything beyond that is insane.
What's to agree with here, exactly?
This will be baby #4 for DH. He had 3 with his ex and this is our first (and likely only) together.
---edit: QBF---- Ditto ditto ditto. DH has 3 ages 14, 13, and 10; this is our first together. Except I plan to have at least four of my own since his kids primarily stay with their mother. I love big families and will provide for my children everything they need. I don't see why my children (and number that I bring forth into the world) is anyone's business so long as I'm the one providing for them. My uterus, my business.
My family does big families, so this is normal for me. I'm one of six; my eldest sister has 5, the third has 5, and the fourth has 4. The second sister and only brother haven't started having children yet. Frankly, when people make comments about things along the lines of "that's too many," I take the same road as my parents; which ones should be sent back? Which children should the parents not love because there are just too many of them? Every single one of my nieces and nephews are special, loved, and cared for.
@AmadorRose haha I come from a gigantic family as well. I'm the eldest of 5, and both my mom and dad have 9 siblings each. DH was an only child and he's continually surprised at how much love and affection my parents have for us compared to his own parents. His were very distant and he's never really been hugged or kissed. As long as you're able to provide for them and love them it doesn't really matter how many you decide to have. There is no right or wrong amount of children
Well, many people who take that stance about big families do so because having a ton of kids isn't a choice that only affects you and your life; population booms affect literally everyone, and we already struggle to reduce the impact our current population has on our planet. It's the same logic that people who vehemently oppose SUVs use: you are using a greater portion of finite resources, thereby taking away from everyone else. And the more people who do the same as you, the more stressed those resources are going to get, leading to a point at which something has to give, or everyone is in trouble.
I personally DGAF how many kids people have if they're being cared for, but I can't say I don't see the other side's point, too. They have, you know, decades of scientific research about the impact our growing population has (SLASH will have) on the planet and the "pro big families" side basically has "I do what I want" on theirs.
See, that's a legit concern. PP didn't give any reasoning, just a generic statement. I was hoping she'd come back and clarify.
Personally, I'm happy for large families when the parents can and do support all of the kids, financially and emotionally. I do have issues when a family keeps having kids and receives public assistance, or if the kids aren't being parented. Shows like 19 Kids and Counting rub me the wrong way because the parents rely on the older children to essentially be parents to the younger children. But there's a huge difference between 4, 5, 6 kids and nearly 20.
Maybe it's selfish, but if people want the government out of their vaginas when they choose abortion they should stay out of my vagina if and when my children become "too much" despite DH and me being their providers. Also, there are mothers (on this board, in fact) with many children because they've adopted some of them. For the record, I don't care what other women do with their bodies: abortion, stripping, whatever, so long as they're making informed decisions. I also stared at the first sentence for 5 full minutes trying to make it sound less bitchy but I just don't have that kind of grasp on the English language today.
So I am not sure whether this is the right discussion for my story but here it is. it was my 17th week appointment and my gyno is asking how am I doing. I told her I am ok but I wonder when the moods swings going to go away. She than asks me : are you irretable? Me: yeah ( i am generally agressive and easy irretated person, nationality I guess). she: r u sad? me: sad?? i have mood swings. she: do you wanna hurt yourself? me: God no! she: could be a depression. usually we treat it with pills and conseling. WHAT WAS THAT? excuse me but first of all, without proper consultation and professional diagnoses ( not by gyno!) you can't tell me that and already inform me about possible course of treatment. secondly I told you I am not depressed( i did few times after she told me I am). my question was relative to hormonal inbalance mostly. it is like she did not hear me at all! honestly I was thinking to switch the doctor, lets just say her opinion was veeeery unpopular with me. Does anybody else have a problem with doctors/ people make wild assumptions not listening for what you have to say?
I seriously dislike summer..it's good for a month or so and then I want it be over. I just feel like there's only so much you can do and I can't stand the heat!
So I am not sure whether this is the right discussion for my story but here it is. it was my 17th week appointment and my gyno is asking how am I doing. I told her I am ok but I wonder when the moods swings going to go away. She than asks me : are you irretable? Me: yeah ( i am generally agressive and easy irretated person, nationality I guess). she: r u sad? me: sad?? i have mood swings. she: do you wanna hurt yourself? me: God no! she: could be a depression. usually we treat it with pills and conseling. WHAT WAS THAT? excuse me but first of all, without proper consultation and professional diagnoses ( not by gyno!) you can't tell me that and already inform me about possible course of treatment. secondly I told you I am not depressed( i did few times after she told me I am). my question was relative to hormonal inbalance mostly. it is like she did not hear me at all! honestly I was thinking to switch the doctor, lets just say her opinion was veeeery unpopular with me. Does anybody else have a problem with doctors/ people make wild assumptions not listening for what you have to say?
I think your doc overstepped her boundaries, but I will say depression in pregnancy is a very real thing. If you don't need the pills, don't take them. And look into finding an OBGYNwho will listen to you, because that attitude could lead to her ignoring you in other aspects that you may not be able to control...like childbirth.
So I am not sure whether this is the right discussion for my story but here it is. it was my 17th week appointment and my gyno is asking how am I doing. I told her I am ok but I wonder when the moods swings going to go away. She than asks me : are you irretable? Me: yeah ( i am generally agressive and easy irretated person, nationality I guess). she: r u sad? me: sad?? i have mood swings. she: do you wanna hurt yourself? me: God no! she: could be a depression. usually we treat it with pills and conseling. WHAT WAS THAT? excuse me but first of all, without proper consultation and professional diagnoses ( not by gyno!) you can't tell me that and already inform me about possible course of treatment. secondly I told you I am not depressed( i did few times after she told me I am). my question was relative to hormonal inbalance mostly. it is like she did not hear me at all! honestly I was thinking to switch the doctor, lets just say her opinion was veeeery unpopular with me. Does anybody else have a problem with doctors/ people make wild assumptions not listening for what you have to say?
Yes. Man I'm glad I don't have that doctor anymore. She was such a pill-pushing hag.
If you don't feel like your doctor is listening to you, there's really no reason not to find another one.
my husband is telling me to go back to the one who delivered my son but hospital is so much further away! I dunno, maybe I should go to another one at the same facility or something. I guess I will go in for the ultrasound in two weeks and if she will be the same way I will do the switch. thanks, I thought I might be just paranoid, it bugs me two weeks after still!
@NOLA520, agreed that there's no bright line or easy answer to what constitutes "well cared for". Obviously keeping them fed, clothed, and housed should be a minimum requirement, but even there, standards vary widely.
I seriously dislike summer..it's good for a month or so and then I want it be over. I just feel like there's only so much you can do and I can't stand the heat!
thank you for saying that! I HATE summer. I really do. Unfortunately I got married (not the unfortunate part) and moved to Virginia (unfortunate part), and now my summer starts in April and ends in November ((((( Spiders, weird giant bees and wasps are alive for 9 month a year at least. Hate them. I think they now too.
Yeah I don't agree with people having that many kids, so that's probably my UO and will probably just piss everyone off. I feel like 3 is a lot, 4 is pushing it and anything beyond that is insane.
I'm curious why you think 3 or 4 kids is "a lot" and 5+ is insane? Is this a cultural/regional thing?
Of the families that I know, the happiest are the ones with a lot of kids (4+). The most stressed out parents are the ones with 1 or 2 kids. Weird, but it's just something I've observed. Maybe because having more than 2 kids makes you realize it's useless to stress out over little things? Who knows.
I'm one of those where 2 of my 4 children are adopted. We plan to adopt another one after this baby if it works out. We have the space and the finances to afford a lot of kids. Plus, each of my kids loves each other so much, it's so sweet to watch. I can't imagine life without any of them. I'd be super annoyed to realize that someone was judging my family because of how many kids I have, without even knowing me.
My UO: My husband and I are minimalists and are very turned off by the mass consumerism in this country/world. We live in a 600 sq ft house and will continue to do so even after baby comes. I do not understand why people spend so much on big houses that they then have to work all the time to afford and spend lots of time and money filling with stuff and cleaning. I am so sick of hearing how "Babies come with a lot of stuff". The way we raise children with a lot of stuff is a very modern and western concept. My baby will be warm, fed and safe. Because we live a simple lifestyle we spend less time working and will have more time with the family which I think is much better for our child. I grew up extremely poor and am prepared to offer my l child some of the benefits I think I received because of my childhood (more value on experiences, hard work and less materialism) while also being able to offer a security I never had due to poverty.
Yes I said that about big families because of overpopulation and humans using too many resources and ruining the world in general. It is knowing there are large families out there that made me decide not to have any children. I obviously changed my mind and decided to have one still, but part of me feels so guilty about it. I have major human guilt for just existing myself. I don't think having a bunch of kids is helping the world, and obviously I am not talking about adopted kids. I think adoption is a good option for people that want a big family but to not add more people to the planet. I would definitely consider adopting in the future if I want more kids.
Yes I said that about big families because of overpopulation and humans using too many resources and ruining the world in general. It is knowing there are large families out there that made me decide not to have any children. I obviously changed my mind and decided to have one still, but part of me feels so guilty about it. I have major human guilt for just existing myself. I don't think having a bunch of kids is helping the world, and obviously I am not talking about adopted kids. I think adoption is a good option for people that want a big family but to not add more people to the planet. I would definitely consider adopting in the future if I want more kids.
I also feel a little guilt knowing there are so many kids out there that need families and the world doesn't really need any more babies. This is why we are only having one biological child and feel a little bad about even that.
@RoseShadow873 I have never in my life seen or heard of a wiper warmer. It seems like yet another one of those gadgets that are totally pointless. How hard is it to hold a wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it?
@elasticheart13 I used to work at a daycare in the toddler and infant room, which was my favorite job ever. You could always tell the kids that had a wipe warmer at home because they'd tense their little tushes and freak out at the room temperature wipes. It made our jobs a bit more difficult, but was still pretty cute I must admit. There was one little girl that just absolutely wouldn't tolerate the normal wipes because she was so used to the ones at home. I started running the wipes (in a ziploc bag) under warm water for a couple seconds before I'd change her, and problem solved. 0 dollars spent. ;-)
@RoseShadow873 I have never in my life seen or heard of a wiper warmer. It seems like yet another one of those gadgets that are totally pointless. How hard is it to hold a wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it?
@elasticheart13 I used to work at a daycare in the toddler and infant room, which was my favorite job ever. You could always tell the kids that had a wipe warmer at home because they'd tense their little tushes and freak out at the room temperature wipes. It made our jobs a bit more difficult, but was still pretty cute I must admit. There was one little girl that just absolutely wouldn't tolerate the normal wipes because she was so used to the ones at home. I started running the wipes (in a ziploc bag) under warm water for a couple seconds before I'd change her, and problem solved. 0 dollars spent. ;-)
How does this work if you're away from home and at a rest stop or something? Doesn't this make your life more difficult?
@RoseShadow873 I have never in my life seen or heard of a wiper warmer. It seems like yet another one of those gadgets that are totally pointless. How hard is it to hold a wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it?
@elasticheart13 I used to work at a daycare in the toddler and infant room, which was my favorite job ever. You could always tell the kids that had a wipe warmer at home because they'd tense their little tushes and freak out at the room temperature wipes. It made our jobs a bit more difficult, but was still pretty cute I must admit. There was one little girl that just absolutely wouldn't tolerate the normal wipes because she was so used to the ones at home. I started running the wipes (in a ziploc bag) under warm water for a couple seconds before I'd change her, and problem solved. 0 dollars spent. ;-)
Haha cute, I too worked with toddlers and infants in a daycare and honestly we never used wet wipes. It was disposable foam cloths and normal water from the sink, and that is what I am planning to do as well. If I'm on the run my LO will just have to live with a non-heated wet wipe
I grew up with big families on both sides. My mom's parents had four kids biologically. One has four kids, one has 3, another has 6, and the last one hasnt started having kids yet. My dad's parents had four as well but only my dad was biological. The other 3 were adopted. Between my parents divorce and both being remarried I am the middle child of 9 total. So growing up I always knew I wanted a BIG family and lots of kids. After getting pregnant with this LO my DH and I talked about more kids vs. being done. The over population in the world, amount of children in the world already in need of homes, etc was deeply discussed. For us personally, we thought it was better to be done after this LO and become foster parents. Our hope is to help those children already in need and bring them into our family as another child of ours. Then I can still have my big family and I dont feel like I'm making the future generation (our children's generation) have to worry more about over population and limited resources. But I also know that choice is not for everyone, and I firmly believe that everyone has the right to choose what is best for their family.
I ALSO HATE SUMMER!!! With a passion! Poor DH wants to move to Florida and that will never happen because I cant stand the heat!
My UO: I dont like pork. The only pork I can handle is sausage links and bacon and I REALLY have to be in the mood for it and even then will only eat one piece.
My UO: My husband and I are minimalists and are very turned off by the mass consumerism in this country/world. We live in a 600 sq ft house and will continue to do so even after baby comes. I do not understand why people spend so much on big houses that they then have to work all the time to afford and spend lots of time and money filling with stuff and cleaning. I am so sick of hearing how "Babies come with a lot of stuff". The way we raise children with a lot of stuff is a very modern and western concept. My baby will be warm, fed and safe. Because we live a simple lifestyle we spend less time working and will have more time with the family which I think is much better for our child. I grew up extremely poor and am prepared to offer my l child some of the benefits I think I received because of my childhood (more value on experiences, hard work and less materialism) while also being able to offer a security I never had due to poverty.
I agree with you. I grew up in Ukraine, my parents still live there. most people aren't wealthy, economy is not based on credit system. 3 generations of people can live in one appartment at the same time ( at least they owe it). Yet people continue to have babies and everybody is happy. Babies are healthy although they do not have a separate room sometimes.
I seriously dislike summer..it's good for a month or so and then I want it be over. I just feel like there's only so much you can do and I can't stand the heat!
thank you for saying that! I HATE summer. I really do. Unfortunately I got married (not the unfortunate part) and moved to Virginia (unfortunate part), and now my summer starts in April and ends in November ((((( Spiders, weird giant bees and wasps are alive for 9 month a year at least. Hate them. I think they now too.
Which part of Virginia? That's originally where I'm from but DH is in the Army and we are stationed in NC. The spiders are way worse here. When we first moved into our house we came home to 5 wolf spiders on our carpet. No thanks. Needless to say we sprayed the next day and adopted a cat.
@AmadorRose they sell travel wipe warmers, I was gifted one for my shower with DS. It was returned so I can't comment on how well it worked.
When DD was born in 2013 there was a huge issue with wipe warms because they could grow bacteria. Our pediatrician was against them so we returned the one we had.
Which part of Virginia? That's originally where I'm from but DH is in the Army and we are stationed in NC. The spiders are way worse here. When we first moved into our house we came home to 5 wolf spiders on our carpet. No thanks. Needless to say we sprayed the next day and adopted a cat.
we live in Richmond. where are you from? I came here from Toronto, so not used to insects like that. especially when I saw praying mantis flying towards my husband in laundry room. life will never be the same.
Which part of Virginia? That's originally where I'm from but DH is in the Army and we are stationed in NC. The spiders are way worse here. When we first moved into our house we came home to 5 wolf spiders on our carpet. No thanks. Needless to say we sprayed the next day and adopted a cat.
we live in Richmond. where are you from? I came here from Toronto, so not used to insects like that. especially when I saw praying mantis flying towards my husband in laundry room. life will never be the same.
I'm from Franklin County, VA. About and hour in a half from Richmond if I'm not mistaken. Moon shine capital of the world lol!
Which part of Virginia? That's originally where I'm from but DH is in the Army and we are stationed in NC. The spiders are way worse here. When we first moved into our house we came home to 5 wolf spiders on our carpet. No thanks. Needless to say we sprayed the next day and adopted a cat.
just looked up wolf spider. kind of wish I didn't. yeah, I am messing up my quotes alright too.
@AnyaZM I'm terrified of spiders. I don't even think terrified explains me. But yes, imagine coming home to 5 of those in your living room. They can be aggressive spiders as well and chase after you. We're on the base here in NC and instead of dirt we have sand so I think they like that more and because it stays hotter here longer we have more. It sucks.
Re: Opinions that are Unpopular
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
This will be baby #4 for DH. He had 3 with his ex and this is our first (and likely only) together.
This will be baby #4 for DH. He had 3 with his ex and this is our first (and likely only) together.
---edit: QBF----
Ditto ditto ditto. DH has 3 ages 14, 13, and 10; this is our first together. Except I plan to have at least four of my own since his kids primarily stay with their mother. I love big families and will provide for my children everything they need. I don't see why my children (and number that I bring forth into the world) is anyone's business so long as I'm the one providing for them. My uterus, my business.
My family does big families, so this is normal for me. I'm one of six; my eldest sister has 5, the third has 5, and the fourth has 4. The second sister and only brother haven't started having children yet. Frankly, when people make comments about things along the lines of "that's too many," I take the same road as my parents; which ones should be sent back? Which children should the parents not love because there are just too many of them? Every single one of my nieces and nephews are special, loved, and cared for.
Personally, I'm happy for large families when the parents can and do support all of the kids, financially and emotionally. I do have issues when a family keeps having kids and receives public assistance, or if the kids aren't being parented. Shows like 19 Kids and Counting rub me the wrong way because the parents rely on the older children to essentially be parents to the younger children. But there's a huge difference between 4, 5, 6 kids and nearly 20.
For the record, I don't care what other women do with their bodies: abortion, stripping, whatever, so long as they're making informed decisions. I also stared at the first sentence for 5 full minutes trying to make it sound less bitchy but I just don't have that kind of grasp on the English language today.
WHAT WAS THAT? excuse me but first of all, without proper consultation and professional diagnoses ( not by gyno!) you can't tell me that and already inform me about possible course of treatment. secondly I told you I am not depressed( i did few times after she told me I am). my question was relative to hormonal inbalance mostly. it is like she did not hear me at all! honestly I was thinking to switch the doctor, lets just say her opinion was veeeery unpopular with me. Does anybody else have a problem with doctors/ people make wild assumptions not listening for what you have to say?
my husband is telling me to go back to the one who delivered my son but hospital is so much further away! I dunno, maybe I should go to another one at the same facility or something. I guess I will go in for the ultrasound in two weeks and if she will be the same way I will do the switch. thanks, I thought I might be just paranoid, it bugs me two weeks after still!
How does this work if you're away from home and at a rest stop or something? Doesn't this make your life more difficult?
Edit because it posted halfway through.
I ALSO HATE SUMMER!!! With a passion! Poor DH wants to move to Florida and that will never happen because I cant stand the heat!
My UO: I dont like pork. The only pork I can handle is sausage links and bacon and I REALLY have to be in the mood for it and even then will only eat one piece.
Which part of Virginia? That's originally where I'm from but DH is in the Army and we are stationed in NC. The spiders are way worse here. When we first moved into our house we came home to 5 wolf spiders on our carpet. No thanks. Needless to say we sprayed the next day and adopted a cat.
@AnyaZM
Edit: messed up my quote
@AnyaZM I'm terrified of spiders. I don't even think terrified explains me. But yes, imagine coming home to 5 of those in your living room. They can be aggressive spiders as well and chase after you. We're on the base here in NC and instead of dirt we have sand so I think they like that more and because it stays hotter here longer we have more. It sucks.