Babies everywhere?!?!

lilylover27

Hi All,

Just need to vent and know this is a safe to do so and hopefully some of you feel the same and we can vent together!

I am seriously considering giving up social media until after the holiday season, I feel like everywhere I turn there is a new pregnancy announcement or a brand new cute as can be baby born on fb! I am happy for all my friends and their families but still bumming at the same time. I know DH and I have only been TTC since September, so not long at all, but still at the same time it really bums me out to see everyone else getting pregnant. I explain it to DH all the time and he gets it but I honestly don't think he understands how much it can get to you, anyone else feel this way? I have taken up numerous hobbies to try and take my mind off it such as knitting, yoga and even coloring! Unfortunately though it is a gnawing thought at the back of my mind constantly! Also doesn't help that my SIL is expecting her second as well!

Just needed to vent and find some support from others who are feeling this way as well!

Knottie1442268460

Wise choice to take a break from social media.

igrokthat

I agree, sounds like a Facebook hiatus is in order. You can also go through and unfollow select friends without unfriending them.

I find that I have the opposite reaction, TBH, but I think I'm the minority. I'm over here like "Post MORE baby pictures! I want to live VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOUUU."

We are benched through spring, though, so it could have something to do with that.

Xstatic3333

I think social media breaks are always a good idea! I gave it up for lent a few years ago and didn't even miss it after a couple of days. Do what you need to take care of yourself.

picklesplease

DH and I started trying recently, too. I agree with everyone else here. You do what you feel you need to do to take care of yourself. 

All of my friends on FB have started posting pictures of their adorable 1-year-olds. It sucks, but I just started hiding those friends until I'm in a better place. It's what I have to do to stay sane and stop comparing myself to everyone else. 

Take care. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. 

lilylover27

Thank you everyone for the positive vibes! It really does help! I think it is the right call too just to take a break for a while.

It is my personality that is getting the best of me. I am the type to always prepare and once I am prepared I want everything to happen all at once, but this will have to happen in it's own time.

Xstatic3333

lilylover27 said:

Thank you everyone for the positive vibes! It really does help! I think it is the right call too just to take a break for a while.

It is my personality that is getting the best of me. I am the type to always prepare and once I am prepared I want everything to happen all at once, but this will have to happen in it's own time.

I definitely think that for many/most of us, TTC is the first time in our adult lives where we have such little control over a major life change.  I haven't started yet, but I know that the not knowing is going to be a challenge for me, too.  

lilylover27

@xstatic3333 that is exactly what it is the not knowing. Prior to trying I never felt in a rush to have kids, but now that we are TTC I feel like I am in such a rush! It is what it is that's what I always say! Well when you are TTC I wish you the best of luck!

Xstatic3333

lilylover27 said:

@xstatic3333 that is exactly what it is the not knowing. Prior to trying I never felt in a rush to have kids, but now that we are TTC I feel like I am in such a rush! It is what it is that's what I always say! Well when you are TTC I wish you the best of luck!

Aw thanks!  Getting pretty anxious to accelerate our timeline.  May bring it up to H this week (we were waiting until March based on mutual agreement, not for one of us in particular).

lilylover27

Xstatic3333 said:

lilylover27 said:

@xstatic3333 that is exactly what it is the not knowing. Prior to trying I never felt in a rush to have kids, but now that we are TTC I feel like I am in such a rush! It is what it is that's what I always say! Well when you are TTC I wish you the best of luck!

Aw thanks!  Getting pretty anxious to accelerate our timeline.  May bring it up to H this week (we were waiting until March based on mutual agreement, not for one of us in particular).

Yea we actually moved up our timeline from when we originally were going to as well! I feel like there is just a day and  you're like lets just go for it! We are also taking it pretty easy right now with timing and etc. because we don't want to stress out even more around the holidays, but after those are over I will go back to my neurotic ways and chart every little thing!

musicinmysoul17

I totally know how you feel! Been feeling the same way, especially this week because one of my really good friends from college just announced she's 2 months PG and been married 3 months. DH and I have been married over 2 years and were NTNP for 1 1/2 years and now are seriously trying. How can it happen so fast for some?!?!?!?! UGH!!! It doesn't help that I'm not terribly fond of her H and she basically dropped off the face of the earth since she started dating him and they rushed (IMO) their whole relationship... Sorry for the rant, but I needed to vent too.

I also totally get DH not totally getting how we feel about this whole TTC thing. I tell DH everything but with TTC he knows when I get upset but doesn't get how much I can get upset or why I do get so upset sometimes. Heck, I don't even know why I get SO upset sometimes lol.

lilylover27

@becbec28 that is always the hardest when you see some get PG so quickly and your just like hey wait a second! I know everyone is different but there is always that thought that you would be the one who gets it on the first shot! We actually waited so long after getting married to TTC because we were afraid that would happen and we were not ready at that time, now I kind of wish we started earlier! And don't worry about the ranting it is what we all need to do!

The thing is too I can tell my DH is kind of down about it not happening right away. He is 5 years older than me and always says he wants to be able to run around with his kids lol I mean he still has time but it would be nice if it were soon. Since he is down about it I always second guess bringing up any new PG announcements I see because I know he will get down about it too and what good does that do to have us both down!

Another thing is we are not telling anyone we are TTC and that is hard but I want to keep it that way because I don't want the pressure, but also at the same time it would be nice for someone close to know to vent to. At least I have these boards, they really help me get through the TTC blues!

musicinmysoul17

musicinmysoul17

@lilylover27

My DH is 5 years older than me too! And we haven't told anyone we're TTC either because 1) I also don't want extra pressure from people asking and dropping "hints" more than they already do (my FIL, love him to pieces but I swear every time I see him he says something about us having a baby and I see him 2-3x a week or more) and 2) I want it to be special when we announce it! I said something in passing to a good friend because she just had a baby and that's been it.  

*******************TW- LOSS MENTIONED****************

Then I'm stuck in an interesting situation because my SIL (I'm very close with my in-law family) has lost 2 babies, one full term and it hit the whole family very hard. Now she wants to adopt and I'm totally all for that! But they are not in a situation that would make it possible to be considered for adoption for a while and they're moving into a new place and she already has a baby room set up! The whole family is so Woohoo about it when it'll still be a while and I'm just over here like "I really hope this is my month". Makes it very hard to not say anything and not get upset because no one knows we're trying. I just feel so alone sometimes....

Xstatic3333

becbec28 said:

@lilylover27

My DH is 5 years older than me too! And we haven't told anyone we're TTC either because 1) I also don't want extra pressure from people asking and dropping "hints" more than they already do (my FIL, love him to pieces but I swear every time I see him he says something about us having a baby and I see him 2-3x a week or more) and 2) I want it to be special when we announce it! I said something in passing to a good friend because she just had a baby and that's been it.  

*******************TW- LOSS MENTIONED****************

Then I'm stuck in an interesting situation because my SIL (I'm very close with my in-law family) has lost 2 babies, one full term and it hit the whole family very hard. Now she wants to adopt and I'm totally all for that! But they are not in a situation that would make it possible to be considered for adoption for a while and they're moving into a new place and she already has a baby room set up! The whole family is so Woohoo about it when it'll still be a while and I'm just over here like "I really hope this is my month". Makes it very hard to not say anything and not get upset because no one knows we're trying. I just feel so alone sometimes....

Aw, you're kind to be sensitive to your SIL. Even if it's hard, that's the right thing to do. If she's open about her adoption journey she may enjoy questions and chatting about it from time to time. My friend who is in the process is very open, although I know every family is different with what they feel comfortable sharing.

Sirius37

@becbec28 - I understand exactly what you mean. A friend of mine announced her pregnancy a few weeks ago, but just recently mentioned to me how she "went off BCP at the beginning of July, and then I was pregnant by the end of month! It was like I just sneezed and got pregnant!" I'm really happy for her - truly, she's always wanted to be a mom - but it makes me even more anxious. Like @Xstatic3333 said, the not knowing is what is killing me. Will it take DH and I one month or one year? I'm done with waiting to TTC. If DH wasn't deploying soon, we would've already been trying for months by now...
Oh well. One day at a time, right?

lilylover27

becbec28 said:

@lilylover27

My DH is 5 years older than me too! And we haven't told anyone we're TTC either because 1) I also don't want extra pressure from people asking and dropping "hints" more than they already do (my FIL, love him to pieces but I swear every time I see him he says something about us having a baby and I see him 2-3x a week or more) and 2) I want it to be special when we announce it! I said something in passing to a good friend because she just had a baby and that's been it.  

*******************TW- LOSS MENTIONED****************

Then I'm stuck in an interesting situation because my SIL (I'm very close with my in-law family) has lost 2 babies, one full term and it hit the whole family very hard. Now she wants to adopt and I'm totally all for that! But they are not in a situation that would make it possible to be considered for adoption for a while and they're moving into a new place and she already has a baby room set up! The whole family is so Woohoo about it when it'll still be a while and I'm just over here like "I really hope this is my month". Makes it very hard to not say anything and not get upset because no one knows we're trying. I just feel so alone sometimes....

--That has to be very hard! I get the feeling alone too, it can be kind of a lonely journey even with DH. Just went to a party this past weekend for some old friends of the family and of course the baby topic came up because they have two young ones. I was just like it will happen when it happens and then they all start asking when and what are we doing to make it happen. I just brushed off the questions saying I didn't feel like talking about it right now. All I can do is try to keep positive at this point, AF is gone so a fresh new start and you never know!

lilylover27

Sirius37 said:

@becbec28 - I understand exactly what you mean. A friend of mine announced her pregnancy a few weeks ago, but just recently mentioned to me how she "went off BCP at the beginning of July, and then I was pregnant by the end of month! It was like I just sneezed and got pregnant!" I'm really happy for her - truly, she's always wanted to be a mom - but it makes me even more anxious. Like @Xstatic3333 said, the not knowing is what is killing me. Will it take DH and I one month or one year? I'm done with waiting to TTC. If DH wasn't deploying soon, we would've already been trying for months by now... Oh well. One day at a time, right?

That is exactly how I felt and was taking a break from social media. Everyone was like it happened so quickly or we weren't even trying or we just started dating! So I was get discourage pretty quickly, the little hiatus has definitely helped. I am really glad we have boards like this though to post to and vent and get support from others who feel the same!!