Is anyone else nervous because they have more of one sex and none of the other

nada123456

This this pregnancy has me so worried because I already have 3 boys and I'm praying that this time it a girl. what I can say is that this pregnancy is so different that I kind of already believe that I'm having a girl I think I've done all the folk tales that I can do all they all say girl so let's just hope they're right.

DeePaddy24

Why the 2nd post today about the same thing? Just curious...

agillespie15

I have 3 boys myself, and honestly, I really don't care which sex this one is, as long as it's healthy!!!!!!! Seriously.

itsStackie

I think I saw your other posts. I know people who have all boys or all girls. Frankly, I would be fine with only girls, my prayers are for a healthy carry and baby.
Hope it works out for you.

CupcakesRamazing

Was this second post really needed?

And no, I worry about things like Chromosonal issues, heart defects, etc; not the sex of the baby.

goldie987

This is my first and sure I'm hoping for a particular sex, many people do. That being said, as long as the baby is healthy and I can carry them to term, I'll be totally thrilled with whatever I get. My family has too much history with pregnancy/infant loss to worry about much other than health at this point.

mrsschmity

Just curious, was this a planned pregnancy in hopes to finally conceive a girl? If so, then surely you were aware right off the bat that there was a 50% chance of conceiving another boy...

nada123456

No we throught we were done because it crazy how I got pregnant so I take that God wanted me with this baby..

nada123456

And Sorry if I posted the same thing that someone else did I really did not see the first one so sorry if I made anyone mad.

CupcakesRamazing

nada123456 said:

And Sorry if I posted the same thing that someone else did I really did not see the first one so sorry if I made anyone mad.

No you created another post similar to this, just helpful if they had been combined into one post. How crazy was it that you got pregnant?

mrsschmity

nada123456 said:

No we throught we were done because it crazy how I got pregnant so I take that God wanted me with this baby..

In that case, I would just embrace the thought of possibly having another boy. If you have another girl, great. If not, prepare yourself for life with 4 boys! After all, a healthy baby is the ultimate goal right?

A friend of mine started her family with two boys. Her and her husband wanted to try for girl after the first two. What do you know, they had another boy. Three rambunctious boys. She never imagined herself raising all boys, but it happened (because that's just how science works) and she loves it.

crdo

Without sex selection through genetic testing in an IVF procedure, you've got a 50/50 shot. So, sure, hope for one sex if you want, but as for me, a healthy baby is all I'm looking for.

nada123456

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

Atlast111

nada123456 said:

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

It's fine to have a preference for a particular sex. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying but after 3 boys it normal for you to want a little girl. I would love a girl and my husband would like a boy but it's our first so it really doesn't matter. You see some people have 5 or 6 of 1 sex trying to get a different sex!
Just because you have a preference it doesn't mean you won't love your baby no matter what sex they are.

hellomommas

Atlast111 said:

nada123456 said:

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

It's fine to have a preference for a particular sex. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying but after 3 boys it normal for you to want a little girl. I would love a girl and my husband would like a boy but it's our first so it really doesn't matter. You see some people have 5 or 6 of 1 sex trying to get a different sex!
Just because you have a preference it doesn't mean you won't love your baby no matter what sex they are.

Just a side note: it's ALSO normal to have 3 boys and still want another boy. And you see people having 5 or 6 children because they like having children...not because they are "trying to get a different sex." Anyone who has another child just trying to have the opposite sex (esp. 5 or 6) is playing a seriously expensive lottery. I think they really actually just love their kids and want more.

halesnwhales

I love how everyone compares sex to health. They are 2 totally different things. I would love a girl and my man would love a boy of course both of us would be happy either way, but we do have preferences, so I totally see where your coming from, especially after 3 boys.

Atlast111

babyweber3 said:

Atlast111 said:

nada123456 said:

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

It's fine to have a preference for a particular sex. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying but after 3 boys it normal for you to want a little girl. I would love a girl and my husband would like a boy but it's our first so it really doesn't matter. You see some people have 5 or 6 of 1 sex trying to get a different sex!
Just because you have a preference it doesn't mean you won't love your baby no matter what sex they are.

Just a side note: it's ALSO normal to have 3 boys and still want another boy. And you see people having 5 or 6 children because they like having children...not because they are "trying to get a different sex." Anyone who has another child just trying to have the opposite sex is playing a seriously expensive lottery.

Sure. What I was saying is that it's ok to have a preference (whether it's all boys, all girls or a mix). I got the impression that previous posters were implying it was wrong and that "only a healthy baby mattered" in a way that suggested if you had a sex preference you didn't care about your babies health! It comes across as a bit preachy and condescending.

Knottie86418473

Hoping for one gender or the other does not mean one doesn't first and foremost want a healthy baby. Just as a poster above mentioned, I'm hoping for a girl, DH wants a boy. Honestly, we're going to be equally happy with whatever we have and really just want a healthy happy baby. But it's totally normal to feel a preference for one, especially since you already have 3 boys.

CupcakesRamazing

Atlast111 said:

babyweber3 said:

Atlast111 said:

nada123456 said:

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

It's fine to have a preference for a particular sex. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying but after 3 boys it normal for you to want a little girl. I would love a girl and my husband would like a boy but it's our first so it really doesn't matter. You see some people have 5 or 6 of 1 sex trying to get a different sex!
Just because you have a preference it doesn't mean you won't love your baby no matter what sex they are.

Just a side note: it's ALSO normal to have 3 boys and still want another boy. And you see people having 5 or 6 children because they like having children...not because they are "trying to get a different sex." Anyone who has another child just trying to have the opposite sex is playing a seriously expensive lottery.

Sure. What I was saying is that it's ok to have a preference (whether it's all boys, all girls or a mix). I got the impression that previous posters were implying it was wrong and that "only a healthy baby mattered" in a way that suggested if you had a sex preference you didn't care about your babies health! It comes across as a bit preachy and condescending.

Op stated she's "so worried this pregnancy" yeah the sex of my baby doesn't get me worried, fatal defects do.

mrsschmity

Eh, it's really not that big of a deal. I think the way OP worded the original post made it seem like she'd be extremely disappointed if she were to have another boy. I'm sure ultimately she'd be happy either way. I guess I'm one of the oddballs who truly has no preference on whether we're having a boy or girl, as long as it's healthy. Hence the reason we're not finding out the sex. I'm just happy that DH and I are starting a family. Different strokes for different folks.

goldie987

Atlast111 said:

babyweber3 said:

Atlast111 said:

nada123456 said:

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

It's fine to have a preference for a particular sex. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying but after 3 boys it normal for you to want a little girl. I would love a girl and my husband would like a boy but it's our first so it really doesn't matter. You see some people have 5 or 6 of 1 sex trying to get a different sex!
Just because you have a preference it doesn't mean you won't love your baby no matter what sex they are.

Just a side note: it's ALSO normal to have 3 boys and still want another boy. And you see people having 5 or 6 children because they like having children...not because they are "trying to get a different sex." Anyone who has another child just trying to have the opposite sex is playing a seriously expensive lottery.

Sure. What I was saying is that it's ok to have a preference (whether it's all boys, all girls or a mix). I got the impression that previous posters were implying it was wrong and that "only a healthy baby mattered" in a way that suggested if you had a sex preference you didn't care about your babies health! It comes across as a bit preachy and condescending.

It was only based on the way she worded the initial question, that she was "so worried because I already have 3 boys". She later said she would be happy with either as long as its healthy but not until a number of people had already commented. Had she said it from the beginning, I don't think most of the comments regarding health would have been made.

hellomommas

I realize most people probably think this is a dramatic way of looking at it but... I try to make a habit of never saying to other people what I wouldn't say straight to my child's face. My baby is either a boy or a girl right now--- has been since conception. I wouldn't say to his/her face "I wish you were a _______" so why would I tell strangers or even myself "I wish the baby were a _____". I just feel unnatural hoping for something that is already a reality. It's already decided. And more than that- even if I did want a particular "kind"--- that child may be nothing like the "dream scenarios or stereotypes" of having that certain sex/gender. For instance i may dream about my son playing baseball or my daughter taking dance and neither of those things could end up being our reality. I guess this is all is rooted in my belief in God though- and knowing he has chosen to bless us with this specific person to be in our family. He is designing our family and we are going to find joy in 1000 mysterious ways in the future with having this particular child. A 4th boy is no less awe-inspiring than the first. Think of all the many famous people that have changed the world as the 8th child, 11th child, etc. To say I hope for a girl or boy is to minimize this incredible life inside of me to an imaginary world of stereotypes- when I could just feel open to however this child surprises us with the way they act/think/what they like/dislike etc. Please don't read ANY of this as a judgment---I don't think it's "wrong" to want a girl or boy... This is just how that whole thought plays out in my mind....

With my first I realized ultimately--- I didn't want the "feeling" of having a boy or a girl... I wanted the feeling of being a mom- giving myself to someone and loving them like only a mom could... It didn't matter who I was going to love or if it was a pink or blue hooded towel I would wrap them in before reading books at bed time. I just wanted to wrap up a child, hold them and confess my love for them every single night.

Now that I have 2 boys, I am obsessed with them. I am pretty certain this is another boy. Can't wait to find out who he is. (Or who she is!) first time momma's, You love what you get. I promise. OP--- my husband is the 3/4 boys... It's awesome seeing them all together. And their momma loves and cuddles and treasures the 4th as if he were the first.

june2016baby

I understand you 100%. I DESPERATELY wanted a girl my third pregnancy. I was absolutely driven insane with desire for a girl. This began soon after finding out I was pregnant. Having said that, we went into the pregnancy wanting another baby, regardless of the gender. If God himself has told us that a third child would mean a third boy, we would have tried for a third, as we really had baby fever. But once pregnant, I wanted a girl so badly. At the time I kept thinking, "There is no one in the history of time who has ever wanted a girl more than I do."

Anyway, I had my girl. We decided we were done, and I joked that if God had wanted us to try for a fourth, he'd have given us a boy the third time. (So we'd try agin for a girl.) I got pregnant accidentally this time, and was told at the 12 week ultrasound that it's a boy.

As far as would I admit to my kid that I wanted another gender, (as someone said above,) yes, I already have. I told my oldest son numerous times that I wanted a girl first, but that God knew better than me, and gave me the best oldest child in the world instead. He really is the best oldest sibling, for which I praise him for all the time. He finds it funny that I wanted a girl first, and is by no means in the slighest way insulted by that. The thing is, your kids know how much you love them, they know more than anything that you'd never want a different kid (or gender) instead. Despite desperately wanting a girl, I believe God knows all, and would have felt that way, even if we ended up with all boys.

Atlast111

Sgoldberg247 said:

Atlast111 said:

babyweber3 said:

Atlast111 said:

nada123456 said:

Thanks so much for the encouragement but I would be happy with boy are girl but today was just one of those days..

It's fine to have a preference for a particular sex. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying but after 3 boys it normal for you to want a little girl. I would love a girl and my husband would like a boy but it's our first so it really doesn't matter. You see some people have 5 or 6 of 1 sex trying to get a different sex!
Just because you have a preference it doesn't mean you won't love your baby no matter what sex they are.

Just a side note: it's ALSO normal to have 3 boys and still want another boy. And you see people having 5 or 6 children because they like having children...not because they are "trying to get a different sex." Anyone who has another child just trying to have the opposite sex is playing a seriously expensive lottery.

Sure. What I was saying is that it's ok to have a preference (whether it's all boys, all girls or a mix). I got the impression that previous posters were implying it was wrong and that "only a healthy baby mattered" in a way that suggested if you had a sex preference you didn't care about your babies health! It comes across as a bit preachy and condescending.

It was only based on the way she worded the initial question, that she was "so worried because I already have 3 boys". She later said she would be happy with either as long as its healthy but not until a number of people had already commented. Had she said it from the beginning, I don't think most of the comments regarding health would have been made.

I guess I just assumed that she would want a Heathly baby as any normal mum would. It didn't need to be said. Anyway, I'm team green as it's our first. My husband will find out as he feels it will better help him prepare. I think if a parent had lots of one sex, it's likely they will want a different sex as it often provides a different parenting experience. Raising boys and girls can be quite different! When I visit nurseries, you can see the difference immediately. The girls like to sit and occupy themselves with reading or drawing and the boys like to run around and burn of more energy. Of course every child is different but there is a difference between the sexes when child rearing. This is just a scientific fact.

marriedtoadutchman

Just a side note: it's ALSO normal to have 3 boys and still want another boy. And you see people having 5 or 6 children because they like having children...not because they are "trying to get a different sex." Anyone who has another child just trying to have the opposite sex (esp. 5 or 6) is playing a seriously expensive lottery. I think they really actually just love their kids and want more.


This!
We have three boys and to be honest a girl scares me! I wouldn't know what to do lol. We have everything for a boy already and I just know boys. One of my biggest fears about telling people we are expecting is hearing the response 'oh your finally trying for a girl' It's makes me feel like my boys aren't good enough, I never want my boys to think or feel that we had to try for a girl. We are trying for a healthy baby, that's it.

Atlast111

I guess I've never been the sort or person that thinks liking something in particular takes away from other things. Wanting 1 sex doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the other in my mind. My mother wanted a boy before she had me. She loves having a girl and we are very close. I was never bothered for one second she had a preference. I guess if you have a good relationship with your kids and they are happy and well balanced (which I'm sure they are) then they don't suffer from insecurities.

Lilwatz

@babyweber3 I like how you look at this (not saying things you wouldn't say to your kid).  My first pregnancy I was VERY disappointed--to the point of tears--when we found out it was a girl.  I actually did NOT want to be Team Green because I did not want a hint of sadness in the delivery room when I first met my child and I was soooooooo hoping for a boy.  I wanted time to process.  I actually cried in the parking lot.  But, I would tell all of this to my sweet girl.  It wasn't that I didn't *want* a girl, or didn't *want* her.  I was TERRIFIED of having a girl.  I woke up that night and sat awake for 3 hours while I worried.  About everything.  I worried about silly things like, I cannot style hair one bit!  How can I style my daughter's hair?!?!  To bigger things like I had a terrible attitude--how will I handle that???  I am not a soft and fuzzy person--will she grow up thinking her mother is cold and distant???  

I wonder if many people who "want" one or the other are really just scared like me.  Or maybe I am a unique weirdo.

For this one, I truly do not have a preference.  I used to be terrified of the idea of sisters (love hard, HATE hard).  But for some reason I am not against it anymore.  And a little brother would be so sweet!  

Lilwatz

Oh!  And I agree with some of the PPs--I don't think anyone in the world doesn't want a healthy baby!  Why do we have to call out moms who don't explicitly say that?

Atlast111

I think kids view it logically when you say you want a different sex. If you give a child 3 bars of chocolate and then offer them either another bar of chocolate or a packet of crisps, most will take the crisps. Not because they don't like chocolate but hey.....they have 3 already. If you then say they can only have another bar of chocolate, how many would complain? It's a simple way of looking at it but it works for me.....lol.

NavyFlyer

I have a son, hoping for a girl this time, and I dont feel bad about it! I know if its a boy I will love him like crazy. But, I still want to buy ALL the girl clothes everytime I go to target.

Atlast111

@NavyFlyer. I love the girls clothes. The cute little dresses and hair bows are adorable. I really have to make sure I don't go crazy! The boys have some really cute shirts and little chinos too!

peregrinefalconx

I completely agree that it is ok to have a preference for one sex or another, particularly if you already have a couple or a few or 4 (!) of the same sex of child. It's completely natural. Everyone wants a healthy baby. I know people who had 5 girls in a row, 4 boys in a row. And FYI, as far as I know, you cannot select the sex through IVF in this country (I think only in Spain). They have expensive and complicated sperm washing procedures here which can try and get you a certain sex, but it is not guarranteed.

Corts

Gender Disappointment is a real thing, ladies. Google it and you will find everything from suicide attempts to online support groups and all those wonderful things.
To be honest I am suffering from this myself. It doesn't mean I'm not worried about the health of my baby. I certainly feel terrible for feeling this way, but it's better to deal with any disappointment now instead of when the baby comes.

Atlast111

@Corts. It really is ok to have this feeling. I totally agree if you deal with it now it saves going through it when the baby arrives. The day he arrives you might find all these feeling are blown away. If not, don't worry you will bond in time. I sometimes worry about not bonding with my baby but as with any new person sometimes it just take time to get to know them and grow to love them! I'm ok with this and I'm not going to pressurise myself over it.

RNMegan0711

I had this conversation with a friend of mine at lunch yesterday actually. She asked me what I'd do if it was a boy... Since we get to find out soon and because she knows I was really hoping to concieve a girl when my husband and I were first trying. I wanted a girl so bad that I have a closet full of girl things already! So I completely understand the gender disappointment reality.

Truth be told, now that I'm 3 1/2 months along.... I'm more open to the idea of both. I truly believe that God gives you what you need, not what you necessarily want. I'm too attached to he/she now. Regardless of its sex. I want to be a mommy.. I will love this little tiny human more than anything in this world and I just want to be the best host I can for them now.