A question about friendships

MNturnsVA

Hi all, I'm currently TTC & I have a very dear friend who has an almost 3 month old now. I try very hard to keep in touch & contact with my girlfriends & keep up with what's going on. I know this is super selfish but I'm feeling very neglected by my friend. I feel like if I don't make the effort I'd never hear from her. I don't think there is anything wrong or that there have been any issues between us since her child birth, although I haven't asked. I participate regularly in the TTC board & that is helpful but I miss my friend. I feel like I have nobody in real life that I can talk too anymore about this or anybody that cares other than DH. I KNOW my friend is going through a multitude of things with her new baby & getting adjusted to work & life with baby but I don't feel I'm asking for too much either.....almost all of our conversations revolve around her & baby.....just having a hard time. Any input welcome.

millereliz13

Your friend is going through a lot with a 3 month old. The first few months are rough. Even if there are no complications, you don't sleep through the night and babies are hard. Ask her of she would mind taking to you about your issues but honestly, her talking about the baby is because that is her life.

MNturnsVA

@millereliz13-  thanks for the reply.   I get it, i KNOW that its her life. i get it.  I know that I'm being selfish.  But part of the problem is i have nobody else in real life that really gets it.  The TTC board is helpful but its not quite the same......and i just miss my friend.....i miss somebody, anybody checking on me, other than DH

millereliz13

I get it, we tried for over a year. I have a 9 week old and to tell the truth, I'm sick today and my husband is caring for our little guy. I went through the same thing with a friend of mine. My recommendation is talk to someone else, see if there is a fertility support group at your hospital. But please understand your friend still loves you, she just has her hands full.

Knottie1442268460

She's TIRED!

SLGILL1978

Just give her time. She is adjusting to having a baby, leaving her baby and going back to work, logistics about the household with the addition of the baby, her relationship with her husband has changed, etc. Trust me! You will see when you have your baby :-)

meggyme

Can you visit her? Bring her food and a bottle of wine and hang out after baby is in bed. Your friendship doesn't need to end, just change.

stacemom

She must be adjusting. I was once there in her situation when I had my first baby. I resigned from work because I wanted to take care of my daughter personally. I rarely go out with friends. I only go out to buy stuff for my baby. I got no social life. So try to understand as she might be adjusting to motherhood. :-)

mothernorth

Please don't be upset with your friend. It's normal to feel some neglect, but she is soon busy and exhausted and adjusting, just give her some time. 
When you go from TTC to Expecting to Momma, you will understand exactly what she's going through now and will look back and laugh! She's  not trying to hurt you, and when you are a mommy, you won't be trying to hurt the people you can't quite keep the same contact with. "Babies change everything", truest words in the world.

mothernorth

So busy*