FTM's Come On In...Don't Be Scared — The Bump
May 2016 Moms

FTM's Come On In...Don't Be Scared

You should actually be totally scared! OMG what I had to do this morning!!! I think there are things that the books, friends, doctors, articles, etc don't tell you about taking care of a child and I have a suspicion it's motivated by meanness. First, I still haven't gotten over no one telling me pre-baby about full panel pants that are like Spanx when you're not pg (selfish!)! No one told me when LO's (meaning baby LOs) get a stomach bug their vomit is projectile and you should use puppy pads underneath them in your bed so you don't have to clean your blankets and sheets every 20 min (guess how I figured this one out!). Toddlers do not want to drink when they're sick. I think it's bc they know it's good for them and it sends us into sheer panic when they won't drink. They (mine at least) hate Pedialyte. No one told me to put half juice and half Pedialyte in a baby bottle and it's like magic. DD drinks like she's in a desert with this method. Lastly, what brought this post on, no one, NO one told me that when my child is constipated and it's already poking out of her butt that I would have to dig poop out of her butt (while she was screaming for me to help her...absolutely one of the most horrible moments of my life...and it involves poop). Yep. I'm a mom and I love my job. I feel that these things need to be passed on and not kept secret bc when it happens to you at least you'll know what to expect and you know what can happen. Be brave ladies. It's a hard job but someone's got to do it!

Any other veteran moms have stories/remedies about things that aren't passed on??? This secret stuff has gone on long enough!!!

 
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Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



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Re: FTM's Come On In...Don't Be Scared

  • Ali7151Ali7151
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic
    member
    edited November 2015
    Sounds like you had a rough weekend!
    doozer1345
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  • doozer1345doozer1345
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited November 2015
    @kbrands7 I'm going to hold you to talking to you about BF. I got a reduction and lift in July and am terrified about not being able to BF with this one and I REALLY want to. It was such a special time for me and DD when I BF her. It literally makes me tear up thinking I may not be able to with this one. ETA: we also do the syringe with DD when the bottle doesn't work. Not something that was passed on either!
    image
    Been married since 2009.
    Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
    Several MCs
    DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



  • @kbrands7 I'm going to hold you to talking to you about BF. I got a reduction and lift in July and am terrified about not being able to BF with this one and I REALLY want to. It was such a special time for me and DD when I BF her. It literally makes me tear up thinking I may not be able to with this one. ETA: we also do the syringe with DD when the bottle doesn't work. Not something that was passed on either!

    Absolutely! I'm hoping this time is easier from the beginning, but if not, I have my arsenal ready and I'm happy to share strategies!


    araecasey
  • I second the BF help. I struggled so much last time, I'm actually going to take a class this time but I'd love advice from someone else who had to work at it too!

    Kids are messy and gross but the best thing ever. I almost don't want to say this for fear of jinxing myself, but DS has only puked once in almost 21 months. However, never use the Nose Frida after a bottle. Projectile vomit is guaranteed.
    doozer1345kbrands7
  • @thismakes4 I second the any baby crying triggers milk! If a baby cried on TV I would leak.

    Also, when your milk comes in you will be engorged and it is painful!!! I used large zip loc bags filled with water and ice to ease the pain (I heard cabbage leaves work too). Also when your milk comes in you will be an emotional wreck. I cried bc I was crying and didn't know why. I big thing for me with BF was practicing calming breaths bc my milk wouldn't come down unless I was completely relaxed and unstressed.
    image
    Been married since 2009.
    Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
    Several MCs
    DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



    valerie4786thismakes4kbrands7JennyS86

  • One of my biggest pet peeves/things that gross me out is when people have food on their faces. How am I going to handle the grossness that is baby hood?

    My mom likes to tell the story of when my grandfather babysat me and left me in the bouncer swing all night. I pooped and by the time my parents got home, I had bounced so much that there was poop everywhere...

    They should rename Babies R Us to Babies R Gross.

    cat fail animated GIF

    Aquinna82
  • kbrands7kbrands7
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2015

    @thismakes4 I second the any baby crying triggers milk! If a baby cried on TV I would leak.

    Also, when your milk comes in you will be engorged and it is painful!!! I used large zip loc bags filled with water and ice to ease the pain (I heard cabbage leaves work too). Also when your milk comes in you will be an emotional wreck. I cried bc I was crying and didn't know why. I big thing for me with BF was practicing calming breaths bc my milk wouldn't come down unless I was completely relaxed and unstressed.

    Yes to all of this about leaking/ engorgement. If the engorgement is really bad, filling a diaper with cold water and putting it in your bra helps too, though when the baby is young, you could also hand express a bit then see if baby is hungry. (It's really difficult for a baby to latch to an engorged breast...they just sort of... bounce off.) For plugged ducts, do the same with the duaper but use warm water.

    Also, get a waterproof pad for your bed. I leaked a lot at night-- and had horrible night sweats the first week post-partum. It's not a bad idea in case your water breaks overnight too.


    valerie4786
  • @yogahh I was the same way before DD. Granted, it is still gross but your tolerance for your LO's grossness is higher than you can see right now. Poop, pee, food, snot is so gross with other kids but when it's your kid it's different. You couldn't convince me of that before DD but it really is true.
    image
    Been married since 2009.
    Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
    Several MCs
    DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



    kbrands7araecaseykp90Bluejay3030
  • Yes to all of this about leaking/ engorgement. If the engorgement is really bad, filling a diaper with cold water and putting it in your bra helps too, though when the baby is young, you could also hand express a bit then see if baby is hungry. (It's really difficult for a baby to latch to an engorged breast...they just sort of... bounce off.) For plugged ducts, do the same with the duaper but use warm water. Also, get a waterproof pad for your bed. I leaked a lot at night-- and had horrible night sweats the first week post-partum. It's not a bad idea in case your water breaks overnight too.

    Go ahead and get a waterproof pad for your bed NOW. My water broke IN THE BED with DD. I was grateful I already had a waterproof pad on there bc it came with the new mattress. Isn't it amazing how LO can smell you by your milk?! Very hippy-ish but I think it is the neatest thing!! LO can identify you by your milk/smell before your face.

    image
    Been married since 2009.
    Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
    Several MCs
    DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



    kbrands7araecasey
  • I think so much of this really has to be experienced first hand to understand. If someone told me all of this would happen before DD I would probably laugh and carry on with my day. I would've never believe anyone that told me I would one day catch puke with my hands out of reflex. But I've done that a few times!

    @yogahh I was a really squeamish person when it came to puke and poop and snot before DD. Blood I could handle but the other bodily fluids I could not. I promise that whatever comes out of your LO will barely bother you and you won't think twice about wiping snot off his/her nose with you hand and you will probably clean up poop off of every surface imaginable. Did you know that babies can poop all the way up their back and it can end up in their hair?! Yeah I had no idea that was possible!

    Also, @kbrands7 thanks for the offer of BF help! I was never able to BF DD. We tried EVERYTHING. The girl would just not latch. I think it was a combination of a few things. I was induced due to pre-e and they classified her as "late preemie" and the LCs said she was acting a lot like most premature babies act with BF. I also found out when she was around 15 months that she had a pretty bad lip tie. I didn't even know what a lip tie was! So I'm really hoping it goes better this time and circumstances are different.

    doozer1345kbrands7JennyS86
  • Also... The first poop will scare you. It sounds like a loud zipper. We thought DD ripped her butt. Not joking (she didn't but it was alarming bc it's so loud!)
    image
    Been married since 2009.
    Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
    Several MCs
    DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



    kbrands7Pascal86
  • Sheets, waterproof pad, sheets, waterproof pad. So you can rip the top layer off during a middle of the night blow out, leak, or puke fiasco.

    If you breastfeed try bottle feeding 1x a day or you may end up with a kid like mine who had a complete aversion to every bottle known to man. I couldn't leave my kid for more than a couple hrs well past her 1st year of life since no one else could feed her.
    #1 Claire 12.17.13 & #2 EDD 5.11.16

    araecaseynerdymama15valerie4786JennyS86
  • kbrands7kbrands7
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2015

    I also found out when she was around 15 months that she had a pretty bad lip tie. I didn't even know what a lip tie was! So I'm really hoping it goes better this time and circumstances are different.

    DS has a lip tie too that we didn't realize until after we had finally settled into a consistent good latch after a couple months. At that point, we didn't want to mess with it. Apparently it's a very easy fix early on.

    I'll definitely share whatever I can! Like I said, we tried all sorts of things in different combinations to get a fit. I wrote everything down in case I have to go through it again. We also had a small variety of hurdles from the tie, to a sleepy latch, positioning around a csection incision, biting, temporary supply dips from going back to work/norovirus/etc.

    I hope we all have easier experiences this time around!


    JennyS86
  • @kbrands7 I ended up taking DD to a pediatric dentist to discuss her lip tie. We made the decision to wait a while and see if it caused her issues. He warned me though that if she ever hit her mouth on something and busted that lip tie it would bleed a lot but she would likely be fine. A week later she fell and busted it! I couldn't believe it. There was a LOT of blood but it stopped pretty quickly.

  • Oh boy now this makes me even more terrified.

    The water proof mattress pads though are a win though.  We already have one b/c one of our dogs (she passed away in July) would get mad at us and as revenge would pee on the bed, which then made one of the other dogs decide to mark it repeatedly.  After having to replace a mattress, we paid extra for a water proof mattress pad.  And let me tell you, even with just dogs, that thing has came in super handy! It has saved our mattress more times than we can count. Now if we could just own more than one set of bed sheets at a time, I'd be happy.  One of our other dogs likes to destroy the bed sheets.  DH doesn't want me keeping him in a crate all day and I can't keep him out here in the living room while I work b/c he is a super distraction.  So sometimes he rips up the bedsheets into pieces.  But anyway, I'm off topic. lol


    First Pregnancy
    • BFP: 01/25/2015
    • EDD: 09/28/2015
    • Incomplete MC: 02/28/2015

    Second Pregnancy

    • BFP: 09/11/2015
    • EDD: 05/25/2016
    Baby Born
    04/15/2016



    PGAL
    amscape
  • I'm a lurker, but can we talk about the first postpartum poop that us mamas will have to do? Holy shit. I've always heard it was bad, but I never knew it would be that bad. Take stool softener religiously and pray to God Almighty that you may survive. I thought I was going to die.
    kbrands7araecaseyKelleAlward
  • I'm a lurker, but can we talk about the first postpartum poop that us mamas will have to do? Holy shit. I've always heard it was bad, but I never knew it would be that bad. Take stool softener religiously and pray to God Almighty that you may survive. I thought I was going to die.

    Absolutely! The first pee after a catheter (if you have to have one) is difficult too-- jumping in the shower first to get things warm and relaxed helps a lot.


    meganbarlockeraraecasey
  • Ohhhhh the stitches. Those were the worst part for me. I couldn't sit right for two weeks. I looked like a 90 year old man as I tried to lower myself into a chair.  I even had a nurse check down there because I was sure something was wrong. 
  • Realize that there are a lot of rough parts but you probably won't experience all of them. The first postpartum poop wasn't a big deal for me at all. But wow did my nipples hurt that first week.

    My nurse taught me to run a tea bag under hot water and place on my nipples for 10 minutes, 3 times a day. You do it too much and your nipples never "toughen up" but something in the tea helped relieve the pain and bleeding those first few days. Wow, but did my nipples bleed. I felt like I was going to turn my DD into a vampire as she kept getting blood too when she'd nurse.

    The lack of sleep that first month is hard. Not just, "Oh, I'm tired" but with the broken sleep and changing hormones, it's like being in 1st trimester again only with a crying newborn. I was so angry that first month just from a lack of decent sleep. Newborn crying just plain got on my nerves. My DH had to take over for an hour or so every evening when he got home because I just needed to not deal with it for a little while. After sleep leveled out/I got used to it and the hormones leveled out again, I was fine. But that first month was seriously rough. One thing that I did that helped was not change up things too much. We still went and did things. If I had just stayed home that first month, it would have been so much worse. I honestly think that is part of the reason my DD has always been great at being in the car, going new places, etc.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
    TTC #2: Started 4/2014       BFP 7/30/15   MC 8/3/15       BFP 9/4/2015   EDD 5/16/2016

    image
    doozer1345
  • I read on another thread about the stitches getting stuck on your (massive) pads. That's freaked me out more than anything!!

    cat fail animated GIF

  • Two really good threads on TB that get into the nitty gritty of child birth and postpartum... if you are brave enough to read them!

    cat fail animated GIF

  • I was terrified going into it and the anticipation was way worse than anything I experienced.


    -Extra heavy overnight pads with wings (they are usually purple regardless of brand)

    This, for sure. The anticipation and freaking out it way worse than actually experiencing any of this stuff.

    These pads are amazing! They are thin so more comfortable than the bulky ones but have serious absorbancy. http://always.com/en-us/shop-products/menstrual-pads/infinity-pads-with-flexfoam/always-infinity-extra-heavy-overnight-pads-with-wings

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
    TTC #2: Started 4/2014       BFP 7/30/15   MC 8/3/15       BFP 9/4/2015   EDD 5/16/2016

    image
    kbrands7lionstigersbears
  • I was terrified going into it and the anticipation was way worse than anything I experienced.


    -Extra heavy overnight pads with wings (they are usually purple regardless of brand)

    This, for sure. The anticipation and freaking out it way worse than actually experiencing any of this stuff.

    These pads are amazing! They are thin so more comfortable than the bulky ones but have serious absorbancy. http://always.com/en-us/shop-products/menstrual-pads/infinity-pads-with-flexfoam/always-infinity-extra-heavy-overnight-pads-with-wings
    I second those! They're awesome!


    lionstigersbearsdoozer1345
  • I am now terrified. Still trying to decide what scares me the most, but I am absolutely terrified!
  • I have a really queasy stomach (as in can't watch birthing videos without wanting to pass out). I promise - it all sounds really terrifying, but in the moment you've got so many other things going on that need your attention that you sort of just deal with each one as needed and get on with it as best you can. You'll find yourself doing horrible, gross things like second nature fairly quickly.

    Buy all the supplies and hope you don't need half of them!
    kbrands7lionstigersbearsdoozer1345jewels1020

  • Pregghers said:
    Errr... After reading this I would like a do over. Maybe pregnancy was a bad idea.
    Hahaha....honestly, it isn't as bad as it sounds. In some ways, it is far worse but in others, not a big deal. I find labor and postpartum better than pregnancy and the newborn stage. Other people are the exact opposite.


    As far as kids and puke, expect to clean up a fair amount of it. When they are toddlers and older, you start to recognize the signs of when they are going to puke and can rush them to the toilet or over the tub. One of the best things I've learned is that when I start to see the signs, I line the sofa, floor, etc. with beach towels or extra bath towels. Putting a waterproof pad under the towels is also a great idea. My 3.5yr old started getting decent at actually getting it into the bucket last winter just before she turned 3...but not until she had already thrown up once or twice.

    Another tip with the puke: just use the tub to throw sheets, blankets, towels, pjs, etc. until the end of the day/night. Just because you think the puke is done...you are probably wrong. Also, buy extra sheets for their crib/bed. We only have 2-3 sets for our bed that we rotate through. DD has 5 sets for her bed. For some reason, they always throw up in the bed and always more than once.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
    TTC #2: Started 4/2014       BFP 7/30/15   MC 8/3/15       BFP 9/4/2015   EDD 5/16/2016

    image
  • Me, after reading this thread: 

    image

    In all seriousness, though, it's good to know these things. I told my hubs this morning on our walk about doozer1345's comments on digging out poop. He reminded me that -- Gross alert -- I had pulled poop out of my dog's butt when it got stuck one time. Which is true. 
    Me: 38; DH: 41
    DS: Born 5-17-16 

    kbrands7dsmith211doozer1345nerdymama15
  • I've actually never had to pull poop out of a baby's butt. Considering I did infant care for years, I find that fact impressive after reading this thread. lol.

    Fun fact/tip: My DD's doc ok'd 1 teaspoon of milk of magnesia when no other constipation remedy worked. We had to do this the first time at 1 month old. The mess after was crazy but it moved things along after 10 days of nothing else working.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
    TTC #2: Started 4/2014       BFP 7/30/15   MC 8/3/15       BFP 9/4/2015   EDD 5/16/2016

    image
  • yogahh said:
    Two really good threads on TB that get into the nitty gritty of child birth and postpartum... if you are brave enough to read them!

    OMG. I found this gem on there, and it may be the funniest thing I have ever read (and now I totally wish it will happen to me, just so I can squirt my SO. Yea, we're weird):

    "Something I want to add that I wish someone told me was how far breast milk can shoot. I was pumping in addition to breast feeding, we went on a trip and I neglected yo take my pump. When dd started crying and I went to this bathroom to feed her, milk was shooting out like a water gun, like 2 and a half to three feet. It was ridiculous. Dd was choking but hungry. I soaked her me and the bathroom floor. It was mortifying and someone should of told me boobs could do that."
    Lol, yes! I don't know how many times I accidentally squirted my vanity mirror drying off after a shower. It really shocked me the first time it happened.


    lionstigersbearsKelleAlward
  • Also... The first poop will scare you. It sounds like a loud zipper. We thought DD ripped her butt. Not joking (she didn't but it was alarming bc it's so loud!)

    OMG. This made me lol at work. I can't wait for the joys of babyhood. @doozer1345
    doozer1345
  • I already have an almost 2 year old and strangely I'm terrified all over again.

    image
    doozer1345kbrands7BuzzBee614jewels1020
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