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TTC After a Loss
Autumnrae07
member
Back so very soon.** TW LOSS MENTIONED **
Autumnrae07
member
So after several faint positives on different brands I called it and moved to my BMB so full of excitement. Unfortunately the same day that I decided to call it after a stronger line than previous days, my dear sweet dog went from fine to critical in a matter of hours. There was nothing that we could do other than comfort him and be with him until the end. It was the worst night of my life. We took him to a friend's and buried him it was 1 am when we got out there. As I took a break from digging I noticed some cramps in my back. I checked, and light spotting. 
I cursed myself for digging. But in my emotional state I didn't see this coming. I had in my mind struck a deal. I lose my best friend out of nowhere, I should get a healthy baby. Wishful thinking. The spotting progressed to bright red bleeding over the next 2 days. From there I knew it was over. Tests were now negative. I'm in disbelief. I am angry. I really don't know how to feel. I'm left here with my dogs banana in one hand and 2 positive hpt in the other. For a few hours i was on top of the world. We thought about putting off ttc or just NTNP. I know myself though. I have to micromanage if possible. Lol. I will be (trying to take) taking a more lax approach, no testing early is my new rule. A midwife told me we can try again when we feel emotionally ready. Sorry this was so long, I am rambling. Thanks for your support ladies.
I cursed myself for digging. But in my emotional state I didn't see this coming. I had in my mind struck a deal. I lose my best friend out of nowhere, I should get a healthy baby. Wishful thinking. The spotting progressed to bright red bleeding over the next 2 days. From there I knew it was over. Tests were now negative. I'm in disbelief. I am angry. I really don't know how to feel. I'm left here with my dogs banana in one hand and 2 positive hpt in the other. For a few hours i was on top of the world. We thought about putting off ttc or just NTNP. I know myself though. I have to micromanage if possible. Lol. I will be (trying to take) taking a more lax approach, no testing early is my new rule. A midwife told me we can try again when we feel emotionally ready. Sorry this was so long, I am rambling. Thanks for your support ladies.
Re: Back so very soon.** TW LOSS MENTIONED **
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019