How did everyone survive "the question"

Jenniferk08

We all know that one. When are you having a/another kid.

Thankfully only one aunt was busy asking it. And I just suddenly heard my name being called to help out.

KLake42

My grandmother was the only one who commented that we hadn't asked her yet to start working on a baby quilt.  But she (and everyone) already knew that we're trying.  I also talked to my parents early in the day about the IVF plans.  So I just told her-- not yet, but we're working on it!

So we were lucky.  We were already out as TTC (and struggling) to everyone we had dinner with.

happyktmom

I've just started telling people we're not trying anymore. That of course prompts the statement :"That's when it'll happen!". Grrrr

aim22

We thankfully didn't get it! But we have in the past and the one that bugs me the most is from his sister who recently had a baby! Grrrr

Mamafesto

I love my partner's family. No one asked the question, which was exactly what I expected. We were together for almost 11 years before I got pregnant with my LO and in those years, no one in his family ever asked once whether or when we were going to have kids.

When we head home to visit my family for christmas, on the other hand, I expect to be attacked. I have one uncle in particular that was already giving me a hard time about it last year when my LO was only 1.5 and I'm sure he's going to be relentless this year. Part of me wants to just respond with "well, I just recently had a miscarriage, but thanks for asking," but I really don't want anyone in my family to know I'm trying b/c it will only make things worse. People are the worst...

PattersRN

No one asked, thankfully. My parents know we're trying, my husband's parents don't, but they mind their own business.

amimhof

No one asked.  But that's probably because they were fusing over my sister-in-law who announced she was pregnant.  She's the only one in my family that knew we were trying, and when we started she was still swearing she didn't want another kid because her first pregnancy was so hard.  So since we started trying she changed her mind, managed to overcome PCOS, and announce she was pregnant. 

What am I thankful for: my brother's gathering was the first of the day and we got to leave shortly after to go to my husband's family dinner.

Hope everyone had a better day than I did.

jilligan14

We spent Thanksgiving with friends this year since it's too far to drive to see family. One friend who was there used to be super nosy and ask all sorts of inappropriate questions about when I was going to have babies (even telling me that I needed to stop "waiting" since I'm not getting any younger) and I nearly broke down one time when she confronted us in the grocery store. H finally snapped at her and told her to stop asking since it was a "sensitive topic" and that shut her up. A few closer friends know about my TTC struggles and are anxiously awaiting for Thursday's results (when I test) but didn't bring it up since not all of our friends know. I just wish people could be more considerate about these things.

JeNYCeee

Luckily everyone knows we're trying and struggling on my husband's and my side who would bother asking. When the question rolled around last year we also answered, "We're working on it!" That seems to throw people off as if they just then realize that you don't magically become pregnant when you decide to start a family. I even respond that way with my friends now because it feels so much nicer not to hide such a huge part of our lives.

PattersRN

I'm actually more irritated by my coworkers than my family. I work with a bunch of nosey women and right after I got married the "are you having kids" questions started. My answer was usually a vague "we'll see what happens". The loudest of the bunch at one point asked how old I was and when I told her I'm 36, she's all "well you better get on that!!!!" Yes I know..... Ugh.

SLGILL1978

Everyone asked! Lol.. luckily no one really said anything when I said, "yes, we would like more". I had some single family members that did not have children that they were more focused on :-). 

emsmama15

@PattersRN - UGH!  I'm so sorry!  If anyone used my age as a reason to tell me I'd better get a move on, I'd probably punch them.  

rspalding001

The closest we got was a great grandfather telling me I'd be more relaxed about our #1 when we had #2. It was a little irritating but I got over it. The implication that I was overreacting with our DD bugged me just as much as the comment triggered the frustration we have been experiencing trying to conceive #2. I think I butchered that sentence but can't figure out how to fix it, ha ha... Oh well

MntnGirl

I hated being asked about it in the past and the worst is when they remind you of your age. We weren't asked at all this year and I'm glad, but not being asked because you're over the age people would expect you to be trying is bittersweet.

BernieRae

@MntnGirl - Yes! My teaching partner is pregnant. When she announced it I was bracing myself for "the question" from staff or parents and....nothing. I'm glad that people know better, but yes, bittersweet... Wait, no, I did have one person ask.  When my teaching partner announced it to the children, the 3 yr old next to me turned to face me and said, "And then you're going to have a baby?". I'm hoping she's a clairvoyant

Sporty1216

I hope that 3 year old is clairvoyant too, @BernieRae ! Kids say the darnedest things. And sometimes they're right on the money!