FFCF 11/27

nerdymama15

Didn't see one on here. 

My FFCF today is I got fed up with the neighbors dogs continually getting out of their fence and I called Animal Control.  I am in pregnant woman bitch mode today.  We just put up a new fence (well most of it.  The side affected in this story is brand new) and the neighbor's dogs keep getting out of their fence and coming over to our property to torture and torment our dogs whenever we let them out into the backyard to play or potty.  We did the responsible thing and repaired our fence.  Yet their dogs keeps trying to fence fight our dogs.  Our Pit Bull keeps getting super aggressive with the fence fighting.  He is dog aggressive so we make a point not to let him around other dogs that aren't in his family.  We are responsible like that.  However, the neighbors dogs keep trying to fence fight our Pit Bull.  Our Pit has started trying to chew a hole in the new fence panels so he can get at the neighbors dogs.   Now I don't want any dogs to die or anything, but if my dog somehow escapes b/c their stupid dog is trespassing and tempting my dog and my dog hurts or kills their dog, then my pit bull will be the one to blame even though their stupid asses (excuse me i'm hopping mad) don't keep their dogs up.  They have had animal control called on them many times.  In the message I left for animal control I gave them their address and was like "ya'll should be very familiar with this address b/c ya'll are up there all the damn time".  Many people in this neighborhood have called animal control on them.    It would be different if this was a once in a blue moon thing, but my dogs can't even go out to pee without trying to fence fight the neighbor's dogs.   I mean we let the pit out after lunch today.  He didn't even bother peeing or pooping.  All he was interested in was the dog on the other side of the fence. 

dsmith211

I literally slept all day. I got up, ate a massive amount of leftovers, curled up on the couch, and just woke up again. Nothing got done today and I care none at all.

DH is sleeping too. But it's bc he said he wasn't feeling good so I'm kinda avoiding him. I don't want to get sick. This sleep better have helped and he better be ok.

MIL apparently sent me a bunch of texts. I've kinda been ignoring them. She keeps asking stuff I want her to buy for baby and I don't know what to say bc I always feel super awkward having people buy me stuff. She's always been super generous but I feel like she could go overboard.

I have a concert I'm going to next Friday and I'm super excited. I asked my midwife and she said so long as I'm not in the midst of the crowd getting bumped around on the floor (duh) that I will be perfectly fine. I'm standing on a second floor balcony. Everyone keeps saying I probably shouldn't go. Again, my midwife cleared me so poo to everyone.

vinerie

I threw away most of the pumpkin pie I was given yesterday. i just don't like pumpkin pie! I did it discreetly, though!

yogahh

Not a confession per say, but I didn't roll my eyes at MIL once!! GO ME!!

Bltbear82

@dsmith211 last pregnancy I went to a concert 2 weeks before I went into labor. Just rest against something and wear comfortable shoes. I ended up leaving earlier than I would have normally, but only because people in our section were smoking and I was super paranoid about being exposed to pot. So we left as soon as they started, but otherwise was fine. Have fun!

tgortney

My SIL had a MC the same month we got our BFP. I think she's resentful of us but is trying to seem supportive. DH and her aren't very close in the first place. She's been avoiding us like the plague and didn't even want to come to our family-only reveal party. We have thanksgiving lunch with his family Saturday and I'm dreading it.

I feel like the whole family is walking on eggshells for my pregnancy because of her. She got a great reaction when she announced her pregnancy but mine seems to have been pushed to the side by my in laws and it really hurts. Especially from my FIL, he took his daughter's MC hard and was hardly excited about our pregnancy (his first grandchild).

I want to be excited about my pregnancy on social media but I think about her every time I post something. It makes it even worse when she writes things like missing her baby, seeing all the baby posts (from other people) hurts her heart, it's hard to breathe. I know she's including me in there.

I just want to be selfish and enjoy my pregnancy and be happy for my son!

Pascal86

@tgortney - that sounds really touchy when dealing with being around family, sorry you aren't able to fully celebrate! But as far as social media, 1) you can set your posts to not be shown to certain people, and 2) you know about your SIL's miscarriage, but you never know how many other people on social media are going through the same thing, so maybe toning down the public excitement is saving many more people from extra heartache as well. I haven't had a mc, but seeing people celebrate things like a great relationship after a breakup, for example, feel pretty brutal. So I've actually gone back to group emails when I want to share big news or be excited about something - you can target exactly who you want to share with, and it always feels more personal to get an email than just to see a random post online anyway, so I feel like it's a win-win!

tgortney

@Pascal86 thanks for the good pointers! I just hope as she begins to heal and try again. We can just celebrate expanding our family and everyone can talk about pregnancies, open and freely again.

TheThornBird

@tgortney Wow, I know that must be so difficult for you, and I'm so happy to see you are keeping your SIL's feelings in mind. I had a MC back in June, and it was by far the hardest thing I've been through. I *hated* pregnant women for a long time, and while I would try to be supportive of a family member or friend who was pregnant, it would have been extremely difficult for me- especially if it was an in-law, rather than a sibling. It would have been crushing to feel like everyone had moved on and forgotten my baby because a new one was coming along. Also, it can tough for people to get excited about a new pregnancy when the worst case scenario is still fresh in their mind and they know it can happen again. Our families are not as excited this time around (and to be honest, neither are my SO and I). No one wants to get too attached right now. 

Have you tried talking with her? There's a fantastic line of cards for miscarriage (https://shop.drjessicazucker.com/), perhaps one of those might help in opening a line of communication. Personally, I would have preferred if someone was open with me; ask if she wants you to disappear from her life for awhile while she grieves, or if she wants to be included. Who knows, maybe in some way including her (asking for her input on baby items, talking about what baby/pregnancy research she did, going through baby names together- I would have *loved* if someone had sat down with me and helped me pick out a name!) will help her with her grief. 

As much as I hate the usual "woe is me" posts on social media, I wonder if maybe her posting about how hard it is to see baby stuff is a way she is trying to reach out? MC *sucks*- no one wants to talk to you about it, even when all you want to do is talk. 

Just be patient- it was probably way too difficult for her to go to your reveal party (I know I wouldn't have been able to handle it). It takes a long, long time to get over MC; I'm still not over mine. But it sounds like you are very understanding and want to be sensitive to her, which is awesome

Good luck with everything, and enjoy being pregnant!

tgortney

@TheThornBird Thanks for your kind words DH and I have been including her on our progress through texts only and they have been well received. I think it allows her time to process it how she wants.

When we first announced our pregnancy to her (which we were nervous to do and waited as long as possible). It was not well received but she did call me a week later and we had a great conversation about being pregnant so I know it's just taking time.

I'll check out those cards