Thanksgiving and the blues...

spring512

Hi I'm new here. Feeling like I need to vent about Thanksgiving this year with family. I was with my DH's family for dinner, and his cousin shows up with her 6mo old and couldn't help but feel so jealous. Now looking at FB it feels worse- everyone's babies in their cute outfits, and others posting new preg announcements...I'M JUST SO TIRED OF TRYING.  TIRED of people asking us questions, like 'Are you guys trying?', 'do you want kids?' I actually dread going to these family functions when we haven't seen everyone in a while. At least someone always asks, or doesn't ask (not sure which feels worse). Ya know the other night my DH and I were with my family's sibs and we were asked about trying to get pregnant, and we shared an open discussion about our struggle right now. I felt such relief, no shame! I also liked when no one asked me how I felt about all of this or guessed about it, felt less like I was judged. 

Anyway its good to feel like someone is listening. Hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving! 

fairygirl86

I can relate of the tired of trying and pregnancy announcements. Makes things worse today I started my period wasn't what I needed on top of having to work all night at a retail store. December 29 was my Edd so now I will have to wait till the new year to see if we get lucky this time but I'm not holding my breath kinda losing hope.

BornReady

I'm sorry it was a hard day for you. It's such a lonely time when you're trying and it's not happening. I can definitely relate to your feelings of dread. I was so paranoid that there was going to be a big pregnancy announcement at dinner last night, my stomach was in knots. I hate that anxiety feeling.

Glad you were able to talk about your struggles with people. I've found the more I talk about stuff like infertility / loss etc. the more I hear about others who have experienced them, which helps me feel less alone. 

BrookeNorman8214

Hi! I know what you are going through. The holidays have been the hardest for me in my grieving process so far. My husband and I have suffered 3 mcs. I know exactly how it feels! I have cried every day! One thing that has helped me is starting a blog. I use it to keep friends and family updated on what we have been going through and to document this journey. I also use it to post happy things that are going on in our life. I post pictures of fun things we do. Most recently I wrote a post called ten things I'm happy about right now... I added pictures. I read it when I'm really sad and it makes me feel a little bit better. I also hope that some day I look back on it and remember the struggle but know that it was all worth it in the end. I know it's hard. Hang in there sister!

steminist

Definitely hard for me, too. I started spotting the Tuesday before and was in the ER Wednesday night. Bleeding was pretty bad on Thanksgiving. The worst part is that since I wasn't drinking, my family guessed right away that I was pregnant. I didn't have the heart to tell them I was likely losing it... Confirmed mc with my ob yesterday. They were so excited, talking about how next year we'd have a 4 mo old with us...It was rough. Plus, Saturday night our close friends announced they were expecting a girl. They had no idea, but the timing sucked.

lilyaster

@Jabreen I'm so sorry for your loss. I can imagine it must have been so hard to get through Thanksgiving. 

silentP

So, so sorry @jabreen. I kept thinking about how I would be about 30 weeks and wishing I had a big ol bump on thanksgiving. I had a pretty good day, since I was very distracted, but something was missing for sure.

FireInWonderland

Our thanksgiving we spent with the other residents in my husband's year group - it's kind of a tradition for them. It was really rough on me, too, because two of the ladies have babies. I don't know what was worse, finding out that the only other lady who was there is now expecting and at her 14 week mark, or finding out 4 weeks after everyone else because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I only found out because she wasn't drinking. After dinner all the guys went into the other room to watch football and the women stayed at the table talking... About babies. Someone slipped and mentioned that the other woman was expecting, and it got awkward and quiet. I laughed it off, said congratulations, and waited half an hour then went up to watch football with the men. I couldn't take it anymore. She called the next day to explain and apologize but, it would have been nice to know. They're my only friends in this city, and they were all keeping it a secret. I think it's such a delicate situation, but people should let you decide your level of comfort and grieving. When you know where you're at, don't be ashamed of it. I'm in a good enough place that I was more hurt about not being told than finding out - but it wasn't always that way. I hope you get to a better place soon.