Nervous FTD

xxarlannaxx

Hello! I am expecting my third child, however it is my husband's first child. I would really appreciate him being there for the birth of our son, I just feel like not only is that a moment that I would really love for us to share together but I also feel like this baby will be the last. I really don't want him regretting not being there for his son's birth. My husband keeps expressing that he would love to be present however, he's not very good with blood or seeing people in pain. He acts like he can be this macho, manly, tough teddy bear but in reality He gets disgusted and uncomfortable easily!! Not to mention he has a huge tendency to overthink things, his brain shoots into over-drive in a split second. I keep hoping that when the moment comes he will actually be so excited that he won't stress himself out or end up disgusted and uncomfortable and he'll stay to experience our child's grand entrance into the world. I obviously don't want to force him to stay and then have something happen where he faints, passes out or starts puking all over the place and he needs medical attention to go from me to him... But a part of me really really wants him to stay by my side. He's my best friend and I love him and I just feel like it won't be the same if he isn't by my side. Idk. I feel like a part of me is being selfish even though I'm not forcing him to stay or even really pressuring him to stay But I know that if he ends up having to leave the room I'm going to be really disappointed and hurt. Has anyone else experienced this issue? What ultimately ended up happening?

celainev

Uh, I would force him to stay. So he vomits or feels faint... It's his sons birth and he will regret not being there more than regret throwing up. Pack some juice in your hospital bag and have him sip on it if he feels faint. Make sure he has a place to sit down. Let the nurses know he is Squeemish...they are used to it. But definitely force him to be there. That's not selfish because it's his son too. You're doing him a favour.

ArtlessIbex

Just make him stay up by your head. Keep a chair close in case he feels faint. That's what my DH and I did. He really couldn't see anything from there so it all worked out fine.

cMichelle0423

It's different when it's your SO and your child. My husband thought he'd faint for sure and he was amazing.

groovylocks

I'm not sure what kinds of provisions your hospital/birth center has in place but our hospital can put up a curtain at the request of one or both parents. This way he can be there to coach and to help but can have control over his involvement with the gorier details.

xxarlannaxx

I'm hoping he's so overcome with excitement and adrenaline he doesn't even notice any of the gory stuff. But I have told him I want him to stay up by my head and hold my hand or talk to me. I don't want him down in between my legs watching THAT part lol I'm a little nervous it might change our sex life or change the way he sees me sexually (sorry if that is TMI). I just want him to be excited and I want him by my side to be my rock like he always is. I know he wants the same but he's so nervous of becoming squeamish and being more problematic than helpful. I have a really close family friend coming down before my DD to help watch our older 2 kids, maybe I should invite another family member down just incase he needs some breathing time? They can switch and he can take a couple moments while my family member steps in? I want to be respectful and make sure he's comfortable but I have never done labour alone, I always had 2 family members with me and talking with them and having them encourage me helped me stay calm and focus instead of feel scared and alone. But again I respect and care about his comfort level and want it to be a good experience for him as well, I just hope that he's the one I have by my side for it all lol.

ZoeyRaeJames

My hubby hates the sight of blood, or me being in pain as well! The best thing I told him he should do, is stay up close to my shoulders and head, and whatever he does do NOT look down there! Help him keep calm be reassuring him that things will be ok, and that he can stay up next to your shoulder and face/head. And if he gets queasy, let him know that it's ok to look away! Let him look at one of the walls, or walk to the other side of the room. Something like that. Or, have him keep face to face contact with you, IF he can do that. And if the SOUND of you even being in pain, or pushing bothers him, you can always invest in some good pair of earplugs! Those might help with the Sound/s arpund him, and keep him from freaking out too much.

This is all I can give you. Since my SO and I have recently talked about this.

Edited For Spelling Errors

xxarlannaxx

ZoeyRaeJames said:

My hubby hates the sight of blood, or me being in pain as well! The best thing I told him he should do, is stay up close to my shoulders and head, and whatever he does do NOT look down there! Help him keep calm be reassuring him that things will be ok, and that he can stay up next to your shoulder and face/head. And if he gets queasy, let him know that it's ok to look away! Let him look at one of the walls, or walk to the other side of the room. Something like that. Or, have him keep face to face contact with you, IF he can do that. And if the SOUND of you even being in pain, or pushing bothers him, you can always invest in some good pair of earplugs! Those might help with the Sound/s arpund him, and keep him from freaking out too much.

This is all I can give you. Since my SO and I have recently talked about this.

Edited For Spelling Errors

I never even thought of earplugs, That's a great idea! We had a talk last night and i think when the time comes he'll be ok (I certainly hope so anyway). I think he's just trying to mentally prepare himself for the event but just like every parent he has his concerns/worries and overthinks the situation at times. I will definitely give him the options/advice you have said and I think that will help him be more calm about it all. thank you guys!!

cMichelle0423

Unless he has his back towards your lady parts, even if he's up by your head, there's a good chance he'll still be able to see what's going on. DH tried that the first time and still got a good look at everything lol