Pregnant after a Loss

Wishing it was just that easy....

I saw a good friend today who told me she's unexpectedly expecting but excited about it. She and her husband have 2 kids. She thought they were done. Anyway, she's almost 7 weeks and showed me the pics they took with a banner that says they're expecting in July. They're showing family at thanksgiving. I really liked the idea but couldn't help feeling a bit jealous about how excited they are to announce. It puts me into basically a full on panic attack when I think about telling someone. Like my voice gets all shaky and I start sweating and can't catch my breath and can feel my heart beating in my throat. It's insanity. I'm so happy for her and obviously would never wish anything bad. But why can't it be like that for everyone? I want to tell my family on thanksgiving, too. I'll be 10 weeks. I can find the heartbeat fairly easily daily with my Doppler. Yet I'm still terrified to say it out loud. No real question here. Just a vent I guess.
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Wishing it was just that easy....

  • Completely understand. We've only told a few people so far. The other night I told one of my best friends and was/still am anxious after telling her.
    We are planning to wait until Christmas to tell our families. If we could, I'd likely want to wait longer.
  • Only me, DH, and 2 of my best friends know about our pregnancy.  We are only in our 4th week. I think since the timing worked out we will wait till Christmas to tell my family.  The world - who knows when... I will only be 8 (close to 9 weeks) which is when I had my loss.  I figure they will be the support either way. 

    My doc has mentioned a viability scan at 6 weeks....however I would love to hear the heartbeat before telling my family.  But then I also want to hear it again at 10 weeks, knowing I have made it farther.  Not sure how it will all pan out.

    One thing I keep telling myself is that I want to enjoy this matter how long I get with this baby.  My loss I was so disconnected and even though that baby didn't make it to could have been a better experience.  Just tell yourself you have no control and you really should enjoy it.  Embrace that bump!
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  • My doctor told me something that might make you feel a little better. While we don't "enjoy" our pregnancies as much as other women, we appreciate life more. We know how precious it is.

    She also used to tell me to, no mastery how anxious or scared I was, to purposely enjoy one hour of it every day. When she said an hour I felt like I could handle that, but not "relax and enjoy" the entire pregnancy like everyone else suggested.

    Thinking of you! Happy Thanksgiving!!
  • The first two times, I told DH, my parents and my sister the day I found out. This time I waited a week just to tell DH. And I'm going to my parents' house today (4w4d) and won't be saying a word. I can't even bring myself to post on the July bmb yet. I'm so jealous of the confident happiness other people have.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)

  • We waited until we were 20 weeks! At least you'll have time to come up with a fun way to tell everyone. Everyone was excited that we were so close, too. Since we announced so late, no one had to wait long!
  • I was planning to tell family today as well but despite hearing a healthy heart beat yesterday at 10 weeks, I'm still so fearful something will happen. Now I am thinking of pushing it off until Christmas when we will have had a third appointment and be out of the 1st trimester grossness. I'm also not sure I'm ready for everyone to know yet. I'm scared of them getting so excited, just in case something happens again.

    Two friends have posted announcements to Facebook that they are due in June. I wish I could be that confident to just shout it out and assume everything is good.
  • Same boat here- people in my local friend group know, and my parents, but I'm barely even letting myself know it!

    I'm 10wks today, and desperately awaiting a scan next week before our "harmony" blood test.  Hopefully baby is still in there doing ok with a strong heartbeat, and on target for size/date so they can administer the test. 

    Glad to be busy... it helps keep my mind off the variables.

    It must be nice to be able to feel like positive pee-stick = baby.  I wish I felt that breezy about it!
    1st Pregnancy: EDD 12/31/15; Diagnosed Turner's with terminal cystic hygroma 13wks; induced at 14wks, +3 d+c's.
    2nd Pregnancy: BFP 10/8/15; EDD 6/21/16

  • I know, it's not fair. I was never able to not worry because my first pregnancy was a loss. I wish I could be one of those women with the pregnancy glow, but im just a nervous wreck.
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