New here.. Confused how to feel...

TiffanyRickF

So my back story... I am 32 and have PCOS got pregnant twice before relatively easy with clomid in late 2010/early 2011. Third round of clomid pregnant despite husbands low sperm count low mobility, had a super early mc. Took a month off next round of clomid got pregnant again and had our amazing son (who just turned 4 on sunday).

Fast forward two yrs ago we decided to start trying again, 6 rounds of varying doses of clomid, i wasnt ovulating at all. 6 rounds of IUI with letrozo / gonal f and ovidel over 8 mts up to three follicles still no bfp... So we stopped, we already knew we werent gonna do IVF, we 150% accepted and were okay with it just being the three of us...when we had our last IUI three mts ago and got the bfn... No more fertiltiy apps, calenders, "trying" the miserable laying there after etc...

Three weeks ago I emptied out the extra bedroom filled to the brim with our sons "baby stuff" we sold/donated/tossed/gaveaway EVERYTHING, my period was suppose to start nov 1st and never came. I'm never late but didnt think anything of it cause honestly we barely did it in October and when we did I cleaned up immediately, also I had started taking a appetite suppressant trying to lose the last 15 lbs and thought maybe that was why and finally i felt completely normal minus some indigestion which again i assumed was the appetite pill. Two weeks ago I have my well women appt at my fertiltiy dr/gyno office and even mentioned being late but no one thought anything of it and peoceeded with pap. So... Monday this week was at work thinking about how at ease i was with our decision to stop trying and was thinking I should call my gyno and go on the birth control she had offered two weeks before to help with my pcos and started getting paranoid that my period was now 3 weeks late so i ran to the grocery store on my break, brought a test, and BFP! I called my best friend in tears. My husband ofcourse is excited but Im not sure how to feel... I didnt have this vision of another baby anymore. I went to dr office that day for bloodwork and got a call yesterday saying "you are def pregnant, bloodwork is righ on for 7 weeks, simce its so high, we arent going to schedule additional bloodworks just the sono" which isnt til next tuesday... I just dont know what to think. I am being so pessimistic that its annoying my husband but i cant help it. i dont want to get hopeful then be disappointed and i really had accepted and was content with it just being the three of us now. I know i will feel differently once the shock wears off and if the sono and appts go well. Sorry this was so long...

KidShrink

Life has a way sometimes...I think you're probably so shocked and afraid to be disappointed that it's leading to your more pessimistic attitude. Take it day by day, and once you get to see the little one, I'm sure your attitude will start to change.

Knottie4978096

Omg - I can't believe how similar your story is to mine, except I'm 40 and expecting my 1st. We went through all the fertility stuff, then completely failed IVF (all 12 eggs retrieved were abnormal). So we gave up thinking that we were going to have to do DE, but really needed a break from the disappointment. I went on a weight loss program that included a prescription diet pill and lost about 20 lbs. Then, over the following week I shot up 4 lbs. Since I was following the diet and exercise plan ruthlessly, I was perplexed. Then, my period was late. It's never late. I chalked it up to stress and a new job. But I got home from a business trip and just had to test in the middle of the night, and sure enough, positive. I woke DH up and he didn't get it, but drove me to the Dr. office the next morning for bloodwork. Same thing, strong positive, no need for second test. I'm 30 weeks now and this little guy has passed all his tests. They keep telling me he's perfect and yet I have really high anxiety. I didn't purchase a single item for him until the second trimester when his tests came back. I totally get the feeling, you're not alone.