I say just let the child and your step mother grow their relationship organically. Let your child choose a name for her if you don't like grandma. The more people that love your child the merrier, trust me my mother in laws husband who is my SO stepfather, loves that baby to no ends and has no kids of his own so this is the closest thing he gets to a grandchild. Although it was a little weird at first I'm so happy that my son has an extra person who is glad to take him out for daily walks and spin him in the air, or if I need a babysitter is always willing. So therefore I let him gain the title of abuelo. I assume either it will be there naturally or it will not, only time will tell!
Another thing I just remembered, my nephew's father's ex stepdad does more for those boys, than either of their biological grandparents on that side. (They live with my parents lol) Family is who you make it.
You're not being unreasonable at all. If you did want your child something other than her name maybe you could try what I did? My grandma was "Grammy" and my step grandmother was called Grandma Sara. Just because I wouldn't use that for a grandparent I was very close to, the added name makes it a little less personal. You could replace Grandma with anything from Nana to Mimsy. Just a suggestion for later on if you've changed your mind. I understand being taken aback by her expecting to be referred to as a grandparent so soon.
My paternal grandfather married my grandma Virginia just shortly before my cousins and I started to be born. She had an absolute lousy family, but she ended up being there for us almost more than my other grandparents. She defiantly eventually earned it. I'm very happy and blessed to have had all six of my grandparents even though not all of them had a hand in raising my parents. That being said... If the dude is a serial divorcee and you don't see her lasting that long... Totally a different story... But ultimately, I think kids will do what they do.
Re: Stepmother wants to be referred as grandma.
I'm very happy and blessed to have had all six of my grandparents even though not all of them had a hand in raising my parents.
That being said... If the dude is a serial divorcee and you don't see her lasting that long... Totally a different story... But ultimately, I think kids will do what they do.