Vent

doozer1345

So... We "find out" the sex of the baby December 23rd. My plan was to have a reveal cake on Christmas Eve with DH and my family at dinner. WELL... DH shot his mouth off at the doc appt the other day to the scheduler about how we are only finding out bc I want too blah blah blah (I told DH this time we didn't have to find out but he said it's fine bc he knew I wanted to)... He really hammed it up. So, I asked MIL if it was ok if we did the cake Christmas Eve or did she want to wait. She's been a bit obnoxious about this whole thing anyways saying she wants to know when we know etc. Now, DH is giving the envelope with the results to his Dad the day we find out and he is going to find a cute way to tell us on Christmas Day. Great, fine,whatever, BUT DH couldn't leave it at that and had to rub it in his mom's face that his dad was going to know before her (nah nah nah boo boo style...he's my 1st born child) and she's pissed. I am pretty adamant in her especially not finding out before me bc she was so obnoxious about it anyways. Now that she knows FIL will know on the 23rd she will for sure make him sleep outside until he tells her (and it's gotten COLD). She will torture him for sure and he always gives into her. Then she'll play the "OMG I'm so surprised with everyone else" look and I'll know it's a fake. It just really ticks me off. Now I'm going to research how in the hell I read these scans so when we go on the 23rd I'll be able to detect it right there on the screen. I'm sure I'm hormonal and whiny but come on... This will be our last kid and I just wanted to do something special that everyone will be involved in at the same damn time. Is that too much to Fing ask?!

Sunshinebins

I would be totally doing the same. So annoying! In fact, I would have someone else do the reveal gift just so she couldn't know. Mature party of 1 over here

wamam027

Definitely don't think that's too much to ask, not one bit. I get that the grandparents of all these babies are stoked (well, most of them) and I can appreciate that, but it's your dang kid and you should get to reveal the sex of your child the way you feel fit. I don't understand where people get off thinking that they are entitled to even finding out information about the pregnancy, sex of the baby, health of the baby, delivery of the baby, etc at the SAME TIME as the parents, let alone before them.

valerie4786

I agree with PP! I'd go back to the original idea of the reveal cake so everyone found out together.

doozer1345

@valerie4786 I wish I could but now DH is doing the whole guilt trip thing that I said "this time around we wouldn't find out but we are" even though I said we didn't have to. I'm kind of now not wanting to find out just out of spite.

@ncm0328 MIL says it's bc she has her consignment sales to go to and she has to make sure the baby has clothes etc. I think it's a total control factor to be honest.

I mean I honestly don't even care anymore about finding out and really am feeling spiteful ((hearing the Grinch song strike up)). Happy freakin Holidays!

Sunshinebins

Can you just have them tell you at the appointment and then bake a reveal cake for everyone else? That way you know first and take the control back.

Jesse835235

Just have them seal it in an envelope and give it directly to the bakery. You'll avoid some potential drama. I'd be so annoyed, too! Good luck.

Jesse835235

..Or bring a boy ornament and a girl ornament to the appointment and have the tech put the correct one in a gift bag (covered by a lot of tissue paper). I would avoid putting your FIL in that position.

proudparent2b

We're having the US on the 23rd as well. Our reveal will be to send gender related presents to immediate family to let them know.

Lusitano8

doozer1345 You should be able to reveal the gender however you like! like the PP's mentioned why don't you and your hubby bake a cake for everyone like your original idea. Or take the results in an envelope to a baker and have them make you a little cake? I love the boy vs. girl ornament idea, it's so simple and seams to meet all your needs so you guys can find out together. 

I'm totally in the same boat as you BTW. I told MIL I want to make a reveal cake for family, and she wants to know literally as we are exiting the doctors office and not wait a day later for me to make a cake and tell them. I just keep thinking I don't have to tell anyone if I don't want to!   

mrstmoose

Ditto what everyone else is saying. I would be passive aggressive and open it (whatever it is), and do it with just you and H. I wouldn't cave to MIL's obnoxiousness. She sounds like a grade A pain. And it sounds like your H is being super immature about it. 

gamommyx3

Stick to your original plan and have the cake.  If you want to all find out together then you should, and if your MIL doesn't like it she can suck it.  It's your baby.  Sorry I'm slightly cranky today, but it pisses me off that she feels the need to know before you even do.  And consignment sales?  That's the reason?  Please.  If it was genuine excitement that's one thing, but it sounds like she just wants to know so she can be first...and that's F*cked up (in my opinion, and as I said I'm cranky today!)  She doesn't get to be first...she already had her babies.  Arrrgghh you know what, just give me her number and I will tell her to suck it on your behalf!!!!

Jesse835235

I'm laughing out loud over here.  Go @knottie25455542!  Wouldn't that be something... Hi, this is Knottie... I just wanted to tell you to suck it.  Okay, bye.  Happy Thanksgiving.

gamommyx3

Exactly!!  Hi there, I'm a random girl from the Internet who doesn't know you from Adam, but I can already tell that you're a ridiculous human being and you really need to just stop.  Because ohmygod you suck.  So either be normal, or go sit in the corner and suck it, because you're adding waaaay too much stress to your daughter in law's life right now just by being you.  No.  Eat your f*cking blue or pink cake and shut it.

Seriously guys...so, so cranky today.

Wait!! Light bulb moment!!  Make the cake GREEN!!  The sheer enjoyment of making her head spin would be all the Christmas present I needed

mhc13

Just tell them baby wasn't cooperating and the results are inconclusive. I'm not a big fan of lying but I would be really fed up with others dictating how and when I share my news. When you feel good and ready show up with a cake since baby cooperated at your follow up u/s.

cortney626

There's no way I'd give the envelope to FIL. I'd tell DH how I feel about the whole thing. I'd either find out at the ultrasound then do a gender reveal with everyone or send a sealed envelope to the bakery. It would get under my skin if my MIL knew before me and rubbed it in my face. We're hormonal as it is. No need to put yourself in a situation where you'll get aggravated. Good luck!

LemmyRN

@doozer1345 Is your husband NUTS! Why does he feel the need to cause all of this family drama at the holidays. They are fricken dramatic enough! He's just sitting here...


If it were me, I'd have the tech tell me there, axing the envelope mess (thanks to DH), and maybe have a balloon reveal on top of the cake so she doesn't drive you crazy the whole day all the way up to dessert time.

Or you can let DH do his little stir the pot idea, and banish him to his parents house the entire time so he gets to suffer with FIL too.

doozer1345

Sunshinebins said:

Can you just have them tell you at the appointment and then bake a reveal cake for everyone else? That way you know first and take the control back.

I wanted to do this but now DH is playing the game of "the ball is in my court now bc we found out with DD." Honestly, this has nothing to do with the baby and everything to do with aggravating his mom and irritating me.

doozer1345

Jesse835235 said:

..Or bring a boy ornament and a girl ornament to the appointment and have the tech put the correct one in a gift bag (covered by a lot of tissue paper). I would avoid putting your FIL in that position.

OMG I LOVE that!!!

camillaandcarson

Knottie25455542 said:

Wait!! Light bulb moment!!  Make the cake GREEN!!  The sheer enjoyment of making her head spin would be all the Christmas present I needed

This is AWESOME.

Unicorn522

Could you call the office later in the day after your appt to find out? That way you can find out first secretly but still keep the peace and act all surprised

MrsYoung9311

Knottie25455542 said:

Stick to your original plan and have the cake.  If you want to all find out together then you should, and if your MIL doesn't like it she can suck it.  It's your baby.  Sorry I'm slightly cranky today, but it pisses me off that she feels the need to know before you even do.  And consignment sales?  That's the reason?  Please.  If it was genuine excitement that's one thing, but it sounds like she just wants to know so she can be first...and that's F*cked up (in my opinion, and as I said I'm cranky today!)  She doesn't get to be first...she already had her babies.  Arrrgghh you know what, just give me her number and I will tell her to suck it on your behalf!!!!

I need to be able to love your comment more times!!!  PREACH!!!