Pregnant after a Loss

Daring to intro...

I've been afraid to post on this board until I'm further along, but I realized that now is when I need support the most.  So here goes...

I'm 37 and I started TTC in January.  I got pregnant in February, had a MMC/D&E, then had a false positive two months later from residual hcg.  I got my second true BFP in August, which resulted in a CP a week after I found out.  I got my third BFP last Wednesday and...I haven't told my husband yet. 

Today is the day AF would have been due.  That was the day my temp dropped last time, and I miscarried the next morning.  I never had symptoms last time and my temps were all over the place, so I'm off to a better start this time.  But my temps are lower than the first pregnancy and my chest isn't very sore yet, so that makes me nervous.  On Saturday, my temp dropped and my symptoms mostly went away, so I thought it was going to be a CP.  My temp rose again the next day and I got a very sore, swollen lymph node in my armpit, which google says can be a pregnancy symptom. My nausea comes and goes and isn't very bad yet. I took another FRER this morning and it was very positive, so I'm okay for now, I guess.  4w1d, based on ovulation.  Due July 31st.

I made an appt for 12/23 at 8w3d, but then the nurse called back and said since I had two losses, I can come in sooner.  So my first appt is 12/11 at 6w5d.  I had a really hard time believing I'd make it to that 12/23 appt, but now that my first appt is only 2 weeks and 4 days away, it feels more attainable and I want to make it there so bad.

I feel guilty that I haven't told my TTC After 35 board yet.  I've done that once already, only to take back the news shortly after.  And I have this weird paranoia that telling people will give reality access to this pregnancy and it can be taken away. It felt safer when it was a secret.

As for my husband, I think he will appreciate the fact that I waited to tell him. He's not sentimental and hasn't been excited the previous times I told him. This way he gets to avoid some of the drama.

So that's my story.  Today I am pregnant.  And very, very nervous.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015
BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15
  •  CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

BFP 2/16/18
  •  CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18
  •  CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
•  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

BFP 9/24/18  • 
CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













Re: Daring to intro...

  • I'm so happy for you and that today you are pregnant!!  I understand the nerves I think we all do, it is just so hard to go through loss(es) and come out the other side with your chin up.  I wont lie to you these first few weeks are going to absolutely drag, but try and enjoy time with family and friends.  It helped me to put count down calendars on my phone so I knew exactly how far away I was from my next appointment, the end of the current trimester, and my due date.  As time goes on I look at them less, but they are still counting down to special moments.  <3<3<3 Hugs to you!!
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • Thanks @bntfroggie!  I alternate between feeling excited and doomed. Thank goodness my appt is so soon. My first baby stopped growing at 6w1d, so if I measure on track at this one, I'll already be the furthest I've ever been.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • @CarrieandRoy congrats!!! I'm lurking over here and recognized you from the Nov '15 and TTCAL boards. Good luck keeping busy and calm until that appointment :)
    Anniversary
    TTC since January 2015
    3/15/2015 BFP!
    4/15/2015 MMC  :'(
    2/25/2016 BFP! Hoping for the best!
  • Thanks @linnea625!  I remember you, too. :)
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • Congrats!!!! I totally get where you're coming from. Especially the part about telling people and making it real and then freaking out that by just having done that, you're doomed. Every time I tell someone I figure I will see blood the next time I use the restroom. I hope this is your sticky baby!! And this board is so supportive. You're right, you need it now. It's so helpful. Welcome!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Awe...this is exciting, congratulations!
  • Oh the hurry up and WAIT game! But, today you ARE pregnant and that's a true miracle in itself. Enjoy it even if it's just a little! Congrats.
  • Any chance your doc is wanting to do blood work? Mine had me go in the same day I got my bfp to start betas and progesterone checks.

    Congrats! We are due date twins based on ovulation...my doc may alter it a bit after a viability scan around 6 weeks.
  • My dr doesn't do blood work, so I'll have to wait for the first u/s. Good luck to you, @mrsmommya. I hope all goes well.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • Congrats!
    I have an early appt, too, at 6w3d. (One week from today!) It's terrifying, exciting and exhausting all at the same time. Take it day by day - I wish you the best!
  • Good luck @icecreamqueen609!  I hope your appt goes well!
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • Congrats! I didn't tell my DH immediately about this pregnancy either. It just felt like something I wanted to keep to myself for a while, so I did. Hugs to you and fx for your exam on the 11th!
  • Congrats!  So happy you are back!
  • Congratulations @CarrieandRoy !!! I've been rooting for you for well over a year - I am keeping everything crossed that this is your rainbow baby!
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 



    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

  • Thanks @AL_TwinCities! I think someone else may have had a similar name as me when you miscarried over a year ago. I started TTC in January. I've known you since my MMC in late March. I saw you've been posting on the July bmb. I lurk there but I'm afraid to participate yet. My symptoms are still mild and intermittent so I don't trust this pregnancy yet. It's really messing with my head. 4w4d today and really, really hoping it works out. Good luck to you, too!
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • @CarrieandRoy I am feeling crazy because I remember you so well - I did digging into my post history and found that you replied to my post on my first EDD in April. Mystery solved!! So I've been rooting for you since April ;)
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 



    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

  • @AL_TwinCities, that explains it! I've been rooting for you since then, too. If all goes well for both of us, I'll be glad to share a bmb with you!
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • @CarrieandRoy so happy to see you here! I've also been rooting for you since around May; former TTAL, and Nov '15 board member as well. I will be thinking so many positive thoughts for you! Today you are pregnant!!!!

  • Thanks so much, @spatter1!  I really, really, really hope I get to stick around this time.  4w5d so far.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • Yay!!! @CarrieandRoy so happy for you!! As you already know those first weeks can be pretty much torture! Hang in there, you appt will be here soon and with good news you'll feel better. I have been so back and forth the entire time. Each good appt/u/s gives you more confidence but the nerves and anxiety come back from time to time. So happy to see you here. Keep us posted.
  • Thanks, @ALC08! I only got my BFP 10 days ago but it feels like a month. Time is going sooooo slow.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • It's so bad in the begining! Each day crawls by, but it will speed up soon!
  • Ugh yes time is not your friend in the beginning for sure. It's a little better for me now at 18 weeks, but still feels like years between appointments.

  • *lurker*

    Congrats @CarrieandRoy, I recognize you from the ttcal forum, so happy you got your BFP. I wish you happy and health 8-9 months. It may seem like years between appt. but be excited that you are here now! Like you said, you are pregnant today!

    I hope to join you ladies in the near future. Best wishes.
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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