If only

fiorip

I've been on this board for a while but this is my first post. On August 4th I went into premature labor at 21.6 weeks and lost my son. Words cannot describe the pain I've felt this past few months. For a while I had been feeling better but this week has been specially hard on me, since this would've been week 37, the week my baby would've made it to term.

I am absolutely heartbroken and I feel I am losing it, I'm falling apart again, I could use some words of encouragement and insight on how have some of you who've been through this have dealt with this situation... I was so ready to be a mom and the holidays are going to be specially hard, I was supposed to have my baby with me.

kwrightnb

Hi there, first off I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. Although my situation is a little different I do know what it feels like to lose a child, and maybe sharing my story can help you out a bit.
When I was 25 weeks along with my daughter I went into the ER in extreme pain, they told me I was fine and sent me home. At 28 weeks I went in for an ultrasound and the technician told me my baby's heart stopped beating weeks ago.. They induced me and my DD was born last May.
I've had an extremely hard time coping with everything, but my DH and I decided to try again. Now I am 15 weeks pregnant with our second child, and although I am extremely stressed I have a good feeling about this pregnancy.
I hope you can stay positive and keep looking forward. Nobody understands why things like this happen and it's not really fair but your not alone

msunshine123

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. It's not uncommon to have your feelings of grief become more intense as due dates, holidays and special occasions approach. Have a plan for due date and holidays to help make those times more manageable for you. My husband and I limited the number of events we committed to and had planned exit strategies planned in case either of us just neede to get away. There is no right or wrong way to grieve - be patient and kind to yourself. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way.

MamaBish

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I read somewhere that grief is like the waves in the ocean. Sometimes it washes over you suddenly and you feel like you are drowning. Other times you are able to tread water.

Just take it day by day. Hugs

fiorip

@kwrightnb it does help to know I'm not alone, thank you so much for sharing. I'm so happy you've been blessed and wish you a wonderful pregnancy. Hugs.

@msunshine123 thank you for your kind thoughts. That actually sounds like a great plan, I'll definitely talk to my husband about it, we have so many family and friends commitments these coming weeks, I'm already feeling overwhelmed. His parents are visiting for the first time since we lost the baby, they live abroad and we visited them just a week before I lost the baby and We haven't seen them since, I'm afraid is going to be really hard on my husband since he is so close to his mother. Hopefully we'll make it through the holidays stronger.

@MamaBish that's the best way to describe it, thank you for your words. Hugs.