New here/child mentioned

Knottie43408147

Hello all. I wish I did not have to be here, as most of you might feel as well

I am 34, almost 35. My husband is 40. We each have a son from our first marriages. Earlier this year I started missing periods and new that wasn't normal. My OB did an ultrasound and blood work and didn't see anything and was unconcerned. My period came back March-May, then skipped June and then I had another one in July. I haven't had one since. We got married in October and I set up a RE appt. for as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. I knew that day that it was not good news, but she wouldn't say much since she needed to see my blood work. On Monday we went in and were told I have very low egg reserve and my chance of conceiving naturally or even with my own eggs with IVF are less than 1%. My AMH was 0.021 and my FSH was 24.7.

To add to the complications, my H had a vasectomy 5 years ago. He is waiting for an apt with a uro the RE referred us to. I feel so overwhelmed, in disbelief and incredibly sad. We do not have the money to pursue IVF with donor eggs and likely won't for at least a year or 2. I have seen some places that do fertility loans but at the moment I'm not sure we could do that either. Do any of you know what a typical monthly payment for an average 30k fertility loan is? I know it varies, just trying to get an idea of an average. I am having a very hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that we could spend that much money, and more, and still not have a baby. I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through this and I feel so much pressure because of the timing. She said that while I am not PM yet, she does think I will go through PM earlier than most because of the low egg reserve.

Sometimes I just feel numb and like I don't know if we should even try. Other times I am sobbing. What a way to start our marriage!  

Knottie43408147

Also, if anyone knows how I can change my user name, please share. I can't seem to find a way to do it.

Knottie43408147

Wow... Just reading all the posts is making my head spin. So many terms and steps and meds... You ladies are so strong.

rachlee2010

Hi..I am so sorry you find yourself here. I also was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve at 32 this past May.  While my numbers are slightly better than yours with an amh of 0.1 and my highest FSH was 14.2.  We were told that donor eggs is our fastest best option but not our only option.  We are in our third IUI cycle. The dr told us we have about a 2% chance of conceiving at home naturally a 5-8% chance with IUI, a 30-35% with IVF with our own eggs (assuming we respond to meds and make it to egg retrieval which they say we have about a 30% chance of canceling the cycle due to no response) and we have basically a 100% chance with donor eggs.  I was shocked they said 100% but two doctors told us that. I do have a 3 year old son who we conceived naturally and easily so finding all this out was quite a shock.  Luckily for us insurance covers IVF minus the meds. The dr said we would need the highest dose meds so it will still cost us around $7000 give or take but that we can handle unlike the 30K a full cycle costs. I do know they offer financing for IVF which we were going to look in to until we saw our insurance covers it.  

Its a lot to take in and it will take time but you will come to a decision that works for you.  I have cried more tears over all of this these past 6 months or so to last a lifetime.  I am still holding out hope we will get a baby with our own eggs. 

Good luck to you

wifeinraleigh28

Welcome and I'm glad you found us!  This forum is full of women struggling with similar issues.  It sucks having to be here, but I'm so thankful for the support.  I don't have information about fertility loans or anything like that, but I'm sure others will be able to jump in and offer up some advice.

In order to change your username, the easiest way to do it is to log in to the knot.  For whatever reason, you can change it from there but not through the bump!

Edited because I can't spell.

Knottie43408147

Thank you ladies. I wish our insurance covered it! This morning I feel very avoidant, like I don't know if we should even try.

wifeinraleigh28

I'm sorry you're feeling that way... just about everyone here has felt similarly.  You aren't alone.  At least for me, there are days where I feel so much more hopeful than others.  Try treating yourself to something nice and focusing more on the present.  This works for me.  The more I worry about what the future holds (or doesn't hold) the more hopeless I become!