July 2016 Moms

FFFC

13

Re: FFFC

  • MrsBinPA said:

    @stephweinstein  I'm absolutely serious.  Think what you want of me.  You haven't lived 36, almost 37 years being her daughter and unless you're in the same situation I don't think you're really in a position to judge me.

    I wouldn't say judging you as much as wondering if you realize what you're saying (which you seem to since you said it was horrible). I haven't lived with your mom but I do believe that, no matter what, family is family. You should both be being there for each other in good times and in bad. It just shouldn't be about who's moment of happiness or sadness is bigger than the other one's.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Married: October 23, 2010

    DS: 8/7/2013

    #2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016



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  • @PugsandKisses although this username is new I have been around a while and I agree that this is a community with rules and guidelines AW's need to be more respectful. Give support, get support, or f*ck off.
  • MrsBinPA said:

    @stephweinstein  I'm absolutely serious.  Think what you want of me.  You haven't lived 36, almost 37 years being her daughter and unless you're in the same situation I don't think you're really in a position to judge me.

    My mil died of pancreatic cancer while I was pregnant with my first. We have been there, feel lucky that yours is alive.
  • To me it is disrespectful. Excited/scared or not, if you do not have the 2 seconds it takes to scroll through the first page, then why should I spend several moments of my times reading your post and responding. Especially when I get a well thought out answer to the PP.

    @pugsandkisses

    Don't you think disrespectful is a bit strong here? No sweat off my back but I wouldn't take the bump so seriously that you feel disrespected by some unknown posting about their pregnancy.

    No. It is disrespectful. While even though this is online, this is still a community. Certain rules still apply. It is like you waited to post and get answered and some on jumped ahead of you, your post and therefore is pushing your post down. 

    It has nothing to do with taken TB to serious or not.  I have been on The Knot, the Nest and TB since 2005 (maybe 2006), and many other people find it rude too. Plus any other online community/forum too.
    But they don't.. that's the thing.  There are no rules except TOU which are moderated by the bump admins.  Maybe bump board cultures suggest to follow guidelines but there are no rules in regards to that.

    Agree completely. I find it hard to comprehend how this whole notion of unbreakable "rules" came about when this is a public forum whose only rules are the Terms of Use laid out by the site. And then on top of that, some people are personally offended or infuriated because someone "broke" their imaginary online rules? It's just totally baffling. 
  • LasscherLasscher member
    edited November 2015



    I can't stand the people that I know that have kids or are currently pregnant that have this habit of telling me every horrible thing they went through for their pregnancy, I'm 8 weeks in, I don't want the bad stuff, if I want the bad stuff I can use Google and make my self depressed all by myself. If I'm upset I can come here and look around, I'd rather have physical people tell me about positive things so I can make it through this trimester not freaking out every time I have a matching symptom with their horror stories. I have started to get a little snippy when they go on an on about their morning sickness and how bad it was, I do add some snoot and tell them I have yet to have any of it. I like the sass on these boards, I don't want to have to have it outside of here. I don't like feeling like that.
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    Side question, was my post about first trimester screenings ok? I figured since it wasn't a symptom and many people have gone through them or might go through it, it was ok?



    @thebigoaktree you know what - when I was pregnant with DD I hated it when people told me their birth horror stories. I found that the women who had easy deliveries didn't really talk about it unless asked, but the women who had rough times always volunteered their stories. Now, after DD's traumatic birth, I find myself doing (or wanting to do) the same thing to my family and friends. It's like I can't stop myself sometimes. I think maybe it's therapeutic to talk about and you almost feel normal or a weight lifted trying to bond with other women who have gone through (or might go through) the same things as you. I know after DD was born when I was struggling to process things, hearing women's stories of going through similar was really freeing and helpful to me. Maybe part of me wants the women I care about to be prepared for the worst and know they can talk to me if they're struggling? Or maybe I'm giving myself too much credit and the reason is more that it helps me than that I want to help others - I'm not sure. Either way I'm working on holding it in unless asked, because I know that it bothered me when pregnant with my first.


    @DobbysSock Thank you for recognizing this and working on it. In my opinion thus far I've felt like it wasn't done for my benefit at all, but more for the person who was traumatized. Hearing these stories doesn't do shit for me except make me irritated, anxious and it makes me want to avoid talking to that person about pregnancy.
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  • I can't stand the people that I know that have kids or are currently pregnant that have this habit of telling me every horrible thing they went through for their pregnancy, I'm 8 weeks in, I don't want the bad stuff, if I want the bad stuff I can use Google and make my self depressed all by myself. If I'm upset I can come here and look around, I'd rather have physical people tell me about positive things so I can make it through this trimester not freaking out every time I have a matching symptom with their horror stories. I have started to get a little snippy when they go on an on about their morning sickness and how bad it was, I do add some snoot and tell them I have yet to have any of it. I like the sass on these boards, I don't want to have to have it outside of here. I don't like feeling like that.
    image

    Side question, was my post about first trimester screenings ok? I figured since it wasn't a symptom and many people have gone through them or might go through it, it was ok?



    @thebigoaktree you know what - when I was pregnant with DD I hated it when people told me their birth horror stories. I found that the women who had easy deliveries didn't really talk about it unless asked, but the women who had rough times always volunteered their stories. Now, after DD's traumatic birth, I find myself doing (or wanting to do) the same thing to my family and friends. It's like I can't stop myself sometimes. I think maybe it's therapeutic to talk about and you almost feel normal or a weight lifted trying to bond with other women who have gone through (or might go through) the same things as you. I know after DD was born when I was struggling to process things, hearing women's stories of going through similar was really freeing and helpful to me. Maybe part of me wants the women I care about to be prepared for the worst and know they can talk to me if they're struggling? Or maybe I'm giving myself too much credit and the reason is more that it helps me than that I want to help others - I'm not sure. Either way I'm working on holding it in unless asked, because I know that it bothered me when pregnant with my first.

    I'll give two stories from the past week, there's a woman that is about 6 months along and likes to tell me how much she's hurting or as she likes to call it "giving it to me straight because most people think pregnancy is beautiful". Not once have I asked to know what is going inside her body atm. She also refers to her sea monkey as it and doesn't seem to be attached to her baby at all. Second story, out to dinner with 6 girls I haven't see since hs graduation. One has an 8 month old, while everyone is asking me how I'm doing, I don't know if she just didn't have any attention at the moment but just starts talking about her miscarriage she had at 10 weeks. I also really didn't want to hear about her first bowl movement after giving birth. It's things like that.

    Me: 30, DH: 31

    Married: May 16th 2015



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  • DH and I are fighting (which is really annoying) and he is shut away in a room doing homework (even more annoying) so I'm fully contemplating putting DS to bed and leaving to get ice cream.
    H. Foxe born October 22, 2013


  • @stephweinstein  I'm absolutely serious.  Think what you want of me.  You haven't lived 36, almost 37 years being her daughter and unless you're in the same situation I don't think you're really in a position to judge me.
    I wouldn't say judging you as much as wondering if you realize what you're saying (which you seem to since you said it was horrible). I haven't lived with your mom but I do believe that, no matter what, family is family. You should both be being there for each other in good times and in bad. It just shouldn't be about who's moment of happiness or sadness is bigger than the other one's.

    I don't agree with this at all. Just because someone shares my DNA doesn't mean I have to be there for them no matter what. Some people are toxic, and just because you share DNA with them doesn't mean you have to allow their toxicity into your life. I remember as a student nurse having an elderly patient whose adult children were not involved in his care, by choice. I mentioned to my preceptor that I was really horrified by his family not being there for him. She told me something that's stuck with me for years: we only see the person in this small window of their lives. He might have been very nice to me as his nurse, but I have no clue what kind of man he was to his family. If his children were unable or unwilling to support him emotionally, there is likely a history of behaviour that has driven them away. More often than not, when we see a patient whose family isn't super involved or supportive, it's because that person has been abusive, unkind, or toxic in the past. I don't begrudge those children or other family members keeping their distance.

    Not saying OP's mother is toxic, obviously I don't know one way or another, but clearly there is a history of behaviour that's leading to her having these feelings towards her mother. 


    I suppose this could be one sided because I'm lucky and have the most wonderful, loving family that I'd do anything for that would do anything for me.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Married: October 23, 2010

    DS: 8/7/2013

    #2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016



  • @stephweinstein  I'm absolutely serious.  Think what you want of me.  You haven't lived 36, almost 37 years being her daughter and unless you're in the same situation I don't think you're really in a position to judge me.
    I wouldn't say judging you as much as wondering if you realize what you're saying (which you seem to since you said it was horrible). I haven't lived with your mom but I do believe that, no matter what, family is family. You should both be being there for each other in good times and in bad. It just shouldn't be about who's moment of happiness or sadness is bigger than the other one's.
    I don't agree with this at all. Just because someone shares my DNA doesn't mean I have to be there for them no matter what. Some people are toxic, and just because you share DNA with them doesn't mean you have to allow their toxicity into your life. I remember as a student nurse having an elderly patient whose adult children were not involved in his care, by choice. I mentioned to my preceptor that I was really horrified by his family not being there for him. She told me something that's stuck with me for years: we only see the person in this small window of their lives. He might have been very nice to me as his nurse, but I have no clue what kind of man he was to his family. If his children were unable or unwilling to support him emotionally, there is likely a history of behaviour that has driven them away. More often than not, when we see a patient whose family isn't super involved or supportive, it's because that person has been abusive, unkind, or toxic in the past. I don't begrudge those children or other family members keeping their distance.

    Not saying OP's mother is toxic, obviously I don't know one way or another, but clearly there is a history of behaviour that's leading to her having these feelings towards her mother. 
    I suppose this could be one sided because I'm lucky and have the most wonderful, loving family that I'd do anything for that would do anything for me.
    So do I :) I'm very lucky, and so are you, it seems. But unfortunately I have close friends and family members who have families and/or in laws with major boundary issues or who have experienced different types of abuse in their pasts. I would never expect them to support those people without question, knowing their history, so I'm giving OP the benefit of the doubt that maybe there's more to the story that we don't know.
  • So many of you seem like a mean girl clique because some of us didn't join your ttgp group and don't know all your rules and stuff. I just wanted a place where as a FTM I could come and share not be judged because I didn't do it in the right spot or because I'm anxious about cramping and spotting I didn't search for the perfect thread and post there. Sheesh it's hard enough to learn all the stupid acronyms let alone remember them. Then to try and reach for support only to see that if i make one little mistake I will get flamed for it... Where is the sense of community when you become to scared to post because the queen bees might come to sting. Seriously disappointed in this group :( I wanted so much more community and support I need it since I don't have much of one personally.

    Try to ignore any meanness. There are lots of women here who don't join in :)
  • My confession is that I have almost posted under the "Names" thread a few times, but I'm too superstitious to do so. I lost my previous baby at 24 weeks gestation, and we had just named him. It made it that much harder. I'm afraid to say the names out loud or put them in writing. I just think it's bad juju this early on for me.
  • didi0308 said:
    So many of you seem like a mean girl clique because some of us didn't join your ttgp group and don't know all your rules and stuff. I just wanted a place where as a FTM I could come and share not be judged because I didn't do it in the right spot or because I'm anxious about cramping and spotting I didn't search for the perfect thread and post there. Sheesh it's hard enough to learn all the stupid acronyms let alone remember them. Then to try and reach for support only to see that if i make one little mistake I will get flamed for it... Where is the sense of community when you become to scared to post because the queen bees might come to sting. Seriously disappointed in this group :( I wanted so much more community and support I need it since I don't have much of one personally.
    As a newcomer, I have to agree with some of this. This board is only a few weeks old and some of us are just learning the ropes. I dealt with my infertility elsewhere and I want to be able to enjoy FINALLY being pregnant- and frankly all this bullshit is harshing my pregnancy buzz. And it might not be flaming but it seems like the same people are just trolling around waiting to jump out of the bushes and correct you. I'm probably going to get voted off the island for going against the seemingly powerful people here but frankly I don't put up with feeling like this in the real world and refuse to on a pregnancy board. I want to talk babies and bask in the freaking miracle taking place inside me and in all of you regardless of where and how you express yourself. I've been a good citizen and have avoided the wrath until now but I don't like seeing other people put on the ropes.
    Hey girl, hey. I also have dealt with infertility and loss. That doesn't mean I want someone to circle around me and throw glitter here because I am pregnant. This is an established community. Maybe this board is new but the bump isn't. It's know for the snark. If you don't like it maybe this isn't the right board for you?

    It's not an "established community" (whatever that means). It's a public internet forum. Your imaginary rules don't hold sway over everyone, and you don't get to suggest that people leave because you feel entitled to control an anonymous group of internet strangers. 
  • im pretty sure I'll fit in just fine @didi0308. I have no problem saying how I feel. I happened to agree with someone other than you this time. I'm sure we can all move on. I'm not looking for unicorns and rainbows and I'm sorry that you've dealt with what you have as well. I just thought some of it is was over the top and thought I would chime in. I'll see myself in or out when I see fit.
  • eh I just wanted a little more organization. That isn't too much to ask for. I was never a member of ttgp and I feel perfectly fine here. Everyone group hug, let's get organized and move on! Yay for July babies! Mine is currently giving me a horrible back ache, heartburn and hives.
  • Lol this white knighting is hilarious! Love the picture @SparkySunshine
  • stillcozystillcozy member
    edited November 2015
    @fairestblair I did apologize but I guess you missed that post. The added insults at the end of your posts were quite unnecessary.

    *edited after early post by accident
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


  • @fairestblair I did apologize but I guess you missed that post. The added insults at the end of your posts were quite unnecessary.

    *edited after early post by accident

    I know your having a hard time tonight but please calm down and maybe lurk a little more. @fairestblair was very kind to you. Her ending comments were towards another users. You can see this where she tagged that person before speaking to them.
  • I know I just felt they were unnessary. :)
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


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