I feel like everything I've wanted as a parent has been a failure. Breastfeeding hasn't been successful despite many visits to IBCLC, tongue clipping, chiropractor work, everything...so I'm exclusively pumping to give her breast milk. We nurse for comfort about once per day and she falls asleep, which I love but hesitate to do more often because her latch is incredibly painful on my nipples. I hope we can eventually get her back to breast in the coming months. Because I'm constantly using my pump due to low supply (every 2 to 3 hours), I haven't been wearing baby and even have had to get help to care for her when I'm pumping. We don't cosleep yet, she's 7 weeks old and I'm just too scared of it yet. We will cosleep when she's older, for now she's in a bassinet right by my side of the bed. So right now we are not breastfeeding, wearing much, or cosleeping....yet I strongly desire to raise her in AP style. Any tips for me to increase our bond despite these obstacles?
Re: AP failure
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Being an attachment parent isn't about following a set of guidelines laid out in a book, it's about listening to your child and doing what is best for them based on their needs, wants, and cues.
People get so caught up in the "rules" of a certain parenting style that they lose the essence of what it means to truly parent in a way that feels natural for them.
We have a snuggle nest that sits between us in bed. I feel safe with that. Look into it. I wear him in public and maybe once a day for a bit at home but I find myself even using the stroller more than expected due to back pain that occurred during my horrible pumping, nursing cycle that I did for weeks where I was doing one or the other every hour.
Anyway, if you're bonding through snuggles songs touch etc you're doing good! There's no right or wrong way to parent if you're doing the best you can.
I agree with a lot of AP tenets, but I didn't co-sleep, didn't babywear as much as I thought I would, and other stuff. My period came back when DD was about 4 months old, and it really messed up my supply. I was devastated at first. But then I realized if I just gave her formula about once a day, it was totally fine. My supply leveled off to meet that demand, I wasn't stressed, I could still BF, she got enough to eat -- a good deal all around.
The point is, sometimes you have to improvise. True AP is all about that, not about a textbook notion of what you "must" do to be an attached parent.