Pregnant after a Loss

Intro / Sharing Frustration (mc mentioned)

Hi ya'll!
I've been a lurker on these boards for awhile, specifically ttc after loss. My DH is 40, I'm 32, and we had a mc in July of this year and immediately started trying again. I got a bfp on Wed! I feel SO incredibly lucky!

I started spotting yesterday (which I know can be normal). My HPT lines appear to be getting darker and the spotting is mild, but I decided to call the doc. After waiting 3 hrs for a call back, she was confused as to why I called. I asked if I could get beta blood tests to confirm the pregnancy was going in a positive direction/peace of mind and she said, "well that's what your first prenatal appt is for." Huh?

I'm just confused and frustrated and I can't talk to my family about it. She wanted me to wait 3 weeks? This is a new ob/gyn to me and I'm considering switching...already.

Ok, sorry for my book. Thanks for reading and congrats to everyone - I'm truly happy for you. :)

Re: Intro / Sharing Frustration (mc mentioned)

  • Find a new doc. Some doctors don't believe in seeing you until they know they can see a heartbeat. I don't agree because my daughter wouldn't be here if my doc didn't see me and put me on progesterone.
  • It's switch, too. I had a lot of luck with a fertility specialist.
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  • @Cinnamon311 the system is so flawed. I basically demanded the test, in between sobs.

    @PlainJane8350 pending the tests, I think I may look into a birth center. There doesn't seem to be too many options around me!
  • I'm sorry..but keep trying. May be create a post with your area in this group and see if anyone can recommend a more sensitive O.B? My local group was really small and not very active, but you could always post in your local group, too. You def need a better doctor, I don't know why most treat the physical and ignore the emotional, especially in our cases. Big hugs.
  • Congratulations on your bfp!

    I'd consider looking for a new practice.  My doctor has promised me extra monitoring, and reassurance throughout this pregnancy, and so far has kept to this.  Even though I only did 2 early blood draws, she told me I could keep doing them for peace of mind if I wanted to.

    From my experience, it's not extra time out of the doctor's schedule, it's you just going in for a blood draw and having them call you with results.

    Good luck!
  • I'd switch doctors. She should be much more sensitive to your peace of mind especially after having a loss. My doctor wants the betas done so we all know where I stand. He knows how awful the waiting game is and is willing to have his nurse call in a blood test for me. It's literally no time out of his day. I hope you can find someone who understands how you're feeling!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I was concerned because I had to switch from a midwifery practice (who worked with MFM) with my son, to an OB with my subsequent pregnancies.  However, I could not have been more fortunate with my new provider.  She is prompt, responsive, immediately ordered bloodwork with I got my positive test for reassurance and has already decided she'll schedule an ultrasound at my 10.5 week appointment even though I had a great us at 7 weeks because a previous pregnancy ended in a mmc at 8-9 weeks and she doesn't want me to worry.  I emailed my dr. Friday because I had some cramping and when I called I ended up with a dismissive triage nurse.  She wrote back Friday night to make some suggestions and reassure me and emailed me Monday morning to check in on how my weekend went.  DO NOT SETTLE for dismissive and ambivalent care.  I was never super comfortable with my first pregnancy because they always felt dismissive and I stayed because they were highly recommended and they screwed up over and over.  I should have known from the beginning when I felt like I was being blown off that I needed to find a better fit, but I was insecure because it was my first pregnancy.  Never. Again.  I understand part of this is just learning to live with our own nerves and fears and that's part of life, but when a simple blood test can give you come comfort and ease your concern, why not do it?  Find a new dr.  You'll know when you've found the right fit and you'll be glad you didn't settle.   

  • I'd def. look for a new doc.
    When I got my BFP (after my mmc) a few days ahead of my expected period, I called and my doc scheduled me to come in immediately once I confirmed I was 'late'. I had my first appt at 5weeks and they checked to see whether I had a fetal pole.
  • Thank you thank you thank you ladies! Yes- plan is to find a new doc. It's good to know that there are practices out there that care.
    I just got a call back and my beta is normal and progesterone is "nice and high"
  • Congratulations!
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