I am 17 weeks as of yesterday and last week my bump popped out. I thought I was going to be happy and excited about it because I wouldn't just be bloated and feel like my pregnancy was invisible anymore. However, the last week has been extremely emotional between work problems and feeling alone in my relationship. Im not enjoying being pregnant and I know I should be grateful because I've been so scared about a miscarriage but this is a lot.
My husband has repeatedly told me he misses going out for drinks together, he doesn't want to have sex anymore because of my belly, and he's been acting weird the last week. Also, I am a nanny and the family I work for is terrible. I feel like it's taking so much effort to keep my emotions in a good place and understand that it's all going to be okay but its overwhelming. When I say overwhelming I mean that I don't want to do this anymore. I know i don't really mean that and i would be devastated if I lost the baby so that's not really what i mean. I mean that I don't want to do all of this stuff. I don't want to go to work, come home and have conflict or feel distant from my husband. I don't want to be ignored all day while he watches football. I don't want to feel alone and NOT sexy at all. I don't want to feel like this is going to be the end of things. I feel like "Is this just how it's going to be?" is our relationship going to change into this and having a baby is going to mean the end of feeling close to my husband. Am i just going to be an unattractive mom? I've always been in great shape and in a generally chipper mood but right now I'm trending water. I don't recognize myself or what is going on in my life. I want to cry but my husbands so tired of me crying. He called me a debby downer. I don't want to beg for his attention. I don't want to feel these feelings anymore. I want to feel close to my husband and go out like we use too.