Stealing Thunder

dolewhipper

My sister is due Dec 22 and I'm due first week of July. My H and I were thinking of telling our families at Christmas, but my sister asked that we wait until her dd is born as to not "steal her thunder". I understood, but at what point would be appropriate? We're telling our parents on Thanksgiving and figured that enough time for their excitement for me to boil down and the focus to shift back to my sister. 

I would like to tell people sooner rather than later (New Years would put me at 13 weeks and I'm not sure if I can hold out till then). The good news is I won't have to worry about family figuring it out since I will be spending Christmas with just my sister and parents and Thanksgiving I have to work. 

calico34

Have you thought about kinda mixing your sister's birth announcement with your pregnancy announcement, like "Look who's born and look will already be a cousin this year!" or something like that...maybe sharing the spotlight.

LittleLunarMouse

That's ridiculous. Telling your family that you're pregnant is not going to "steal her thunder" when her baby is born. It's not like your family is going to ignore the newborn to coo over your belly or anything. Ignore her. You do you. I think telling at Thanksgiving is a good idea. There's a full month between your announcement and her birth, plenty of time for people to be excited for you AND her.

didi0308

Your sister is being unreasonable. You deserved your own excitement. Announce on Christmas and she will have to get over it.

FiancB

I think that's ridiculous. Maybe if she were also announcing. But it's hard to steal the thunder of a baby being born.

dolewhipper

didi0308 said:

Your sister is being unreasonable. You deserved your own excitement. Announce on Christmas and she will have to get over it.

Yea, that's what I really want to do. I came from TK and we had a similar theory, You only get One day. Because I'm spending Christmas with her though, and if she hasn't given birth by then, I would rather not deal with 40w3d pregnant woman who's pissed off at me. This can be her Christmas present. 

With all the support of not waiting until the first trimester, what about announcing to everyone around Thanksgiving? 1 full month should give her and her baby enough time.

dolewhipper

LittleLunarMouse said:

That's ridiculous. Telling your family that you're pregnant is not going to "steal her thunder" when her baby is born. It's not like your family is going to ignore the newborn to coo over your belly or anything. Ignore her. You do you. I think telling at Thanksgiving is a good idea. There's a full month between your announcement and her birth, plenty of time for people to be excited for you AND her.

We are definitely telling parents at Thanksgiving but we were going to wait till Christmas to "tell the world". Apparently that's not cool in her book.

ETA: I also don't know proper announcement etiquette, so there's that.

LittleLunarMouse

dolewhipper said:

We are definitely telling parents at Thanksgiving but we were going to wait till Christmas to "tell the world". Apparently that's not cool in her book.

ETA: I also don't know proper announcement etiquette, so there's that.

Oh I gotcha. I'm not sure there is "proper" etiquette. Is she usually the selfish type? I get wanting your birth to be important and special, but that isn't going to change just because someone else is pregnant too. How did you plan on telling the rest of the world? Facebook?

didi0308

dolewhipper said:

didi0308 said:

Your sister is being unreasonable. You deserved your own excitement. Announce on Christmas and she will have to get over it.

Yea, that's what I really want to do. I came from TK and we had a similar theory, You only get One day. Because I'm spending Christmas with her though, and if she hasn't given birth by then, I would rather not deal with 40w3d pregnant woman who's pissed off at me. This can be her Christmas present. 

With all the support of not waiting until the first trimester, what about announcing to everyone around Thanksgiving? 1 full month should give her and her baby enough time.

I am a firm believer of tell whoever whenever you feel comfortable. I'll be 10 weeks on Christmas and we are telling all family and friends. We won't do a "public" announcement until later on though.

dolewhipper

LittleLunarMouse said:

We are definitely telling parents at Thanksgiving but we were going to wait till Christmas to "tell the world". Apparently that's not cool in her book.

ETA: I also don't know proper announcement etiquette, so there's that.

Oh I gotcha. I'm not sure there is "proper" etiquette. Is she usually the selfish type? I get wanting your birth to be important and special, but that isn't going to change just because someone else is pregnant too. How did you plan on telling the rest of the world? Facebook?

She's not usually selfish so I was surprised by her attitude. We planned on calling the people that might get peeved they found out via FB the day we post it (or calling important people, like grandparents). I'm 1 of 7 with a family who can't keep secrets, so we already have a running list of people to call the same day we post the announcement online.

blackgirlmagic

I feel like you should still be able to tell your family on Christmas that you are pregnant. I'm not sure how you being pregnant is going to steal her thunder just by announcing that you are pregnant. I could understand if your sister went into labor and then that day you announced you are pregnant would be "stealing her thunder", but other than that I don't see it. I just think your sister is being selfish. Sorry not so sorry.

megstervt

I think she's being silly and you can do whatever you want, but I am a big one for keeping the peace so would probably do as she asked.  I would think that she would want you to tell before not after though.  Telling everyone after seems more thunder stealing to me, but whatever.  Can you still tell your DH's family on Christmas and then wait until a little later to tell yours?  That way you get to tell some people when you want, but you're also honoring what your sister wants?

dolewhipper

megstervt said:

I think she's being silly and you can do whatever you want, but I am a big one for keeping the peace so would probably do as she asked.  I would think that she would want you to tell before not after though.  Telling everyone after seems more thunder stealing to me, but whatever.  Can you still tell your DH's family on Christmas and then wait until a little later to tell yours?  That way you get to tell some people when you want, but you're also honoring what your sister wants?

The only family of dh's we would see at Christmas is his mom and brother, who we're telling at Thanksgiving. Everyone else is scattered and not as close to, and we would tell via FB.

LittleLunarMouse

dolewhipper said:

She's not usually selfish so I was surprised by her attitude. We planned on calling the people that might get peeved they found out via FB the day we post it (or calling important people, like grandparents). I'm 1 of 7 with a family who can't keep secrets, so we already have a running list of people to call the same day we post the announcement online.

Well darlin I say you stick to your plan. There is a good chance that she will give birth before Christmas and her request will be for naught, and if she hasn't given birth yet, so long as she doesn't go into labor that day, then you still go ahead as planned. Trust me, everyone will be excited for you and equally as excited for your sister. She doesn't really get a say in your decisions tbh.

We also plan to announce on Christmas, and nothing and no one will keep me from doing that. Don't let her rain on your parade, cause that's what she's trying to do! She'll get her big day regardless of what you decide.

dolewhipper

LittleLunarMouse Thanks for the support!

LittleLunarMouse

@dolewhipper anytime!

DobbysSock

She's being unreasonable. I maybe wouldn't announce a pregnancy on the day my sister announces her new baby, but she gets one day. Nobody is going to care less about her baby just because they find out you're pregnant.

ETA: pressed post too soon! It comes down to how badly you want to announce on Christmas and how badly you want to avoid her being mad at you. You wouldn't be wrong at all to announce when and how you want, but she would be wrong to get mad at you for it

trucksntutus

What? Your sister is being ridiculous in thinking it will "steal her thunder" when you announce your own pregnancy. You deserve just as much celebration as she does. In fact, she should be excited for you, not worried about the spotlight being taken from her.

The entire thing is just silly!