Dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions while ttc after a loss

JayK2

Hi Ladies,
We lost our first little one to a MMC at around 7 weeks in August , where we got pregnant without even trying. We have been TTC again since AF returned a month later ,but no BFP just yet. Wondering if any of you have any tips on dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions that I for one seem to go through on a monthly basis. From grieving the loss to excitement for a new pregnancy to disappointment with every BFN and the fear of not knowing yet if my body will carry a baby to full term. I absolutely hate it when people say to us... at least you know you can. As all of you ladies know there are two important parts to it ,both being able to conceive and then being able to carry a baby. Any help would be most appreciated. Wishing us all a happy and healthy pregnancy in the near future x

BornReady

While I can't speak to TTC after a miscarriage just yet, I did take over a year to get pregnant with my first. It was the most emotionally draining year of my life. I wish I had some wisdom to impart on you, but my year mostly was full of grief, regret and anger that I waited "too long" to try to get pregnant etc. The only comfort I personally had was temping / charting which at least made me feel like I was actively doing something to get pregnant and also gave me a clue that when my temp dropped, AF was coming.  Additionally, it was information for when I had to eventually start fertility testing. 

I'm only one week post-miscarriage now and I'm already having this roller coaster of emotions which freaks me out for what lies ahead. Just a different type of trauma all triggering the same stuff for me. 

Good luck to you. 

queenklau

Hi, sorry about your loss. I going through my second loss and benched from ttc, but can tell you from my previous mc that it is all about time and being honest with yourself.

1-Let yourself feel whatever you feel, do not bottle it up.
2-Take it one day at a time, focus on the next milestone (getting AF, WTO, HPT)
3-Don't get frustrated, it may take time.
4-Also, get distracted, don't make it all about the BFP, It may seem like it is all that matters now, but also find other activities/hobbies that make you happy.

Those are just a few suggestions, good luck and I hope you get your rainbow soon

MamaBish

It's so hard. I'm sorry for your loss. 

I am on month 5 ttcal and I feel a little crazy. It's a constant struggle between thinking we are out this cycle and that small shred of hope that maybe this is the month, and then the fear that creeps in about the possibilities if it is in fact a bfp.

I guess I don't really have any useful tips other than focus on the end goal, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

JayK2

So sorry to hear about your loss xxx I hope you are feeling the love and support of your friends, family and everyone that has been through it here. Thanks for the tip re. charting and temping. Have been charting but it has been so difficult since the MC as my cycle is a bit all over the place. Think we'll just keep trying in the short term and hopefully it will happen. Hope that we both are blessed with little ones in the not too distant future xxx

JayK2

Thank you MamaBish x helps to know that it's not just me that feels this way xxx hopefully we'll get that BFP soon and be blessed with a little one.

JayK2

So true klauerinaking x but so much easier said than done isn't it? So sorry to hear about your two angels x Please God it will happen for us both soon too and we'll be blessed with little ones xxx

valleric

We tried for a yr before I became pregnant. Then had a mc at 9w. It gets easier as the months go by. Trying sucks and mc is the worst