Keeping it romantic - how do y'all do it?

NordyMN89

Alright ladies - you know how it goes...it's CD10 time to start BDing. Doesn't matter how you're feeling about yourself, you want this baby more than anything, so you get to it. And then again every other day after for like 10 days. After a year of TTC it's just not fun anymore. Having the doctor tell you, ok BD on this day at this time, it's great, but it doesn't mean you're feeling it.

So, what do you ladies do to keep things romantic? Any suggestions as to how to keep this as fun and sexy as possible?

Thanks and FX for all you ladies that this is your month!

bsckgb7

An RE should be pinpointing your O day within a few days, so technically only BD for 3-4 to get KU.  Are you seeing an RE since you have been trying for over 1year?

I like lingerie or a nice bath with the hubs to switch it up.  

ETA:  That doesn't mean you BD for 3-4 days and magically get KU.  Most RE just pinpoint O so you can time sex around that exact time which is usually a 3-4 day window.  

ErikaMG

I totally fail at this, so I'm following!

PCOSbaby

This was a topic of discussion in our house last night. I agree...it's no longer fun. Knowing we have a small window to BD turns it into an item to be checked off our "to do" list. It just sucks.

We've tried role playing recently and that was kind of fun. I'll be following this for more ideas!

KidShrink

After almost 2 years and 3 TI cycles, DH asked to switch to IUI as he hates having the pressure to do it at a certain day time, many times. The pressure was making it hard for him, and somehow doing it in a cup was better. It's sad, but that's how it is, and now we can enjoy ourselves. I tried lingerie, and a whole host of other things, and he just read right through it.

makeupartistwife

I think that its great that your trying to keep it fun!! I know for us I will book us a room every couple of months somewhere nice and make reservations for a "fancy" dinner.  Then when we get back into the room I will do my best to cater to him. He is a chef and so I will massage his feet and back.  If our finances are a little tight at the time I will make a nice dinner something like redwine braised short ribs with whipped potatoes and balsamic glazed greens, turn on "the game" in his case its computer games or video games and leave him alone after we eat to relax and then snuggle up to him and relax...it helps put him in a relaxed state and not under the gun...but honestly I think me not talking about it all the time anymore is really what helps I do my best (not that it always works) to lay off the baby making talk if its not important for him to know. If its just me wanting to talk about it because its consuming my thoughts I try to go for a walk with my dogs or call my mom or a gf to talk. Hope some of this was helpful best of luck

Drove2u

I agree with @makeupartistwife I don't talk about it with my husband so he has no idea when I'm ovulating or when I'm close to it. So even with iui I still want to bd so he doesn't know he has to do it in a cup until the day before. And then after iui there is no pressure. I always tell him "I just want to have sex" and I even pretend I don't know when I'm ovulating. This is all just to take the pressure off. Also I do naked yoga but that usually lasts for 2 minutes. Lol. Unfortunately there is a lot of acting involved. But you have to do it to keep the pressure off. I would never tell him "ok we have to bd on this day and that day" that just wouldn't work for him. I try to make it seem spontaneous even though it's so planned. Hahaha

PCOSbaby

That's a good idea! I'm going to keep my mouth shut about the specifics.

Winnie81_Old

This thread had me analyzing our routine and I think it's time to add some spice. Sometimes all I do is go into his office(at home) and sit on his lap. Other times we just make sure neither one of us is hangry and everything falls into place. We once tried to have a really nice and romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant(one of those Brazilian endless meat places). We both thought if we starved ourselves all day that we could get more bang for our buck...just ended up pissed at each other during ovulation time. We were young and dumb lol. Also, I know everyone is different, but my DH has a shared calendar with me on his phone, which warns him when I start my period so that he can be nice, as well as lets him know when my FW is. It's helpful for me because we don't necessarily have to talk about it, which can potentially be a mood killer. Sometimes it makes it easier for him to take the initiative too.

thejessicanicol

DH and I are doing IVF so we don't "have" to BD but we have had such an amazing sex life I thought I'd share lol. We were both previously married and very rarely had sex with our partners. I didn't even get enjoyment from it. I realized during that time that, yeah, he wasn't so great to me but I wasn't really giving him a reason to do sweet things for me. 

This time around DH and I do sweet things for each other just randomly and it translates into the bedroom. In the middle of the day I'll send him a quick text saying something that I admire him for and sometimes he'll do the dishes for me, little things like that. Sweet things like that make us want to be intimate with each other. We do something sexual roughly 4-5 times a week. It helps us to relieve stress and we stopped thinking about trying to make a baby and just enjoyed each other. We did this for a year before finding out IVF is our only option.

It's amazing what little things during the day can do GL to you!

NordyMN89

There are some great ideas here, ladies! Thank you!

We're going to take dance lessons, thinking something sexy/sensual like Salsa dancing, switch it up a bit from the old dinner and relax routine.

@Drove2U - naked yoga, that's a good one!

Drove2u

@cwirth89 just to be clear---we do naked yoga at home. Hahahah not in public.