Getting annoyed by the "Is it a boy or girl question"

MrsOdom2488

My SO and I announced on Halloween that we are pregnant. And I have been swarmed with people asking me "so do you think it's a boy or girl?!" And I just want to tell them I DON'T CARE!! MY only hope is for a healthy baby!! I can't believe this many people are more worried about the sex of a child than the health. The question in itself is just so annoying to me. And then people ask me how I'm feeling and I tell them that quite frankly I've felt like sh*t all day everyday for 5 weeks now. And they're initial response is "OMG I bet it's a girl!!!" UGH it just gets on my nerves. And maybe I'm just being hormonal. Anyone else get annoyed by this? Thanks for letting me vent!

MynaBird

I'm with you. It only gets worse, too, especially if you decide not to find out the baby's sex. Some people just can't comprehend that not being the most important thing in the whole world to know.

Lyette1206

My father asked me to "see what I can do" about making this one a boy (already have a girl). It pissed me off so much. My husband and I would be thrilled with another girl, or a boy. I just want to ask him if he'd really be that disappointed by another healthy granddaughter???

theatremandy

Oh yeah, I can't wait for this. We have 3 boys. I'll bet I hear comments about trying for a girl every day. I honestly don't care one bit of it's a boy or girl.

mrsschmity

I can understand your frustration, but I don't think people are trying to be offensive. It's like the default question that everyone asks as soon as they find out you're pregnant. Kind of like the same questions you get asked after you've been dating forever..."When are you going to get married already?". Or the second you get married everyone immediately starts asking when you're going to have babies. 

Babies are so exciting and new, so everyone outside of your pregnancy just wants to know all about it. Asking if it's a boy or girl, or whether you're going to find out, is probably better than them asking how your constipation is treating you or how many times you've shit today, right? I get it though. 

*Edited because words are hard

NLewis1

We have a boy already and I'm SO tired of people saying its "probably a girl!" Since we already have a boy. Last time I checked science doesn't just decide the sex of your second born based on your first.......

FutureMrsCAF

My in-laws are insisting this one is a boy. Um, ok?... We wait until birth to find out, so I have a feeling it's going to get old(er than it already is) fast. In fact, MIL bought DD a snow suit (which I'm very thankful for) but it's very clearly a boy snow suit (not just gender neutral), "for the future" as she said. Eyeroll.

meggyme

I haven't had too many people ask if it's a boy or girl yet, because they know it's still early, but asking whether I'd prefer a boy or girl seems rude. I didn't get pregnant so I could have a preference and then have everyone think I'm disappointed if it's not the sex I prefer.

VikingGirl12

I also hate when people say "let's hope it's a girl!" Since I already have a DS. What if I want a houseful of boys??? I really don't care what it is, leave me alone.

LizM61409

I'm also sick of the gender prediction threads. That chinese chart or whatever is complete BS.

I heard a good response from a colleague when asked by a stranger what she was having... "it's a secret". I heard her say it, then after we walked away from the person I asked her what was up, since she had already told people its a boy. She said that it IS a secret from random strangers!

DeePaddy24

When we told my DH's family earlier this week, I was told "well look around, it's obviously going to be a boy." Um, sure?! They also all started listing off names, like they get some sort of final say in our unborn child's name. Hate to burst their bubbles, but that's not how it will be working. 

Luckily no one has asked yet if we know what it is...I think common sense has helped with that. We'll see what happens in the next coming weeks...

Mr0616

So not many people know yet, but I am fully prepared to answer this question with (DH has already gotten this question):

I don't know, we are hoping it's a unicorn.

Lilwatz

I think you all need to find your zen because we've got a whole lot more months of this question.  

I try to look at it as them being excited for me and that's the only stupid thing they know to say.  It will grow as you get more pregnant.  They will ask first if it's a boy or a girl, then it's name, then once they know everything it will be "How are you feeling?" all the time.  Yeah, it's annoying, but it's also because they are excited for you.  That's a good thing.  As awkward as it is to say, "Great" with a smile when you have severe pain down your leg all the time from the baby pressing on the wrong part of your body.

goldie987

We're planning on saying "hoping for human" if it comes up.

MamaNicoleof3

Oh gosh. As PPs have said, it gets so.much.worse. All pregnancy questions are annoying *eye roll*

"What is it?"

"It? I'm hoping 'it' is a kangaroo."

vulpini

They probably don't really care. It's just standard small talk when talking to a pregnant woman. "When are you due?" "Is it/ do you want a boy or a girl?" "Do you have a name picked out?" "Did you finish the nursery?" No one except those closest to you really cares about the answers to any of these questions. They are just asking to show interest and be polite.

hellomommas

I feel so confused when people ask me if we were trying for a girl (because we have 2 boys)... Last time I checked, you can't "try" to have either/or... And secondly, I love my boys.. Which is why I want more (babies)... And third, I would never have another baby just because of a hope that it is a certain gender. That is dumb. Kids are way too much work to commit to just because you want a certain experience. We love who God puts in our family. Simple as that. Would I love to have a girl? OF COURSE! Would I love another boy? OF COURSE! The two boys I have are not the "same"-- another boy won't be the "Same".... It's not like its boring having all of one kind! All kids are different and they are a joy to get to know and love no matter what they are! SO STOP ASSUMING I MUST ONLY WANT A GIRL! Ahhhhh....

june2016baby

Oops! 'Cause I've asked that to pregnant friends! Although, truthfully, they've mostly seemed excited to talk even more about the baby!

I was asked that A LOT last pregnancy when I already had two boys. I straight up told the truth, that I was ready for a girl. But that we would have gotten pregnant even if God himself had told us a third child would mean another boy. We just wanted another baby to love.

GinnyJ2012

Another with two boys here. Everyone keeps asking if I want this one to be a girl, or saying they think this one is a girl. Mothers intuition says baby is a boy, but I'm only 50% right so far. I figure my odds are about the same this time.

At this point I'm just trying to not puke and waiting for my NT scan to make sure baby is still looking good. I'm not too worried about what's between the baby's legs. We plan on finding out boy or girl though since DH is building custom bunk beds soon. We need to know if we should make them triple bunks for sleepovers or for a house of 3 boys.

KayDray15

We say "we are really hoping for a velociraptor, but I guess it would be OK if its a regular baby."

We are not finding out the gender either, and I don't get why that is so hard for people to understand. It is completely irrelevant if we have a boy or girl. We will buy the exact same crib, exact same play yard, exact same blankets and what not regardless. We have names for each geneder ready to go ( which is a whole other thing that bugs the s*it out of me. Idgaf what your opinion on my kid's name is. You think blahblablah is a good name? Great! Have a baby and name it that!)

We do have a long way to go though. Just wait until you get round enough that strangers think it is OK to just walk up and touch your belly...

marriedtoadutchman

I agree with some other ppl that it only gets worse. We have three boys and I can just imagine the comments we will get. We knew with our last DS what we were having but didn't tell anyone and ppl were constantly making comments about they hope we were having a girl.

FutureMrsCAF

I agree that we do have a long way to go and lots more questions to answer, but this one bugs me the most. I just don't see why it matters. I'm having a human. If we knew DD was a girl while I was pregnant, I wouldn't have decorated her room like a pink princess vomited after having too many cupcakes before going for a unicorn ride, and the same applies to a boy. Maybe this is an UO, but I let DD figure out what she likes. She has dress up clothes and toy cars. Just because she has ovaries doesn't mean we treat her differently than we would a child with a penis.

That's why this question bothers me so much. I know people are excited, but I just don't think the sex of the baby matters. At all.

Knottie86418473

I've definitely asked people before and like some users above said, it was out of politeness or not really knowing what else to say. If someone you don't know well tells you they're pregnant, it's sort of the natural reaction. After "congratulations", the convo can quickly dry up, esp if you don't have kids so have nothing to reference (and "good luck" seems sort of crass). That being said, since only DH and BFF know, I haven't had this question yet but I'm sure it will get old fast. I'll try and be polite to strangers. However, if it escalates to a stranger touching my belly uninvited, they're getting an aggressive belly rub right back!

mrsschmity

I don't think the sex of the baby matters either, and ultimately I don't think other people really even care. It's small talk. They don't care whether you're having a boy, girl or penguin. They're just asking because it's the next logical question to ask a pregnant woman after asking "how are you feeling".

My family and H's family know, and a handful of my co-workers know as well. I have already been asked the "Are you going to find out" question several times, and I'm not going to let it bother me. I love seeing people's reactions when I tell them "Nope! We'll find out in June whether this little bean has a penis or vagina!"

C'mon ladies! People are just excited. I wouldn't read into the questions too much. People are just trying to be nice to a pregnant lady.

pregoooooooo

That's how I am... I look at them like look at me... Me, I've put on a few pounds but I am barely notice able that I am pregnant... && that is the first question when I announce I'm excepting... Girl or boy && I think it irritates Me because I am a first time mom && I want know just as bad as they do... But everyone says they want a girl only makes me want a boy

MillerMama13

KayDray15 said:

We say "we are really hoping for a velociraptor, but I guess it would be OK if its a regular baby."

We are not finding out the gender either, and I don't get why that is so hard for people to understand. It is completely irrelevant if we have a boy or girl. We will buy the exact same crib, exact same play yard, exact same blankets and what not regardless. We have names for each geneder ready to go ( which is a whole other thing that bugs the s*it out of me. Idgaf what your opinion on my kid's name is. You think blahblablah is a good name? Great! Have a baby and name it that!)

We do have a long way to go though. Just wait until you get round enough that strangers think it is OK to just walk up and touch your belly...

I hated the belly touching! I need one of those shirts that say "I'm pregnant, not a petting zoo" or "if you didn't put it here, don't touch it!" And also one of the baby onsies that says "My Mommy doesn't want your advice" for after LO is born. I hated when DD would cry in public and every person that walks by says "Oooh somebody's hungry/tired/teething" I just want to be like "oh of course! Why didn't I think of that?! Only a random stranger would know a child better than the mother who spends ever waking second with the child"

PressLove

It only gets better with time.  He's a gem from my last pregnancy. 

Random lady: You're having a boy.  

Me (with fake smile): Nope, shes' a girl! 

Random lady: The U/S is wrong.  You look like you're carrying a boy.

Me (giving side eye): The U/S could be wrong, but the blood test says girl.

KayDray15

With DS when strangers would touch without asking I would yell "OWW!" Like they hurt me. A. They would immediately let go and back away. Embarassed, as they should be.
B. Bet they don't touch pregnant women in the future!

chelthorn

I honestly dread people wanting to touch me!  I cannot stand people to touch me anyway unless it is family so I really dread it! I have been trying to think of a clever answer when someone ask me what I am having.  I haven't came up with one my DH will go along with. 

mrsfifilefume

This thread is hilarious.  Its my first pregnancy, so imagine that towards the end of my pregnancy I too will be tired of people asking me questions lol. At the end of the day, I guess its the repetitive questions that annoy us, the other side of the situation is that  no one asks because they don't care.

I can't imagine random strangers touching your belly lol that is so invasive. Do people really ask that?   

MamaNicoleof3

Nobody ever tried touching my belly either time. Come to find out (DH told me last year), I have RBF. Think I'll keep it so no one tries touching this belly, either.

KayDray15

I am short and not intimidating and have a face that says "sure! Come touch me or tell me your whole life story" even though I have social anxiety and don't like strangers at all. Older ladies were constantly coming up to touch me. And once my son was born older ladies had no problem walking up and touching HIM! Maybe it is a Midwest thing? I was not happy about it.

Lilwatz

No stranger ever tried to touch my belly last time.  I don't think it's as common as people fear.

MamaNicoleof3

KayDray15 said:

I am short and not intimidating and have a face that says "sure! Come touch me or tell me your whole life story" even though I have social anxiety and don't like strangers at all. Older ladies were constantly coming up to touch me. And once my son was born older ladies had no problem walking up and touching HIM! Maybe it is a Midwest thing? I was not happy about it.

It totally must be. I always thought, "We're trying to take a walk. Quit putting your grubby hands all over my baby's face, you freak!!"

june2016baby

chelthorn said:

I honestly dread people wanting to touch me!  I cannot stand people to touch me anyway unless it is family so I really dread it! I have been trying to think of a clever answer when someone ask me what I am having.  I haven't came up with one my DH will go along with. 

Honestly, the only people who ever tried to touch my belly, were nice little old ladies. Yes, I didn't like it, but I don't have the heart to tell a little old lady "no" to that kind of thing. But I'm one that likes older people, and give them a free pass, where others might not.

june2016baby

I have noticed that ladies/couples who spend longer in the "trying to get pregnant" phase, are more likely to not care at all about gender. I do think this says something: that a person often values something more when it's been harder to achieve.

fishwife799

june2016baby said:

I have noticed that ladies/couples who spend longer in the "trying to get pregnant" phase, are more likely to not care at all about gender. I do think this says something: that a person often values something more when it's been harder to achieve.

Wow. So because I had not troubles conceiving my children, I don't value them as much as the mom who took longer to get pregnant?

hellomommas

fishwife799 said:

june2016baby said:

I have noticed that ladies/couples who spend longer in the "trying to get pregnant" phase, are more likely to not care at all about gender. I do think this says something: that a person often values something more when it's been harder to achieve.

Wow. So because I had not troubles conceiving my children, I don't value them as much as the mom who took longer to get pregnant?


Ok- we don't need to go there with taking this personally. There is truth in what she says that people could possibly care less about what they are having if they have tried longer... I.E. They are so thankful to be pregnant at all. And in general the value thing is true in a lot of scenarios in life... BUT I could care less about what my baby is, even after having 2 boys, and I couldn't be more obsessed with loving my kids--- I.E. The value I put on being a mother/ my kids is absolutely immeasurable even though I've gotten pregnant 3 times by just looking in my husbands direction *hehe* so... Anyway/ let's not turn this into a brawl. Everyone knows how much they love and value their own children- no one else can judge that.

bio-oesch

No one has ever tried to touch my baby with the other 3 pregnancies. 

Everyone knows how badly DD wants a sister so I know as soon as we tell everyone they will ask a trillion questions and make guesses as to the baby's sex. But that's part of why we are waiting until 14wks instead of 12wks to share the news so we will already know the sex

Corts

Tell these people that it will be a boy or a girl, for sure. Watch them scratch their heads. It's hilarious.

jennk0118

I hate small talk.. I always have. I do not like talking to people in the grocery line or at the bank.. or on the street. Strangers have asked if I know what I'm having.. (seriously this bloat!!) and I just said " Doesn't matter"..