My husband is making me crazy

klnorman

*If you're reading this, I'm about to go an a huge rant. Be prepared.*

Some days, I just want to strangle my husband. He claims on social media and to his family (even when I'm around) that he's super dad, and wants everyone to tell him how wonderful of a father he is.
News flash. He's never once woke up with her. She's almost 11wks old and I constantly do everything. From baby duty to house work and still manage to cook dinner and clean up the kitchen.
He huffs and puffs if I ask him to lift a finger. While I'm on hour 2 of sleep -all week- and going out of my mind, I still have to physically force my child at him to get him to get off of his lazy ass and help out.
Occasionally he will do dishes, but the way he brags about it makes me not even appreciate the little help I do get, when I get it.

I'm beyond irritated. I cry on almost a daily basis, and I get so frustrated when he wakes up when the baby is crying, I'm already up with her, and he's in the other room, and just shuts the door and turns off the monitor.. instead of seeing if I need help. Some days I just want to slap him. Especially when he says he's tired; and even more when we are around his family and he starts publicly thanking me for giving up my "me" time to come hang out with them. Last night he made me so uncomfortable; he kept this thanking shenanigan up, as if I never let his family see her, (they're at our house at least once a week) and his explanation to his family was because when he usually gets home he takes over and I get to nap and catch up on alone time. Let me tell you, I called him out, in front of everyone, for this BS lie. Never once has he come home and "taken over" or let me nap. I'm really over him trying to act like he's someone he isn't in front of people. I'm officially losing respect for the man I thought I married and am slowly realizing that he's just really good at selling himself and making everyone believe he's so much better than he is.

I go back to work in 10 days. I have no idea how its going to be possible with his version of helping and me still getting no sleep.
I honestly think I'm going to lose my sanity.

Im sure this post will never get read, but I needed to vent and have no one to vent to about it all.

*end rant*

irohspupil

Besides calling him out about the napping thing, have you talked to him about any of your struggles you just posted here? Have you had a sit down conversation about any of this?

irohspupil

Btw, I am so sorry. That sounds like an excruciatingly frustrating situation. I don't blame you for wanting to slap him.

psherman42wwsa

Sounds like he needs a day with just him and the baby! My husband was sort of similar and now that my maternity leave has ended he has started to help more. There was a couple days when I first started work that my husband took off to help with the transition. My husband had to wake up with the baby over night and have him all day. I think it was very eye opening. I would complain to him about how tired I was but since I wasn't working he didnt seem to care too much. Now that we are both back to work, we take turns getting up with him during the evening. Now that your going back to work, you will have to sit down and make a plan. ALso make sure that you stick with that plan and not let your husband get out of helping! lack of sleep will drive you crazy.. i know i sure was crazy for  a couple weeks. hang in there!

klnorman

I've talked to him about it and we end up arguing because he thinks I'm overreacting over anything I say.. And ends up brushing it all off.. And he continues to come home, hold her for 5 minutes, then go straight to his computer room while I continue to do it all. Then say I should've asked for help, but roll his eyes or gripe any time I DO ask for help.
I've tried leaving him alone with her for a few hours, but he ends up calling his parents to come over so they can have "baby time" as he calls it. They have her the whole time, while he does his own thing, too, then I get her when I get back.
it's just all so irritating. . Hopefully it really sinks in for him when we are both working again and he doesn't think I just sit home and do nothing all day.

I work evenings at a hospital, so he will have her alone every night for a few hours. I'm pretty worried about that.

irohspupil

Man, I'm so sorry. I wish I had advice for you.

I hope he gets a huge wake-up call once you're back at work. Hopefully he won't just ask his parents to watch LO during those nights :-(

psherman42wwsa

OMG i think our husbands are the same person!!

leannef88

I think all men are the same FACT. I had another big chat with my other half that i NEED more sleep. He works from home as well so there is no excuse. He seems to think him working all day excuses him from any other household or baby chores. We sleep in separate rooms so I have him 6 nights a week and my parter has him once on a saturday. I am so sleep deprived I constantly feel like crap and to be honest most of the time I feel I may as well be a single mum! You are not alone sweetie xxx

leannef88

I meant to say need more support not sleep but more sleep would be nice too!! Xxx

firstxmommy361

Once you sleep in separate rooms, it's pretty much over. Hope things get better for you.

jaquex3

I don't agree with it being over just bc you're in separate rooms. People bounce back from that all the time. Also seriously we could be married to the same person. It was so annoying hearing people praise him when I knew the truth. I think the only thing that really can help is to leave him alone with your LO. As scary as it sounds, it will help him learn how to read and respond to baby and to make him see how much work you actually do! GL.

tarheelgirl8

leannef88 said:

I think all men are the same

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but this is not true at all. Is DH perfect? Of course not. (Neither am I.) But the situations you ladies are describing are not ok, and you should not accept it because "it's the way all men are". It is not the way all men are, and y'all deserve better.