Newbie here...

khutch2012

Hey all, I'm 24, my husband is 25, and we've been together 3.5 yrs, married about 6 months. Anyhow, I've made it known I want kids since before we were engaged and he does want them, too, but I'm having a really hard time waiting. I've got friends and family, both, asking when we're going to have a baby, and it's not helping matters. I feel the pressure in that I already want it and it makes it harder, and he feels it in that he still wants to wait and seems to dig in his heels more with every remark.

We had a conversation after we got married and he said to give him year or two. Now if it comes up, he says how we still rent and xyz else, but doesn't make plans to change any of those things and gets upset when it's brought up. Last month I really thought I was pregnant and let myself get excited and was heartbroken when I wasn't. He seemed to be okay if that were the case, but didn't want to talk about it until it was definite. That and the fact that we have a niece makes waiting damn near painful. I try to think of him and his feelings in all of this, but I want it so bad...After all that, I guess I just wonder how others are making it work?

kcolly32

I can't help with how your DH feels but from my personal experience it took my DH about a year to finally get completely on board with TTC. I went off BCPs last November and for the first few months he was very hesitant and we pretty much DTD when I wasn't in my FW. Kinda frustrating but he wasn't ready so I waited. Fast forward to now and this past cycle he has really given it a full effort. I think DH thought, as did I, it would take a couple months and we would get KU. Now that a year is approaching TTC has definitely proven to be harder than I thought it would be but basically you have to wait till you're both ready. I found this board and TTGP a great way to vent and express concerns to other ppl having the same problem. It will also save DH from hearing you TTC talk all the time. WTO and TWW help a lot! Give it time and he'll eventually come around, Goodluck and FX!

Lysta85

Welcome. Lot of women on this board are stil waiting to TTC although most of us do have kind of a date when to start.

My SO also had excuses when to start. First he wanted to be 30 (which I found the most ridiculous reasons of all but bought him 3 years waiting) and some other things that made more sense. Now after living together for 5 years he finally gave in. But to be honest I carefully avoid to talk about the subject too much. I didn't wanted to give him the feeling that's all I wanted. So when I would talk about eventually kids they where always in the future far away. Some days where hard. My SO has 3 nieces so in the first couple of years of living together we had a lot of questions by his side of the family when we would start. We never answered those questions or been very vague about it. Luckily nowadays they pretty much convinced that we might never want kids.

Since you both agreed on having kids someday before you got engaged I wouldn't worry too much that it might never happen. Although it's important to communicate try not to talk about it too often. For my SO bringing it up once every 2 weeks or even once a month used to be too often. You can always use this board to vent or maybe a dear friend. Try to focus on what you still can do now you don't have kids or reasons why not to start a family right away.