Anyone else feel excluded

GoodSuri

These last few weeks are hard...i am expecting twins ad i am 35.5 weeks so the doctors dont want me to over do it...but all my family and friends are out and about...i am so excited for whats coming and meeting my boys...but its tough just staying in not keeping up with everyone else. Anyone else?

yl1m32015

No, I've been on bed rest and I'm fine with it. I don't feel left out of anything or that I'm missing out, just that I'm patiently awaiting this next phase of life.

What are your family and friends doing that makes you feel excluded? Are there ways for you to be included?

Mizuiro007

I was just with having to slow down so much. I can't handle grocery shopping or anything like that anymore which was my main way to get out of the house. I recently figured out I do well just visiting family where it's relaxed and my family loves playing with DS. So I get out, get a break, and get to be around those I love. Maybe figure out what you can handle and see if some of your family and friends can compromise a little and work around what you can do.

GoodSuri

Most of my friends and family live further away.....I am usually just a busy bee so this is very new to me. I am nesting which is fun....and I don't want anyone to think I am not looking forward to this next phase....I am over the moon...just the last month of pregnancy is a long one. I can't wait to meet my boys!

LaceyH13

I imagine that could be difficult if you are more extroverted and outgoing. I am finding the solitude of pregnancy a sigh of relief as an introvert myself.

amye02

Eh, my friends have been "excluding" me for a little while now, which means I don't even get invites out anymore (early 30s they either don't have babies yet or have kiddos who are already in school). I know they're super excited about the baby I'm not taking it personally. Is there anyone who you can call and say you just need to get out? Go for coffee or lunch? I find when I do reach out my friends and family are happy to help.

BostonBaby1

GoodSuri said:

Most of my friends and family live further away.....I am usually just a busy bee so this is very new to me. I am nesting which is fun....and I don't want anyone to think I am not looking forward to this next phase....I am over the moon...just the last month of pregnancy is a long one. I can't wait to meet my boys!

I think it's probably a normal adjustment to solitude. If possible, try to enjoy the quiet before your twins arrive. Do you watch Netflix or knit?

*ETA- you could also spend the time taking an online course on finance or something that you feel would be more goal oriented for yourself.

GoodSuri

Thanks ladies..these are all great ideas...i am also the first out of our friends to have children so the invites have slowed down as well.

Holdmomma

It is tough when you have kids and your friends don't, and vice versa. I am a few years behind in the kids department. When my friends all started having babies when I was in my late 20s and early 30s I was the one feeling left behind. At this point I have realized that some friends come and go as they fit into your current lifestyle, and others stick around, but the friendship changes. I no longer go out with the girls for happy hour after work like I used to, but when we do see each other without kids around we can fill 2 hours with nonstop conversation and still have more to say. I also have new 'mom' friends whose kids are the same age as mine and I love seeing our children grow up together, as we discuss parenting and kids, while growing closer with one another.

I suggest that once you have your babies find a 'new mom' group to join. It will be really nice to have people to talk to especially while your babies are little. You probably won't become BFFs with everyone, but you will click with a couple people in the group and you will start to create new friendships that fit into the next phase of your life.

stlmomof2

amye02 said:

Eh, my friends have been "excluding" me for a little while now, which means I don't even get invites out anymore (early 30s they either don't have babies yet or have kiddos who are already in school). I know they're super excited about the baby I'm not taking it personally. Is there anyone who you can call and say you just need to get out? Go for coffee or lunch? I find when I do reach out my friends and family are happy to help.

Same here. What's funny is that those friends of mine that excluded me when I had DS finally had a baby of their own and are experiencing the same thing. They are complaining about not feeling part of the group. What comes around goes around.

I am only behind 2 of my friend's by a month and half with this one. They want to hang back out with me because now we all have something in common--kids. But I am not so forgiving. There's friends of mine that have stuck around all through my pregnancy and afterwards .

Taylovesbrad

Ita been an adjustment for me to slow down. I'm usually super active and go non.stop. can't do that now. It makes me lonely sometimes but I don't feel left out.