just trying to not feel alone

AllyAllison

Yesterday I found out I am pregnant. I'm confused on how I really feel. On November 18th our first born would be a year old. His name was Dmitri and we only got him for a few short minutes. I feel almost like D sent this baby to us knowing how hard this month is for me. The day before he passed is the day my biological mother passed and I always find the entire month depressing. We weren't trying and are kinda in shock that it happened.

My Dh is afraid to get excited and doesn't want to talk about this yet so I'm left feeling lost.

jenniferhasler

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can imagine you are very scared. I have found the women on this board to be very supportive and encouraging. I'm going to say congratulations because this is a happy, yet very scary, thing. This board/community might be a great resource for you while exploring your emotions and feelings.

nekedfeet

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Welcome to our little community- you are definitely not alone.  Wishing you all the best in this new pregnancy- it must be incredibly scary, but I hope you can find a little joy here and there.

AllyAllison

Thank you for the congratulations. It's nice to be able too talk about this. I've only told my Dh. Who isn't excited because we've also had early loses. And I almost feel at peace with this pregnancy. Even though in scared I don't feel as nervous as when I was pregnant with my angel.

alitria

What a terrible time for you!  I'm realizing now myself that a loss changes so much about your next pregnancy.  Welcome to the board, I've found some good support here from ladies who understand. 

Vets1

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and wish you all the best for this pregnancy, it's certainly not an easy journey but will be thinking of you x

kwrightnb

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I lost my daughter Lillian the day she was born and three months later we were expecting baby number two. As stressful as it is I try to stay focused on the fact that each pregnancy is different, and with all the special attention from doctors and extra ultrasounds , the chances of my baby passing again are very slim. Although scary, this IS exciting! And I'm so happy for you keep your chin up, you will get your rainbow baby soon.

AllyAllison

Thank you guys for the kind words. This pregnancy has already been so different. I had bleeding all the time when pregnant with Dmitri. This time I've has non at all. I had a really early ultrasound and she said she could see the sack and maybe something growing but wasn't sure. She sent new for labs and I double in just 42 hours. I took that as some good news. I've still been incredible ill and tired so I'm taking my strong simptoms as good. I have my second ultrasound tomorrow. With a specialist who'll hopefully take now then the two minutes my first dr did to look.

PlainJane8350

I'd trust your instincts. We weren't trying with our loss, but I honestly had the most frightening nightmares when I was pregnant. Like, really evil. Before I even knew I was pregnant the second time (we were trying then) I had a good, warm feeling inside whenever I'd think about getting pregnant. I ended up getting a positive and we had a healthy baby girl in September.