A shout out to FTMs. — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

A shout out to FTMs.

What is the biggest lesson you learned with this pregnancy that you would pass on to FTM who ask you for advice? What's been your biggest surprise so far?

Re: A shout out to FTMs.

  • OK, I will start.

    I had no idea how leaky I would be and how weird my body could smell. I asked both DH and my sister if the could smell me and they both say no, but I swear I smell different and for some reason it really bothers me.

    So I will tell new FTMs in my life to buy Poise pads for snisses and coughs and to get used to having less control over the bladder.
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  • Pregnancy nose makes you think you smell worse than you actually do...sucks
  • I love that @nickicb7! Yes,first time parent SO's need to be prepared for their spouse to be exhausted and that they can't help it!! I know that it really helped DH to hear I wasn't abnormally sick or tired.
  • Also, morning sickness is no effing joke. 24/7 nausea and vomitting a few times a day was waaaaay harder than I thought it would be. I really underestimated that.
  • I had no clue how brutal the first trimester would be.  I was tormented by constant nausea and food aversions to basically everything from day one of week six to day 6 of week 14.  (Yes, I even remember the exact days, because it was horrific.)  The only time I felt okay was when I was asleep.  This also coincided with the worst, most stressful period of work, which was fun.  (Sarcasm.)  So, I guess I'd tell other FTMs to hang in there because at least the second trimester, while it hasn't been perfect, has been a vast, vast improvement.  I'd also want to know IN ADVANCE how terrible the first trimester was going to be.  I was a naive idiot who assumed morning sickness happened, you know, in the morning.  I would have preferred to know it was an all day (and night) affair so I could prepare myself mentally.  I would have stocked up on sea bands (they helped only like, 20%, but better than nothing) and ideally lightened my work load a bit so I could rest more.

    Oh, and I would have gotten more of those pregnancy pop candies.  They didn't do a thing for my nausea, but they helped with the terrible taste I had in my mouth after anything I ate during the first trimester.  And I would have tried to force myself to exercise even lightly, 3x a week, when I was feeling terrible, because it was way harder to get back into the habit after 8 plus weeks off.

    And finally, I would want to know that pregnancy can feel like it lasts forever and ever, so I could mentally prepare myself for that too.  I would have maybe celebrated more milestones with my husband, to make it seem more fun.  I would maybe also have a monthly to do list to help me pass the time and feel like I was moving toward the goal.  My pregnancy app was super helpful with the feeling of progress, mentally, especially on days I felt terrible, I would wake up and click on the app and see that okay, hey, I'm at least one day further, closer to one week further, closer to one month further.  :)  
  • It sounds like we had very similar first and second trimesters. So @maureenmce , out of curiosity, will you try and do it again?
  • For me I just felt hungover the first trimester. Second has been fine. Really the only annoying thing has been eating. So many food aversions, a new food allergy, and heartburn caused by a lot of different foods. Once I've figured out what I can eat without issue, hasn't been as bad.
  • @krisdee123 - No clue!  During the first trimester I literally told my husband that he better come to terms with an only child because there was no way in hell I was getting pregnant again, haha.  But I think the relief of the second trimester has made me realize I could grit my teeth and get through another first trimester at some point, though I'd want at least a 2 year break in between.  

    But there are SO many factors to consider!  (Age, career, how hard or easy we find parenting to be and if we can achieve a good work/life balance, etc.)  Deciding how many children to have is such a tough decision!  Would you do it again?
  • Advice...get on the anti nausea meds as soon as it starts. Don't mess around with ginger/home remedies it's useless.
  • @maureenmce We will be one and done, and blessed to have her. I'm in my forties so we kind of waited too long and I don't want to go through this again at 45.
  • Diclegis is your friend. Ask the dr for it and hug the bottle in affection at night. :) also I'd warn ftms that not every preggo will feel a sex drive surge. Mine utterly vanished and once I had a hint of one my vagina was so tender and sensitive there was no point. I've had to get over the guilt of feeling that way.
  • The itching!!! Who knew that itchy skin could be such a horrible pregnancy symptom?!?! Stock up an a good lotion an apply several times daily!
  • I would definitely say that an extra effort to calm your nerves will be required and I was not prepared for the feelings of extreme irratibility and fury towards others. It may seem that the world at large and sometimes even your loved ones completely fail to understand or be supportive but it just wrecks your own nerves and wont do you any good. I am on a constant endeavour to calm myself and sometimes if necessary, just detach from the current situation for my own sanity.
  • The tiredness is definitely something you should be warned about. It's so hard to work and stay focused most of the time. I am extremely lucky to have had an easy pregnancy. I have not thrown up once throughout this whole journey; however, I did feel extremely nauseous my whole first trimester. I ended up losing 10 lbs. I would want to tell other first time moms that every experience is different and unique. Enjoy being pregnant because even though it sucks at times, it's so amazing at others. Feeling baby moving makes it all worthwhile!
  • I would warn of the trouble with bowel movements. Hello Miralax and drinking obscene amounts of water!
  • Random nose bleeds and insane amounts of gas. I may have woke myself up one night with a rath ummm... Noisy one. Luckily hubby found it pretty funny.
    Also the hunger is real. You will want to eat an entire roast chicken in one sitting and the next day not want anything at all. One side of your brain says a dozen donuts and extra large pizza sounds amazing while the other side will say that's bad for the baby and you're blood sugar and colestoral.
    And at this moment I want donuts and pizza. Lord help me. Haha.
  • scornwell717scornwell717 member
    edited November 2015
    Discharge. Why does no one warn you about this?! FTM here and even though I had discharge before, I have had nothing like this! Ew! And to add to that, your vagina is a monstrosity of swollen-ness and pressure. At least that's where I'm at now...

    Also to make cocoa butter your best friend (or bio oil)...it keeps my belly from being itchy and I haven't had a single stretch mark. Hopefully it can stay that way for another 2 months!
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