Hey guys, I have been on this board for probably 3 weeks or so, and I have noticed that there have been a lot of people griping about ladies posting new discussions about certain things, namely pregnancy symptoms bring the biggest one. Isn't that what a board is for?? To talk about what's on your mind? Idk about anyone else, maybe it's just me, but reading all the gripes have made me very reluctant to post any new discussions in the forum because I don't wanna piss anyone off. I hate it.... Sometimes I just wanna post things about how I feel, physically & emotionally. Anyone else have these thoughts???? Or am I just a grump??
Re: Reluctant to post
I don't think you should be reluctant to post. This board isn't very busy, which I'm sure will change, so I enjoy reading new discussions. However, I think people just wanted to proactively discourage the repetitive posting of similar issues over and over again - hence the symptoms thread. Having one thread to talk about symptoms keeps the discussion more active and serves as a one stop shop where everyone can participate together.
That's my take anyways
If you want to vent or gripe, go for it! We all do it on the daily symptoms thread. That's what it's there for. But please remember that The Bump is a community, just like BabyCenter and all the others, and each community has their own way of doing things.
I hope you'll feel more comfortable sharing on this board! We're all going to be here for a while, so we're just trying to help make things run as smoothly as possible.
Don't be afraid of the snark, girl! I think we are all in this together ans to support each other! Most people don't say things to be mean, so don't take things personally. I hope that on the future you feel a little better about posting-looking forward to it
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
I just don't understand why it's a big deal if someone posts a new thread to ask a question? The symptom thread is great for those that just want to vent about how we are feeling but if you Have a specific question why not post a new thread? I don't go back and read the symptoms thread but if I see a question posted and I can offer advice then I will comment. Both are fine but just find it repetitive to see people keep commenting that there is a specific thread for that...
I just don't understand why it's a big deal if someone posts a new thread to ask a question? The symptom thread is great for those that just want to vent about how we are feeling but if you Have a specific question why not post a new thread? I don't go back and read the symptoms thread but if I see a question posted and I can offer advice then I will comment. Both are fine but just find it repetitive to see people keep commenting that there is a specific thread for that...
The isn't a new thread to ask a new question that's the issue, its when its the 17-millionith thread to ask if cramps are normal, or if it's normal to not have any symptoms. It gets a bit repetitive and people are less likey to open or respond to the thread in the first place. While it is repetitive to see people saying there's a specific thread for that, its also super repetitive to see the exact same question pop up as its own thread every day, or even multiple times a day.
I think use your own judgment. If you think your question fits in the symptoms thread - put it there. If you think it warrants it's own discussion, then start a discussion. Nobody is actually 'angry' - I promise. Having a single daily thread is simply an effort to consolidate responses and provide a place where a better conversation can happen.
And as with every board in the history of this site - its considered courteous to do a tiny bit of searching before posting a question that's been answered many times already. That doesn't mean you can't post a question or a concern you have as a new discussion. Just try to do a bit of looking around first.
But yeah. Multiples of the same thread? Annoying. I mean, we have like four threads for those with 2 under 2. Just take a minute to glance and see if it's already been asked.
If you want to blog about your feelings then Baby and bump is a good place to do that.
Also, having the attitude "I'll do and say whatever I want, you can't tell me what to do!" might not make you popular around here.. We have an established way of doing things here - if you think it sucks you can certainly find a place you feel more comfortable
@june2016baby Wait, do u honestly think people have been mean? What exactly is your definition of mean? People have been honest, straight forward and specifically addressed OPs question without going off topic or attacking her in any way. Sure though--- if that's your definition of mean... I would love to hear an example of a "mean" reply on this thread
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
I totally agree. One said "if you don't like the way we do things, find a different message board". Really?????? Also, the other day there was a post that a girl was 6 weeks and wondered if the flutter she felt could be the baby. People were SOOOOO rude, I know she must have felt stupid. I felt sorry for her. Someone even said "Congrats on your fart baby". Geeeeeez people, we r all grown WOMEN here, not teenage brats. BE NICE!
@Kballew10 I'm just not understanding WHYYY people have to make rude comments!!!! Seriously? This isn't Junior High. We r all here to try to find some common ground with someone, not to be bullied or be made to feel stupid. It's just not right. It's rude and very immature. And you know what? I've never had a problem "fitting in" in my life, but I'm not one to just sit back and take people's ugly and rude comments, even directed at other people and not say anything. I don't even want to be a part of this board anymore, and that's a shame that women will bully others so much and be "clique-y" even on an online forum, that other women don't feel like they "fit in". It's ridiculous, and I think that anyone that is tacky, snarky, rude, or bullies should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. You have NO IDEA what other people are going through or have been through, why be rude???? Why not try to be loving and supportive to other women who are simply looking for some support and guidance? That's all I'm saying.
My suggestion if you are wanting to post a certain topic is to search it to see if it has been posted before. If it has been and it is a recent post then I would just comment on that thread--someone is obviously experiencing the same thing and is probably more then excited to talk to you about it.. If it has been awhile then start a new thread. If you want to vent about a certain symptom I would preface that rant in your title so people know its a rant and wont click if they aren't interested. In general we are all supportive of each other since we are all going through this experience together, but be prepared for snarky comments if your question could be answered by a simple Google search (ie fetal kicks at 6weeks). There are so many trolls that love to post crap like that just to mess with people!
Light-hearted snark is totally different than bullying. I dislike when that word is used without carefully considering what it means. Nobody here is bullying anyone. If you look at the threads where women disclose that they've miscarried, or they need support dealing with something hard-EVERYONE here is incredibly supportive and caring. I have been part of a number of boards - and this group of ladies is far more tolerant than other groups I've been a part of.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
I'm out.