Hi everyone, Question on when you told your significant other

mrsfifilefume

So excited to find out I am about 6 weeks along.  I have taken about 3 at home pregnancy tests and I have tested positive.  I havent told my husband yet as I want to surprise him with a gift from baby for his birthday this weekend.  But I have been thinking, is it safer ( so not to get his hopes up) to wait to have it confirmed by doctor and make sure everything is going well, before I tell him?

or does everyone here mostly tell their SO once they test positive for pregnancy on a at-home test?  I am just nervous and excited and want to make sure its a go before I tell him.

Thanks 

mebaby333

I told my husband immediately. ... I couldn't fathom not telling him of all people right away...

What would you like to accomplish by waiting to tell him until an appointment? Maybe that can help for an answer

Kballew10

I told my DH as soon as that second line showed up.  I grabbed the onsie that I'd bought and threw it at him... unromantic and un-cute, but I was so excited and freaked out!  I think that a cute gift for his birthday would be a nice way to tell him!  My first appointment isn't until 8.5 weeks and I can't imagine waiting until then to tell him.  Plus, if things aren't going well, wouldn't he be one of your first sources of support as you deal with it?  

Meglit89

I told my DH the next day (so I could re-test to be sure, lol).  I agree with PP, I don't think anything would be accomplished by waiting to tell him.  If you got a positive on an HPT (take more than one if you're not convinced), you're pregnant.  You don't really need to go to the doctor to get it confirmed.  Those things are pretty reliable.

june2016baby

I don't think I'd trust my spouse if he/she kept such a big thing from me!

Rosehip15

I waited 2 days to tell DP, but only because I was away for a wine tasting girls' birthday weekend (wasn't that a bust!) and wanted to tell him in person.  I blurted it out as we sat down to dinner after he picked me up from the airport.  I had a cute card to give him, but panicked because I realized he would order wine.  I can't imagine holding out.  He would be really ticked if I held out on him and/or he didn't get to go to the first doc's appt.  But that's us.

However, God forbid something does go wrong - don't you want his support?

Scout27

Agree with PPs. I told my DH as soon as I had the positive test. I think it's fine to give him something for his birthday this weekend but I definitely wouldn't wait until after your appointment. 

mrsfifilefume

Thanks everyone. My doctor's appt is scheduled for early next week, so it's not like I was going to wait another two weeks before I told him. 

Okay, so I will surprise him this weekend. exciting.... 

kayla2536

I had 3 negative tests in September so I just assumed that when I took the 4th it would be negative too. I walked away from the test and when I came back I saw the BFP! I FREAKED out! Crying, lightheaded, the works. My DH was at work, not answering his phone which just made the freak out worse. (It was excited, in shock freak out, not sad).

When he finally answered he thought someone died. He was so scared because of my crazy reaction! When I told him he was driving and had to pull over.

So yeah, told him immediately and it was NOT how I planned to tell him at all. For baby #2 the announcement can only get better though, right?!

goldie987

I took the test right after he had left for work and had a maybe positive maybe not the day before on a cheap test. Once it showed clearly on a test, I told him.

AmberLiz99

I've always told him right away, he's usually been in the next room and knew I was testing.

chloe97

I had been telling DH for 3 days that I thought I felt pregnant, though the Wandfos kept showing negative. Because we were supposed to go out drinking the next day, I stopped on my way home from work and grabbed a FRER. DH was at a bar texting me about how I would like the place and I told him that I thought our bar hopping days were coming to a halt for awhile. I took the test, got the BFP, and ran to Target about him an I Love Daddy onesie. When he came home, I immediately gave it to him and he didn't believe me til he saw the test! In hindsight, I wish I hadn't given him a daily update so that he was more surprised when I told him! I couldn't imagine waiting more than a few hours to tell, I was bursting at the seams!!!!

Mr0616

I think DH knew one minute after me. He knew I was going POAS so had to. Plus, he was convinced I was pregnant before I even tested.

FutureMrsCAF

With both pregnancies, I told DH as soon as he got home, as he was at work both times. Tell him as soon as you're comfortable, but I think mine would be upset if I waited at all to tell him.

Linsbins

I showed DH the stick before the pee was dry. I think he deserves to know. Plus if something happened, shouldn't he be there to support you? I would be pissed if I didn't know, especially if something happened and it was like, surprise, I was KU but not anymore.

DeePaddy24

I told DH right away. I had plans to surprise him, but those went right out the window the minute I saw the second line. I was too excited & knew he'd be disappointed if he missed out on the excitement, as well. 

tinypikachu

I told DH the same day. I wanted to surprise him and it was a saturday so we both were home. While he was asleep, I took a test and got a BFP. I *quietly* freaked out and then went to the kitchen and continued to stare at the test. He woke up so I hid it, made him breakfast, and then we did regular saturday stuff: yardwork, cleaning, work from home a bit. I then said I had to go to the supermarket and left to print a card I designed (right next to him lol) that said 'Can't wait to meet you, daddy', got a balloon and came home and surprised him and recorded it. I honestly didn't have an issue holding back the info mainly because it all seemed surreal to me. But I know he would have been sad if I had known for days and not told him.

cattlebride

For this one I told him right away as soon as that line popped up. For DD I waited a couple of days and got him a card and a baby kstate beanie. I'm kstate and he's ku it was fun.

cattuccino

I also told DH the same day. While he was at work I went and got a big sister shirt For DD for her to wear when he got home.

With our first pregnancy I waited a few days for it to sink in myself.

verily

I told mine the day after. It was his right to know and I wanted his support should things get complicated (and they did).

Jgar2u2

The day I found out my husband had an awful day at work and was in a horrible mood so I waited a few days to tell him.  When I told him I showed him two older pee sticks (bleh) and asked if he could see the line if he squinted. I have always been addicted to POAS so this was the norm but he found it annoying. haha... and then I gave him my FRER and asked him to try that one because the others were bfns. The FRER was a definite positive! He was surprised!  We had a chemical pregnancy in April so we're hesitant to tell anyone else right now. We're going to try to wait until Christmas to spread the word.

Jgar2u2

lynnernon

We found out together! I was possibly a few days late but not sure of my cycle off of bc. I bought the tests and the next morning we did it. I peed then set the timer and walked out of the bathroom. When we walked back in together we found the BFP!! We were both so excited and eager to know, I couldn't imagine not finding out together.

cjt121413

I tested when he was working a late night. I told him the next morning. I thought about waiting and doing something cute, but I couldn't contain myself. I also felt weird spending the day with him while having such a big secret. After I told him, I was like, "wanna see my pee sticks?!" He said no and I showed him my pee sticks anyway. If the man I married won't look at my pee sticks, who will?

lindygirl0408

First, congratulations!

I told my husband the day after I found out. My scenario was a bit different in that we were not quite ready to be pregnant yet. I was on BC. I was terrified that he would be mad or try to place blame.

Boy how wrong I was! He was extatic and has been such a great support since. I never realized that I would want someone to confide in about the silliest things, and the more serious things, like my fears.

I think you should tell him. Share in this joyous and tense time leading up to your appt. together. You will be glad to have your partner by your side, and he will be happy to be in on the news.

(Hopefully he can keep a secret)

jsl82

First Congratulations!

With both my pregnancies I have told DH as soon as the test showed I was pregnant.  The first time he was so happy- I was worried as we had been celebrating his birthday with A LOT of drinking the week and weekend before.  This time he was away for work so I text him a picture of the positive AHPT.  

When you say you want to make sure it's a go before you tell him- I will tell you that you don't wait for two reasons.  1) I MC'd our first pregnancy and do not believe I would have been able to get through it without him.  2) He would have been so mad at me if I'd gone to the dr without him.  That first appointment is his first chance to talk to the dr and see the baby too- don't take that away from him.  

ecolton01

I couldn't imagine not telling my DH because I know how excited he was going to be for it to happen . About a year ago when I was on BC I played a joke on him telling him I was pregnant because I thought it would freak him out and he was so excited . .. Bad idea I tested in the morning after he went to work so when we both got home from work I had bought a nerf gun and wrote "congratulations your not shooting blanks " on the side and wrapped it up . He asked if I got him socks and underwear haha but he was so excited and it nice to talk about everything with him

NicknShan

I tested in the morning, but it was so light he would've never seen it. So I took a digital after work. Negative. Then I took another pee stick at like 10, which you could see the squinter a little better. He was in the basement playing video games with a friend in town for the weekend, so I called him from our bedroom and asked him to come upstairs and showed him the pee stick. So I guess I waited about 12 hours. But just until he could see it.

cmac827

My DH told me. I got up, took the test, and went back to bed without waiting for the test. DH told me to get up, because he thought he saw a second line.

masimo9210

My DH and I have a quite different story. We kind of suspected I might be KU but it could have also been stress... we weren't TTC. So we had a bet: he got $100 from me if I was pregnant and I got $100 from him if I wasn't. Not because I didn't want to be, but because I genuinely thought I was stressed out. Well long story short.. I asked him to pick up the tests since it wasn't a secret that we needed to find out. Then after I POAS, I gave him the test (in a paper towel) and told him to read the results when it finished counting down (we did a digital test). 

Even if he wasn't suspicious, he would definitely want to know right away. Please tell us how when/you ended up telling him! 

andrearstrange

I told my husband after about 4 days... 2 days of of disbelief then 2 days waiting on the batman onesie and tshirt to be sent from amazon to give to him!

andrearstrange

If you are wanting some confirmation you can go to an urgentcare facility and ask for a pregnancy test there

mrsschmity

andrearstrange said:

If you are wanting some confirmation you can go to an urgentcare facility and ask for a pregnancy test there

Maybe it's just me, but at this stage I would think a positive pee stick would be enough confirmation to share with your SO. I would not recommend going to urgent care to confirm a pregnancy. Urgent care is meant for just that - urgent care.

*Edited for QBF

little_bren

I understand not wanting him to be disappointed but he's your partner and should know. With last PG and this one, I got my BFP late at night and told DH after retesting as it was a squinter each time.

little_bren

cattlebride said:

For this one I told him right away as soon as that line popped up. For DD I waited a couple of days and got him a card and a baby kstate beanie. I'm kstate and he's ku it was fun.

@cattlebride go Jayhawks

HBamama2B

It's a go! You are cleared for launch! I think there's a lot of emphasis now on how we spill the news or pop the question or what life moment you have due to you tube videos unfortunately. For us we had a nurse call and planned to listen to the vm together so we'd find out the same time. We did IVF and I couldn't imagine not having him there if it didn't work. My DH wants to be at every apt. At the first, (5wks+6days) we got to see the sac, pole, and hb flicker. It was magic. I'm glad he was there or I would have been so sad that he didn't get to see the tiny LO--you don't get a lot of chances.

That said--every couple is unique and you know him best. Would he want to be at that first apt with you? Would he prefer a bday surprise that came early? Would you like a moment or two to accept the news yourself? Or would he prefer not to know unless it's 'certain'? I don't think there's a moral issue to waiting, or a reason to think he would be mad unless we knew him specifically, but you can be confident giving him the news now since you sound definitely KTFU so don't wait on that account. I get wanting to make sure it's real and trying to make the very special news delivery, you know, special. Taking a second HPT several days later if you tested early can help confirm its not a CP, but since you're already 6wks there's no medical need to wait. Your miscarriage risk has already decreased significantly.


https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=09&d=11&y=15



One of my fav funny quotes on this topic from Greys: "You found out in a bathroom by peeing on a stick... Why should he get special?"

augbride87

cmac827 said:

My DH told me. I got up, took the test, and went back to bed without waiting for the test. DH told me to get up, because he thought he saw a second line.

DH knew first too. He actually wanted to know before I did. Around a minute he said I kinda see something so I went in and we watched it darken over the next couple minutes.

mrsfifilefume

Hi Everyone,

So Sunday was my husbands birthday and also the day I revealed I was pregnant!

I woke him up early and told him I wanted to give him his presents. I gave him mine first which was a gift card to place he wanted and a dvd he wanted. I then gave him another present in a box from "someone special". In the box I bought a t shirt from his favorite sports team that the back had Number 1 Dad on it. I also made a card from baby saying "Happy Birthday Daddy! Can't wait to meet you- June 2016, alongside my positive pregnancy test. 

lol his face was priceless. he was in funny denial like- NO WAY, No WAY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I AM SO HAPPY!!! NO WAY  LOL

He was totally not expecting this announcement at all. best birthday present ever!!

Thanks everyone for chiming in.  Looking forward to Wednesday at our first prenatal app. together. 

MsBeachNJ

So cute! I just teared up (darn horomones!) what a wonderful memory  

chelthorn

I actually took a test 2 weeks ago and it was positive, but we lost our last baby at 5 weeks 3 days.  In that case I waited until this morning after he left for work to take another test to confirm the last one at it was positive as well! I plan to tell him as soon as I get home from work! 

agillespie15

I told my DH as soon as I saw two lines!!!! He's me rock, I would've never been able to keep it from him, and wouldn't have wanted to. I was so excited/freaked out/happy that there's no way I could've hidden it anyway. After all, it's his baby too!!!