Pregnant after a Loss

recent loss and confusing about ttc

I was just diagnosed with a MMC last week.  I'm still recovering physically and emotionally, but we have decided that we will try to have another baby, we just don't know when that will be.  We already have 2 boys, so this would have been baby #3.  I'm 34 now, but will be 35 when the next baby is born (assuming we start right away). 

My question(s) to those of you have been successful getting pregnant after a loss is this - how long did you wait?  Why?  Were you told to wait?  If you got pregnant right away, was there any concern from your dr about getting pregnant so soon?  Does having a prior miscarriage and being over 35 now put me in the "high risk" category?  What does that mean exactly?

I plan on asking my dr these questions at my 2 week follow up appointment next week, but after this miscarriage I'm feeling very lost and was very unprepared for how this past weekend went.  I left my dr office not knowing what to expect or where to go from here.  I've never been through this before, so I didn't even know what to ask.  Now that I've had time to start to process all of this, I have more questions.

Any help or advice you might be able to offer is appreciated!

Re: recent loss and confusing about ttc

  • We waited three months, based on my doctor's rec. I ended up seeing a new doctor to investigate our loss and he seemed to think the three months was arbitrary. I will say that my first few periods after my D&C were extremely light, which made me wonder if my lining had built up enough to maintain a pregnancy yet.

    Anyway, I was 35 when I conceived and, high risk or not, I was advanced maternal age. I chose to go to a high risk specialist, but I would have done that if I were 25 after my loss as that was our first pregnancy and I was scared. I loved it because I went more appointments and got more ultrasounds. I also felt like my doctor was looking for red flags instead of just going through the motions. It gave me peace of mind, but not necessary if you're not worried about it.
  • We waited one cycle per our doctors rec. We decided we wouldn't chart and if it happened then it was meant to be. Turns out I was pregnant.
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  • I don't know why the rest of my post, didn't post. (I hate that) anyway... I just said this group has helped and ask as many questions as needed!
  • mommasealmommaseal member
    edited October 2015
    This is what I was supposed to post. Sorry for 100 posts! Lol

    We waited one cycle per our doctors rec. We decided we wouldn't chart and if it happened then it was meant to be. Turns out I was pregnant.
  • although I'm not currently pregnant (yet!), my doctor told us that after 1 cycle we could start trying again. We haven't TTC yet, as I had a MMC and D&C exactly a week ago. I think most dr's want you to wait because it helps better date the pregnancy when you do conceive, although, I've seen quite a few members on this board who have become pregnant even before 1 cycle! The best thing is to ask your doctor at your next follow up. Those are some great questions to ask :) 
  • I am sorry for your loss.

    On the day of my miscarriage, I saw a different doctor than usual--she said waiting one cycle was only for dating purposes.
    I saw my regular doctor at follow up and she said to wait one cycle. In case there was any "schmutz" left, and egg would implant onto schmutz, it may increase risk of miscarriage.

    I am happy we waited. My first period after was super intense, and I don't think I would have been ready to be pregnant again yet. I got pregnant the next cycle.

    My 1st pregnancy was at 33, my 2nd (mc) at 35. The only difference was that I was offered Materniti21 test. With this pregnancy, I am doing weekly bloodwork for "reassurance" until my 1st ultrasound at 8 weeks. The plan is then for bi-weekly ultrasounds until I'm passed my loss point (almost 12 weeks)

    Good luck!
  • nekedfeetnekedfeet member
    edited October 2015
    I ended up having 3 d+c's for the same pregnancy (over 2 months) as the retained product was still vascularized and wouldn't simply "take care of itself" as they had originally hoped. We waited one cycle- which really seems to help your body recalibrate, and which I really needed after so much trauma--and the got pregnant immediately after that. Still early here, but hopeful.
    1st Pregnancy: EDD 12/31/15; Diagnosed Turner's with terminal cystic hygroma 13wks; induced at 14wks, +3 d+c's.
    2nd Pregnancy: BFP 10/8/15; EDD 6/21/16

  • how long did you wait?  We waited 1 cycle which was 42 days after my D&C.  We were told by the doctor to wait, but were getting conflicting advice depending on which doctor we saw. 

    I agree with plainjane, I wouldn't say you are in any more risk due to age, but you will be in the advanced maternal age category so they do more tests and screenings if you want them to.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  We are here for you.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • emmaleighbugemmaleighbug member
    edited October 2015
    I'm not pregnant yet, but we are not preventing it and I haven't had a first period afterward yet. I just naturally miscarried on Sept. 30th at 11 weeks, but thought we were 13. The doctor I saw said she always says to wait two periods, but I've done extensive reading online and there seems to be no reason to wait unless you've had a D&C (and not necessarily then either, but I'd feel less comfortable with it personally). I didn't trust that doctor in the first place and would have switched if I was still pregnant, but that's another issue.

    My husband and I both feel comfortable trying again now - after my research, so we are. I have no idea when my ovulation kicked in or if it even has yet, so I've taken two pregnancy tests this week, both negative, but it's still early. Some people will probably think it's reckless, but I just can't wait! I can't wait to be pregnant again, even though it'll be scarier this time around. I just want to be a mom!
  • My OB said a minimum of 3 months. We waited 3 months post our stillborn & got pregnant at 4 months. I'm currently 36w & it's been tough, but I'm further this time than I was last time. Good luck!
  • My SO and I started trying as soon as I stopped bleeding from my MC and I got pregnant not even a few days later. My OB said he advises  patients to wait 3 months only because it's easier for them to track a pregnancy once your periods have become regular again but there is no scientific research proving that trying sooner than that can cause another MC. I read online too and a lot of studies did say that women who get pregnant within the first 6 months after a MC are more likely to have a successful pregnancy the next time around but it's all about you and making sure you're healed and ready to be a calm, confident vessel for your new baby!

    My new OB has shown no concern knowing my history of a miscarriage and has said that I am now less likely to miscarry. Not that I don't still have freak outs and worry but it was comforting hearing those things. My heart goes out to you!

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