Finding a way to celebrate our babies — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Finding a way to celebrate our babies

Hi moms
My due date would have been on April 18, 2016, I know that day is going to be very painful. I would like to find a way to celebrate my child on the day. She was only with us a short time but she's had a tremendous impact on our lives...I cherish everyday I had her growing inside me and I would like to find a way to honor her...a way to make the day about something positive she did for our lives..I think I need this..if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them, thank you

Re: Finding a way to celebrate our babies

  • How about planting a tree?
     Rainbow baby Savannah born 5.13.16 at 30 weeks    
    Baby Cadence born still 3.24.15 at 28 weeks 

  • My husband and I just miscarried our first baby after IVF and we to would love to do something on their due date, May 28. We vlogged our journey and this baby has touched our lives tremendously but also everyone that was following the journey with us.
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  • We have thought about the tree idea and really liked it but I think I would be sad if we ever moved and had to leave it behind... Im sorry for your loss @wheelersarah ;
  • @ssnova my due date was April 14, 2016. I've been trying to think of a way to remember our baby. I had a blighted ovum and I know some people don't consider that to be a pregnancy, but I do. It's harder for my husband to understand all of this since we never saw a baby and he never felt any pregnancy symptoms, so I'm not sure how I would even tell him I want to do something on that day for our baby
  • We named this baby, on the recommendation of a few friends and family. We planted a tree for our last loss, but we moved and it was kind of hard to think of leaving that tree. I still like the idea and we may do that again though.

  • @angelbab807 some people may try to compare pregnancy losses from an early loss to a late term or still birth loss and even a blighted ovum, claiming that one is worse than another...I don't find this to be true, although the I have only suffered a miscarriage, I know the want of a child and for your case there may not have been a physical baby in your body but there was one in you heart and in your your pain and loss are no less than anyone else on this board...@lilyaster we also named our baby (Evelyn), we miscarried at home so we were able to spend time with her and baptize her which was very important to us. It was all part of how we were going to be able to move forward and heal as a family. I'm so sorry ladies
  • Also @angelbab807 I would explain to your husband that your body was going through of the steps of a pregnancy and it changed you..tell him you understand that you both are going to grieve differently and you don't expect him to hurt the way you do but all you ask is that he be there when you need to cry or just be hugged...that support will make all the difference
  • I talk to my baby still . Kind of like praying outl loud . I believe she is an angel with me all the time so I tell her how much I love and miss her especially before I go to bed .

    I love the idea of a tree . It's beautiful to commemorate with something that can continue to grow .

    **BFP and loss warning**

    Me: 29
    DH: 29
    Us: Married Valentine's Day, 2015
    DH: No issues.
    Me: PCOS, unexplained infertility (whatever that means!!)
    June 2015 Medicated TI cycle: BFN
    July 2015:  Medicated TI cycle: BFN
    August 2015: IUI: BFP. Chemical pregnancy :(
    October 2015: IUI: BFN
    January 2016: Egg retrieval: 10 frozen embryos!
    March 2016: FET Cycle- 2 embryos transferred!: BFP !
  • I still talk to mine as well.. praying to her aloud.. asking her to help me get through the harder days.
  • I think it's wonderful you want to commemorate her.  I love the tree idea but see your concern if you would move.  Our due date would have been June 8, 2016.  Perhaps make a small donation to a charity in your family's name?  You could also take that day and volunteer somewhere with your husband and do that with her in mind.  If you want more of a physical thing, I think a tree is very fitting.  I have also heard of people writing a letter to their child and tying it to a balloon, then releasing it as a way to acknowledge and heal.  So sorry to hear about your loss, and hope you can find a way you like best to recognize that day.
  • @angelbab807
    I to had a blighted ovum and I have a James Avery charm bracelet and we ordered a charm of a baby onesie and also a heart charm that says " your always in my heart" and on the back we engraved his due date. " 3-25-2016 " I want to do something also for the due date I just don't know what yet. But the charm helps me because it is a reminder and I feel he is always with me. I'm so sorry for your loss but I can relate 100%. Let us know what you decide to do. Hugs :x
  • thank you ladies for the feed back, we're still brainstorming but will post what we end up doing...sorry for all you losses
  • We planted a sapling in a (big) pot. When we buy our next house we will plant it there. Until then the pot is big enough for it to grow for about 3 years. Once it is planted we are going to get a plaque with lo's name on it.

    Little boy due July 31st 2016

  • I got a tattoo, so that it is always with me. It is a triangle on my wrist, so I can see it all day. It represents mother, father, child to remind myself that it is okay to grieve, that we became parents the day we got that BFP, even if we never met our baby. I love it.
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 

    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

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