What to do after miscarriage — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

What to do after miscarriage

I am experiencing a miscarriage now. It was confirmed by an ultrasound today even though I knew that was what was happening. I think I was about 6.5 weeks based on my cycle length. I took today off work and some of the people I've talked with today tell me to take a few days to digest everything. I'm torn, I don't know if I'm going to benefit from being home but don't want to rush going back to work. What hAve others done? Advice?

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Re: What to do after miscarriage

  • My first mc was really early (4.5 weeks) and happened on a Friday. It was nice to have the weekend because I had some pretty terrible cramping and just wanted to wear sweats and sit with a heating pad. I went back to work on Monday and tried to stay busy. I am in the midst of my second right now at 6 weeks and the pain has not been as bad, but emotionally it has been much harder. I have been working a little but find that I cry kind of randomly. I think it depends on how you're feeling, but for me it has been nice both times to have a little time off to wear comfortable clothes and be able to cry without people staring. At the same time, at least for me, it would also be bad to take too much time off because I know I would just never start feeling better again if I didn't get back to my normal activities. 
  • I don't have advice because I'm in the exact same position. I miscarried today at 8 weeks. I've been lying in bed all day and I can't imagine getting through the day at work tomorrow, but I also don't know what I'd do if I stayed home. I think I might go in, tell my boss what happened, and just leave if I'm feeling too uncomfortable or sad. Or I might take another day to stay in bed before trying to act like a person again... I'm sorry you're going through this.
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 


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  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  My situation was very similar, so I hope I can help by sharing.  We learned we were possibly miscarrying on October 12 after several blood tests showed HcG going up.  I had a blood test to confirm twice that the numbers were dropping between October 12 and 18.  I was about 6 weeks, just like you.  My bleeding was bad for a few hours, but was honestly a light to moderate period for about 8 days with spotting on both ends.  I took one day off from work to let myself emotionally take things in.  I also chose to take a day because I did not know how the bleeding would progress, and I did not want to be at work if it became really heavy and unmanageable.  Coincidentally I found out, I took off Oct.15 which is National Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day.  I cried a lot, I cleaned a lot, and I called and got some information from a social worker that day.  My mom stayed by my side for a few hours while I just needed to talk.  I was hysterical one moment and numb the next.

    I am very happy that I took one day at home for myself.  It let me deal with the raw emotions as they came, especially since they change by the minute.  It took away the anxiety of "what if the bleeding is bad?" and "what if I have terrible cramping and people have to take care of me at work?" I went back to work the next day (a Friday) and it honestly helped me be distracted.  I'm a teacher, so it was a busy day and my students kept me more positive.  I would assess what type of work you do and honestly ask yourself a few things:  If you stay home, what is something productive you can do to make your environment better?  Even cleaning a closet out - doing anything to establish some control in your environment sounds silly, but it really helped me.  I know you are likely depressed as I was and still am, so you might want to do things but just not be able to get yourself to follow through.  If you go to work and have a rough moment, is there a place you can be alone for a bit to calm down?  How heavy is your bleeding - are you able to leave early if needed?  If you think there is a good chance of the distraction helping, I would try to go in for a few days.  Consider taking Friday off and giving yourself a long weekend.  

    Since the emotions are very fresh for me as well, please let me know if I can help in any other way.  It's a terrible experience to have and one I honestly never thought I would have.  I'm sending you best wishes to be feeling better emotionally and physically in the time you need.
  • diane2218diane2218
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    member
    edited October 2015
  • I am sorry for your loss.

    I miscarried on a Friday, and was home Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (already planned day off).  Even though I felt physically okay by Sunday, I was happy to have the extra day home.

    I hope you feel better soon.

  • I'm sorry for your loss.

    I had a Wednesday mid-day appointment the day I found out I was likely going to lose the baby. I had planned to go back to work after the appointment but once I got the bad news I went back to work, picked up my stuff, and immediately went home. I already had a half day Thursday and Friday off so I worked from home Thursday too.

    The following Wednesday I had my follow-up where I learned the baby had passed a day or so after my last appointment. I worked from home that entire day. It was a busy week for us and I had had a week to process that I was most likely losing the baby so I went back to work Thursday and never took another day off.

    I ended up passing the tissue the following Thursday at work. That was rough, but for me it was no worse than being at home alone when it happened since I did have a friend at work who knew what was going on.
    _______________________________________________________________________________________________
    MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
    DS born 9/13/16
    BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
  • Qbanrican84Qbanrican84
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited October 2015
    Hi...

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm personally going through it as well. I went to the doctor on Friday for an ultrasound to find a heart beat...I should have been around 8 weeks or so but it was measuring about 6 weeks, and there was no heartbeat, or bloodflow, so the doctor told me it was a miscarriage. That was on Friday...I went to the beach (my healing place) with my husband for the rest of the day and just laid there in our little tent. Then stayed home all day Saturday, Sunday, and Monday as well with hubby by my side.

    Take the advise, you'll need the extra days for physical as well as emotional healing. It was a little hard coming back to work on yesterday, but it wasn't as bad. It helps keep my mind occupied now, but def. take a few days... *hugs*

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