Baby shower etiquette question

maureenmce

Hey all!  This is my first baby and therefore first shower, so I just want to make sure not to commit a faux pas of any kind or offend anyone, but here's the issue: we have been given SO MANY baby outfits already, from friends who have older children, my boss at work, my mom, that she basically will not need a stitch of clothing until she is 1.  Is there a polite way to request no baby clothes at the shower?  We haven't registered for any, but having been to a couple of baby showers, I know that whether or not you register for them, you get tons of them!  (I mean, baby clothes are adorable and hard to resist!  I don't blame anyone!)

My thinking is that there probably isn't a polite way to dictate what people do or don't buy, so I won't say anything either way and just will add whatever we get to baby girl's insane wardrobe options.    But I just thought I'd ask!

willashbaby

As you already suspect, there isn't. The only thing I can suggest is that you ask the hosts to spread by word of mouth if anyone asks that you REALLY don't need clothes. That's your best bet. I asked my Mom to spread the word that we REALLY only need what's on the resgistry/comparable because we live in an apartment and just don't have much space. We'll see what happens! 

hailees

I'm in the same boat with clothes! It's been a great blessing to have already received SO much. That being said, I asked hostesses to spread the word. In my social group, people truly want to get what you need, so I knew that this wouldn't offend anyone. They actually did an evite for my shower, so she just went ahead and did a message to update everyone, plus word of mouth. I'm pretty sure we will get more clothes regardless, but at least it's out there!

kmcc14

As PP have said, your host is really the only person who can tactfully pass the word along.  I threw a shower for a good friend last year, and I was concerned about her getting the big ticket items before the baby came because she wanted to wait until 2 weeks before her due date to have the shower.  So I emailed the guests and offered to coordinate purchasing the larger items if anyone wanted to go in together on the gifts.  I was amazed by how many people were happy to chip in money and not have to shop.  I actually had to turn down a couple ladies because I got more than enough to purchase all of the big items left on her registry.  So it worked out that she got very few clothes because so many people went in together on the more expensive gifts.

zg49

It is hard to ask people to NOT get certain things and I don't really know of a polite way to make the request but you could always return the clothes if you get too many after the shower. Most showers I've been to the gifts have come with gift receipts so don't feel bad if you return them! 

If your registry doesn't have any clothes on it, people may get the idea that you don't want/need clothes so that is a good option as well. But you could also have a close friend or your mom mention it to guests that they know are planning to come too. 

maureenmce

Thanks, ladies!  I assumed there probably wasn't a polite way to do it, but I thought I'd double check.    I'll just let the hostess and my mom know of our overabundance of baby clothes, just in case anyone asks them about gift specifics.  Thanks again!

Wicked4589

We did this perfectly and completely in line with etiquette. We didn't tell anyone we were having a boy and registered for all gender neutral stuff. We received ONE sleeper at my first shower and that's it. We wanted to be able to pick out the clothes ourselves. Some things I don't like (outfits with sayings on them like Little Man) or outfits that will be on him for 4 minutes. I'd much rather people save their money than buy us stiff I know we will never use. I just hate I see people waste money. Probably won't work for you now but maybe other people can see this and do the same?

EC2016

You can also return the clothes for a credit and get the things you need. They never need to know.

mamakculb

EC2016 said:

You can also return the clothes for a credit and get the things you need. They never need to know.

This. I received so many newborn clothes for my son's shower that there was no physical way he would ever wear them all. I exchanged some for larger size clothes and others I traded in for other necessities. As a gift giver, I would rather them have something useful than something sitting in the closet with the tags on collecting dust. 

Wicked4589

i have received so many dang mittens and I have no clue where to return them. I checked the usual places and they didn't come from any of them. I am thinking maybe some were bought on Amazon because i can't find them anywhere in the store.

kmo8986

Also- terrible person alert here- I have clothes that still have tags on that sometimes I give as part of a baby gift for other people, or sell on a yard sale site or something. If they didn't get used there is no reason someone else can't

SunshineBaby26

Same boat! My boss moved across the country with 3 young kids (both genders), so she downsized derastically before the move and left me with 12 boxes of baby clothes!!

I simply wrote on my invites "Thanks to a very generous donation, clothing is no longer needed."

But I also am keeping the gender a secret for that sake. Gender neutral clothes are not as nice to buy, and therefore people are less likely to get clothes if they don't know the gender. I mean, surprises can come at any turn and the last thing I want is all pink clothes when my baby comes out a boy!

makeshifwings

You can always return things! We did that after our wedding when we received 3 pots and pans sets...I don't think anyone would be offended (if they even ever found out) that you returned clothing to get things the baby needed more.

teachmegs817

@wicked4589, I have heard from a few ladies that they've been to showers where the sex was not mentioned, but the MTB knew, for this very reason.  I was told by a co-worker that if we were having a girl that I may want to not reveal, because I could end up with an abundance of clothes versus what I actually registered for.  I then thought back to some of the very first showers I ever went to when I was in my early 20's and was totally that person who bought outfits, and not something that was on the registry because they were too cute to resist. =P