June 2015 Moms

In law problems rant/seeking advice

kallierayannekallierayanne member
edited October 2015 in June 2015 Moms
My MIL I believe has truly crossed a line. Not only does she tell everyone that I do not allow her to see the baby (which we tell her all the time she's allowed to come see her. Baby not allowed at her house due to her SO being on drugs and known for having them in house), but she literally calls my daughter her daughter. She has said multiple times that she is her daughter. She tries to do all of her first things with her when I'm not around. Even went and had a mothers ring made with all of her suns birthstones and my daughters. Throws a huge fit every time my SO and I want to do something is just us three. Says that she should be the one there for every little thing. Not me. I'm the mother I'm the one that should be there for special things. I just don't understand her saying that my baby is hers and trying to keep me from doing things for my baby. It's driving me insane. Does anyone else have this problem and if so how did you handle it?

I also want to add that my SO has been amazing at standing up to me, but she's stubborn and always plays the victim. She is always right even if there's proof right in her face saying other wise. It doesn't cause to much stress between my SO and I thankfully, but I want my daughter to have a relationship with her grandma and right now it seems nearly impossible.

Re: In law problems rant/seeking advice

  • mishmardhionomishmardhiono member
    edited October 2015
    Call her out on it, if DH won't. If you don't feel like your being respected then say something. In the end DH chose you not her, Make sure she knows that he won't tolerate it. Maybe explain to her the importance of a little bit of distance so your LO gets to keep a special bond with their grandmother and not feel as though grandma is like mum.


    And remember one day we will all be some crazed MILs
  • Oh my gosh! Okay when @lovethatcolosun said my MIL isn't that bad, she wasn't lying. Your MIL sounds like she may have a screw loose. Is she married? By that, I mean is her husband still in the picture? I just wonder why she'd be trying so hard to play the mother role in your little family. My FIL is kind of a crap husband/father and my MIL used to act in a way we later learned is identified as emotional incest wherein she tries to replace her husband with her son. Maybe your MIL should see someone. 

    She clearly doesn't respect you so maybe DH should take this one. He needs to have a serious conversation with her and set some boundaries. Maybe move further away. Like out of state. Refugee style.

    Wishing you luck either way :)
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  • Yeah, your SO needs to set her straight. I have told my MIL, that unless this baby magically came out if your vagina, he is not yours. He is mine. Be direct. And do it now before it gets more out of hand.
    • Married 6/1/2012
    • BFP #1 - 11/17/2012 -  MC 12/10/2012
    • BFP #2 - 2/12/2013 - EDD 10/17/2013 - DD Born 10/10/2013
    • BFP #3 - 1/29/2014 - Ectopic pregnancy discovered 1/31/2014
    • BFP #4 - 9/28/2014 - EDD 6/4/2015 - DS Born 5/31/2015


  • kallierayannekallierayanne member
    edited October 2015
    @delujm0 He tries so hard. Ends up in a huge fight with his mom, grandma, and older brother. It drives us both insane! They all side with her because she just feeds them a bunch of lies and won't even listen to our side.
  • kallierayannekallierayanne member
    edited October 2015
    @Messymolly08 yeah she has her husband still. He's a pos though(on drugs) and has a young son who she practically ignores! I don't get why she wants to mother my child but not her own! Also I'm working on moving away! Lol
  • kallierayannekallierayanne member
    edited October 2015
    Thanks everyone. I guess I should say the arguing is more of them yelling at us and us just staring at them like they're crazy lol. I don't have her on social media. Never have for obvious reasons. It's gotten to the point where we don't even go to family functions anymore because of her. I just feel bad because he used to be close with that side. Not his mom really but everyone else but the minute everyone found out I was pregnant everyone changed towards us.
  • @mellymar and @chardeemacdennis hit the nail on the head. Just keep yourself out of situations where she can start drama; don't involve her or inform her of your family plans, distance yourself on social media... I love @mellymar's tactic. "End of discussion." You can't argue with someone who wont engage with you.
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