Duala

mrsmacklin13

Hey ladies do any of you have or have ever had a duala? If so, what is it like? Would you recommend one? I'm considering having one with this pregnancy.

spatter1

I think you mean doula*, and I'm curious about this too. Are they typically only supportive of non-medicated (I mean no pain meds) births?

NachosAndPeaches

I think they're typically associated with natural births, however they can be used for any kind of birth, if you'd like another advocate to help you get your needs met. I think most women who don't care about natural births just don't really care to spend the money because they're more accepting of or at peace with any possible birth outcome if that makes sense. But I am sure if you want one you could still utilize her!

momofmanyinthemitten

I used one and she was amazing. My reason for hiring her was because my first VBAC was a really bad experience and I knew that she had a good track record of smaller mamas birthing bigger babies. I went into l&d with baby #3 hoping to go as far as I could without pain meds and she was very helpful and supportive. I did end up getting a bolus of meds after a crazy long transition. I credit my doula with getting my cervix into the correct position after my OB tried (for what seemed like an eternity) manually to move it. She did things like advocate for me to be able to use the tub, encouragement/instruction, massage - neck/arms/back/perineal (sounds gross, but is amazing during transition), LED candles instead of fluorescent overhead lighting (made a huge difference), music, aromatherapy, and provided a birthing stool (on which I sat to birth baby in just 2 pushes). She was the first person I called when I found out I was pregnant with #4.

ETA: DH is a physician who has been in a ton of high risk deliveries and he prefered having the doula. My l&ds have all been at least 24 hrs, so it was nice for him to be able to take breaks while she covered.

spatter1

That's really helpful info @kielpinskim. I definitely have no intentions of having a natural birth. Planning to listen to my body, do what I can, and get an epidural when I need one whether that's immediately or hours in. I'm intrigued by the idea of a doula as an advocate/someone to help explain things to me and DH and also someone who might be able to help me avoid the meds a little longer. Not sure it's really for me, but worth hearing more about!

tripledaggerWed95976

Most doulas advocate for med-free child birth. If I were to use a doula I would find one who doesn't have a personal preference in terms of medication during child birth. I have heard mostly very good things about doulas. I have only heard from a few people that their doula ended up being pushy or overbearing. But I think if you properly screen them ahead of time you can avoid a bad match like that.

imrachellea

Doulas can definitely be used in births that are not med free as well. A friend of mine is currently training to be a doula, but for primarily another purpose. She had a repeat c-section for her second who had been prenatally diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. Due to his condition, so much medical stuff was being done that she didn't get to hold her son for hours after his birth, and barely see him. She had to fight tooth and nail, until finally a nurse advocated for her. So she's training to do whatever a woman needs/wants help with, med free or not.

NachosAndPeaches

Maybe I'll hire a doula to let me be able to drink water during labor. That was the worst.

mrstrax

NachosAndPeaches said:

Maybe I'll hire a doula to let me be able to drink water during labor. That was the worst.

You couldn't have water? That's messed up. Clear liquids were always okay and the Dr okayed me for toast with jelly when I was fairly early into labor (3 minute contractions slowing to 5-7 minutes, 3-4 cm and had just had membranes ruptured to try to move things along). I understand wanting to avoid asphyxiation and/or tons of puking during labor, but no clear liquids seems semi-dangerous unless they also had you on an IV for fluids, and then it just seems mean.

mrstrax

I didn't/don't find a doula worth the money for 4 reasons but would consider a doula if things were different.

1) I have no desire to go med-free or even follow a birth plan. I have preferences, but they all fall within the typical options at my birth center (within a hospital). They recommend things like the tub, LED candles, and music themselves and are considered "baby friendly" so immediate skin to skin, early breast feeding, rooming in etc are the expectation not the exception. They are also very accommodating to questions like "what if I wait" or "why is that best".

2) DH is very level headed, calm, and a great coach/partner to help me through labor and delivery and we deal with stress well together. I never had that "you did this to me, I hate you" moment that you see in the movies, but if I thought it was possible I would consider another person in the room for his sake.

3) DH and I both have degrees connected to medical science (biochemistry and kinesiology) and therefore have a better than average understanding of "doctor speak". I have no fear that we wouldn't understand what was happening if baby or I needed extra treatment or medication. I think this would be the biggest benefit to having a doula for a medicated birth, especially if your OB isn't very good at putting things in lay terms.

4) I'm not trying for VBAC, macrosomia, or any other higher risk delivery.

Somersky

We just hired a trio of doulas and it gives me great peace of mind. I've been in hospital/ medical settings where I felt disrespected, talked down to, and pressured into decisions without adequate information. I want to be sure that when baby comes, hubby and I have an advocate unconnected to the hospital system. As a bonus, our doula is available from now until delivery for any questions/concerns, will come to our house when labor starts (if we want), will take baby's first photos, and will do a post-natal visit to make sure everybody is doing well.

Our doulas get rave reviews, and two of the three live just a mile or two from our house. They also do not advocate a particular birth method--some people hire them even for planned c-sections. The fact that I am a FTM and want to try and go med-free, however, makes a doula that much more important to me. I also don't have family in the area. And unlike mrstrax, I don't have a medical background. All these factors made the flat $1200 fee a no-brainer for me.

Our doulas hosted a "meet the doulas" event where we heard about their philosophy and got to know each one a little better. It sealed the deal.

All that said, I would love to hear from some mamas who have already had the doula experience.

imrachellea

NachosAndPeaches said:

Maybe I'll hire a doula to let me be able to drink water during labor. That was the worst.

Really?! I would have punched someone had they denied me. I was thirsty my entire pregnancy (no GD, just craved lots of water) and it seemed to quadruple during delivery. I drank a LOT (threw most of it up but preferred that to not drinking) and no one said I couldn't, thank goodness.

mrspumpkinfields

I would love to hire a doula, just being a first time mom and having fears about the birthing process. I want to attempt to have a natural birth, but not lock myself into it. It's the cost that's preventing me from finding one, especially because my insurance is the WORST so I know we are already racking up the pregnancy related healthcare costs and probably can't afford to tack doula expenses on. I guess I could all around and ask prices. Anyone else have positive or negative doula experiences to share? Also, for those who have had one, does your OB seem to mind? For some reason, I could picture mine telling me they are not necessary (in an offended way) lol. 

momofmanyinthemitten

mrspumpkinfields said:

I would love to hire a doula, just being a first time mom and having fears about the birthing process. I want to attempt to have a natural birth, but not lock myself into it. It's the cost that's preventing me from finding one, especially because my insurance is the WORST so I know we are already racking up the pregnancy related healthcare costs and probably can't afford to tack doula expenses on. I guess I could all around and ask prices. Anyone else have positive or negative doula experiences to share? Also, for those who have had one, does your OB seem to mind? For some reason, I could picture mine telling me they are not necessary (in an offended way) lol. 

My OB and doula were friends before she became a doula. I think he likes having her there. She does the hard work and he just catches the baby. Plus, she was able to text back and forth with him to let him know exactly where I was with my labor the 21 hrs before we went to the hospital. However, I live in a small town, so this is probably not super common.

ETA: my doula has a list of OBs that work well with her. Not every OB plays nice.

NachosAndPeaches

mrstrax said:

NachosAndPeaches said:

Maybe I'll hire a doula to let me be able to drink water during labor. That was the worst.

You couldn't have water? That's messed up. Clear liquids were always okay and the Dr okayed me for toast with jelly when I was fairly early into labor (3 minute contractions slowing to 5-7 minutes, 3-4 cm and had just had membranes ruptured to try to move things along). I understand wanting to avoid asphyxiation and/or tons of puking during labor, but no clear liquids seems semi-dangerous unless they also had you on an IV for fluids, and then it just seems mean.

I had an IV. I think it was maybe no water once I had the epi? I don't remember. But yeah, I'm gonna make sure my husband fights that this time.

nhunter112

Most doulas (at least in my area) offer a free consultation to ask all your questions and get all the info you need to make a decision. Maybe you could see if there's a doula who offers one? Might be easier to decide after talking to one.

Somersky

Also--I switched providers when I got a dismissive response to my questions about having a doula (that, plus our OB suggesting hubby didn't need to worry himself with attending prenatal visits--hubby was not happy with that comment). I'm now with a group of midwives that work out of a hospital, and they say doulas are a great benefit for those who want them.

I used doulamatch.net to research doulas in my area, and I also became part of a mommy listserve in my area, which is where I got the recommendation for the doula group we hired. All those I reached out to were happy to meet once for free to see if we were a good fit. Some had tiered pricing depending on what services you wanted, and one offered significantly reduced rates if you were ok with a doula-in-training (I can't recall if that was supervised by a senior doula or not).