Hoping Third Time is the Charm (loss mentioned)

alitria

I got the results of my blood work last night and the dr sent me a message saying things look great. She had me go for hCG testing Wednesday and Friday because I had a MC at 5 weeks the beginning of June. I also found out at 12 weeks I had a mmc on Halloween last year after seeing the heartbeat and things looking great at 8 weeks.

My numbers seem good, 466 at 15 dpo and 974 at 17 dpo but it's so hard to be positive and happy. I've told a couple people at work because I couldn't do something I normally do as part of my job and they are saying "oh, I'm sure things will be great!" but I know from experience that isn't always realistic. I guess I'm here just looking for other people who understand that a positive test is good news but it's also scary and fills you with anxiety and fear at getting let down all over again.

PlainJane8350

I get it on the test...but your numbers look great! Are you going to do any of the genetic blood tests? We did one this time and it really gave us peace of mind, even when we had a scare at our anatomy scan. You can do them really early, too, 10 weeks, I think!

baileyletourneau

I have also had two miscarriages and now I'm pregnant again for the third time. It's so hard to stay positive sometimes but what's meant to be will be. I dread the thought of having to deal with another loss I honestly don't know how I would get through it a third time! Fingers are crossed for both of us that third times a charm and we get to bring our babies home!

nekedfeet

We completely understand- sheer terror. Try to take solace in those good numbers and be happy right now- today you are pregnant. Wishing you nothing but the best this time around. Check in whenever you need a virtual hug-- we're all with you.

spatter1

Ditto what all the ladies said. I try to set little goals and milestones to give myself something to work towards and every time I pass one I feel a little better. I'm 13 weeks now and when we heard the heartbeat on the doppler at 12 weeks that was a big step for us. Now counting down the days (minutes if I'm being honest) until we get to hear it again at 16 weeks! Just try to breathe and let yourself feel scared, it's normal and understandable!!!!

nram25

Sorry for all of you ladies losses'. I do believe that the third time is the charm, after losing twin girls at 23 wks in July 2012, and having a mmc January of this year. I found out that I was 6wks pregnant on April 8 with my second set of twins, and I must admit I was nervous and it was hard to become excited. Eventually, I got over the fear of losing these babies with the support and reassurances from family member's that everything would be just fine. I prayed and gained faith. Once I passed the 23wk mark, a great burden was lifted off my shoulders. Today, I am 34wks+3d pregnant with healthy b/g twins, and I'm so excited and ready to meet them. I know it's hard not to worry, but just have faith and stay positive, and I promise you guys will feel so much better. Good luck to all of you guys on a healthy pregnancy and your rainbow babies.

alitria

Thanks so much to all of you, it's just nice to hear from other people who understand.  I feel like I know tons of women right now with babies or who are pregnant and they just say "oh, don't think about it..." I'm sure that's a great idea, but it's impossible to not think about! 

I'm trying to be positive and take it day by day.  I called and scheduled an intake appointment today for November 10th, which made me a little panicky, but it's also exciting. 

It's great to hear some of you are also having success after two mc in a row, I was feeling a little doomed to failure, but at least now I have some reassurance that it is possible.   

I think we will probably do genetic testing, I was actually at my genetic testing appointment when I found out about my mmc so I know it will be scary to go to that appointment, but I'm such a worrier that I know having my test results will be good for me.  I'm much better at dealing with facts than uncertainty!  My husband and I are older so it's mostly covered by my insurance.  They will pay for it if you are over 35 or considered high risk, so I qualify in two different ways. 

I'm hoping in a few months, I'll be the one posting reassurance here as I enjoy my second trimester!

 

carrieandr

Dirty lurker here...

I had a MMC and a chemical pregnancy and I feel doomed as well.  I lurk on this board because it makes me feel better to see people having successful pregnancies after a loss.  I hope the days fly by for you and maybe you'll be reassuring me here one day!

alitria

I will cross my fingers for you! I lurked here for the same reason.  It sounds like we were very similar, my mmc was at 12 weeks, my most recent at 5.  It's nice to know it is possible and honestly, that's one of the things that's keeping me functioning instead of hiding in the back of my closet until my ultrasound.   

ucfgemini

I am in the exact same boat as you. I'm terrified. I seemed to hang in there until two days ago when my cramping started. Severe cramping seems to be normal for me...she said I basically just gave a sensitive uterus. I'm 7W today and going in for my first scan next week. I had a MMC last year at 8 weeks but didn't know until 10.

alitria

I'll think I've got it under control until I have cramps (which seems to be normal for me too, though I would call them moderate instead of severe) or I don't feel sick one morning or really, anything which happens to set me off.  Then I'm right back to being a ball of nerves.  Today was completely insanely awful at my job and when I just now finally sat down to take a minute for the first time since 7 this morning, I realized I was almost grateful because it's the first time in over a week I wasn't obsessing about every twinge or negative thought. 

Vets1

I totally get it too but hopefully it's all ok, sending you positive well wishes.

peregrinefalconx

I'm sorry for your losses, everyone's losses. I think my opinion varies from other people's on this, but I would say that you don't need to feel positive. You can just feel how you feel and that's ok. It's my 4th time on this ride and I know how things can go. I find that certain things help me as I go along, little mantras. A couple of weeks ago, as I fretted, it was "is this thought helping me?" They weren't and it was good self-care to stop thinking. I was only happy when I forgot all about it. Now my morning sickness is intense enough that I can't forget at all! I think every positive thing is a good milestone, but remaining cautiously optimistic is ok! Don't force yourself to feel any which way--that's not fair to you. Just honor each of your feelings and give it it's space and then let it go.

I, for one, (and my situation is more complicated) find myself kicking myself about everything I didn't know then that could have helped me avoid losses (not that there is any way to know). I am feeling more positive now at 8.5 weeks but will be relieved when i get further. GL!

Nishaat2016

Hi everyone, I'm new here. 3 MC's and now with baby number 4, 12 weeks along and supposedly in the safe zone but not feeling so safe. DH keeps telling me to stay positive but the fear is always there. It's great to read these posts and know we are all in the same boat. I guess we won't ever feel completely ok until our rainbow baby's are safely in our arms hey? But I also think that our past experience makes us even more grateful especially when you're super sick. I'm so happy when I throw up haha coz atleast there's some reassurance. I need to find a way to relax and be more positive but maybe when I am further along. Keeping you all in my prayers! Goodluck to all of us.

alitria

Haha, my husband and best friend call me crazy because I have referred to my early nausea and being "reassuringly sick."  In my first mc, I had normal morning sickness up until about 9 weeks, then it started to fade.  I thought I was just getting off easy, turns out it was my body telling me something was going wrong as my hormone levels declined.  (I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but in my case, I tend to get nauseous very easily and if something could make me sick, it probably will. When I was pregnant with my son, I was so sick the first half that I weighed five lbs more when I gave birth than I did when I got pregnant.)  Last week, I had a really bad day with morning sickness and I told my husband it was a VERY reassuring day.  On one hand, the nausea, sensitivity to smells and random cravings are a pain but at least they seem like some small sign that things are going the way they should be for today.