Baby shower..how many to invite??

parkerwales

Baby girl is due valentines day and since we live out of state, thanks to military, we will have her shower the weekend of thanksgiving when we are visiting home. I'll be 29 weeks.
Question is..what is the average size of a baby shower? I'm starting to get RSVPs and I'm worried it will be super small Some people say small is good (like 30 people) and some have told me to invite more people. ??
Thanks in advance!

Sprinkles07

Any size is good! With ds I invited all family and good friends. We were living out of state for most of them though and the actual shower ended up being 5 of my closest girl friends and lots of gifts from out of town. We still had fun!

BabyHope2013

I wouldn't invite people just to invite people. There really isn't a minimum--unless your venue has one. I've been to showers with as many as 100 people and others as small as just 5 people. I personally will say the smaller ones are more fun. I dread going to the big ones because it takes forever and feels like such an impersonal production.

Achae

I think this is a question for your host. If they can feed and accommodate a certain number you are set by that.

cantobean

What @Achae said. You have to consider what your host can accommodate.

Beyond that, it's not really the number of people, but your relationship with those people you should consider. I wouldn't want to go to a shower for somebody I haven't really spoken to in 3 years, for example. Stick to family and close friends. If you have 30+ of those and your host can accommodate them, go for it.

VitaLuna

I don't think 30 is particularly "small". I had around 15-20, and that was more than plenty. Like others have said, it depends on what your host wants. I certainly wouldn't invite people just because others can't come.

satuttle1014

I invited 30 and actually 23 so far can make it. Not expecting that since mine will be before Thanksgiving.

I think it's up to you who you want to invite. I don't think it matters of the size. I invited my few close friends, family friends and family. I would not say 30 is small, 15 or less is small. 20-30 seems normal to me.

camusoh2011

We will only have about 6 or so at my shower. I just don't have a lot of friends and I don't have coworkers because of student teaching. I wouldn't feel right inviting the staff I am working with. My family had said they would come (a friend is hosting), but now that they know we're going to find out the sexes a couple of weeks later they all bailed and said they want to wait and host their own.

SU1989

I think it's all about who you want to invite. It can be large or small and depends on the people planning it and what they can host. For me, I have giant families (60+ cousins) my mom is the youngest of 14 and my dad the oldest of 6. Both families are super close and every one of them want to be apart of our babies life so for our shower we had to rent a place to hold the people that are coming. But that is how every shower has been in my family from the beginning. So in my opinion it can be large or small the baby and you will feel the love no matter the size!

Karen249

Imo, I say invite only people that are in your "circle." Family, friends, maybe close coworkers if they can make it. Inviting extra just to have a large shower can come across, as a little "gift grabbie." Personally, my shower (for my first) was less than 10. My friends organized a beautiful brunch and we just talked. It was lovely and quaint. It was just the women (friends, family) in my life that I really care about and will be part of my daughter's life. Personally, I really don't like getting invited to showers of coworkers that I'm not close with, random acquaintances, or super distant relatives that I don't even know because even if I can find an excuse not to go, I still feel obligated to get a present just because I got invited. Sorry if that makes me sound cheap but like most we live on a budget and it's hard to buy for every shower. Anyway, I hope whatever you decide that you have a great shower and a great visit home for the holiday!

parkerwales

Thank you!! This made me feel better
Also, I should have added that the shower is at my in laws house. They have a pre civil war home that is also a wedding venue, so the barn it will be in can fit up to 200. But, if we were having it anywhere else, I would definitely consult with the host about number of people
Thanks again. I'm sure it will be perfect..I'm just a worrier sometimes!

4N6s

Invite the people you want there.
I don't even have 30 people to invite

je5sc0

My mom invited 50, but at least half live out of state. We have gigantic families.

g8trkim

I had two showers with my first pregnancy (hometown with family and town where I lived with friends). I would say each were around 20 people. I wouldn't call 30 small. I've been to big showers and I think they feel very impersonal.

Katty422

I am going go have a small shower at my mom's house. I will be helping her out as much as I can! Nothing fancy. Around 25 people.

Shatzegirl

I think it all depends on how much your hostess can afford/accommodate. And if you want it to be intimate or big. I had 10 people at my first and will probably have about that many for my second. I would've had more but a lot of my friends and family live out of town.

brushesnbrunch

I would give her the list of who you'd like to invite and say if there's an issue and needs to be consolidated to talk to you and the two of you can skim down together as needed.

kinnonam

It depends on how many people you want to share the moment with. I've lived in 4 different states and have settled in Nj but my SO has been here his whole life. So we are sending out around 100 invites between family and friends!

Cheryl Renee

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

kbedfox

Cheryl Renee said:

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

Might want to speak with the host before inviting a ton of random people, just in case they DO show up and your host has to foot the bill entertaining people you aren't close with/don't talk to. If I got a shower invitation from someone I wasn't close with, I'd definitely think it was gift grabby. I wouldn't go and I wouldn't send a gift either.

sheslikeasunburn

Cheryl Renee said:

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

tacky.

Monkeybutt80

Cheryl Renee said:

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

This is exactly why I didn't invite a single out of town family members to my shower (other than my MIL and SIL who already told me that they were traveling to come). a lot of the non invited family and friends from out of town ended up sending gifts when my first was born anyway, but I did not want to seem like "I know you aren't coming but I wanted to send you an invitation so that you can send me a gift". 

ohbaby714

Cheryl Renee said:

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

I think this is incredibly tacky to invite people and expect them to get you a present out of obligation or guilt. I would totally side eye an invite from someone I barely knew, and definitely would not send them any sort of gift.

Jellybelly119

Monkeybutt80 said:

Cheryl Renee said:

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

This is exactly why I didn't invite a single out of town family members to my shower (other than my MIL and SIL who already told me that they were traveling to come). a lot of the non invited family and friends from out of town ended up sending gifts when my first was born anyway, but I did not want to seem like "I know you aren't coming but I wanted to send you an invitation so that you can send me a gift". 

I actually went back and forth with my mom about inviting really, really close family/friends from out of town that I knew wouldn't be able to attend. One is one of my best friends, and I know for a fact she has no vacation time left after getting married a few months ago. My mom decided to just send an invite so she doesn't feel left out entirely, but I kind of felt like it was just a tacky way to send her my registry. Her mom held a small bridal shower for her where she lives, didn't invite any of us from school, and I was pretty bummed to not even have the option to try to get down there to celebrate. It's such a delicate situation sometimes.

However, I'm not inviting ANYONE just for the purpose of increase my gift haul. Ew.

CharminglySouthern

thegoudalife said:

Cheryl Renee said:

My experience with both wedding and baby showers is thus: invite a ton of people, maybe 1/3 of them will actually show up but alot of people will give you a gift just because you invited them.  The only people that actually came to my showers were people I'm close to and talk to, or maybe close to my family (mother's good friends) but we scored a ton of gift cards from others who didn't come.  I guess they felt obligated to get something???  All the same, we were blessed with a bunch of gifts!

Soooo you basically invited people just to get gifts out of them, knowing they wouldn't come?

Thats.....classy.

Wow. This. So much ew.